pistol, suction cup darts

Need a present idea for the person who has everything and who buys whatever they think of? And who also watches television sometimes?

Give this idea a chance. Amazon dart gun 2 pistols, 5 inches, it looks like ten darts each. For when Carl Rove comes on or any other unsavory fellow.

I believe these pistols have potential to boost mental health and sharpen hand eye coordination and reaction time. I want them. I will use both pistols and unload both packages of darts in series, my screen will be covered with darts. And all those people who come on to vex me are transformed to something useful and fun and good to have appear on the screen. "There you are, blam, five points as you are low value target" and so on as you watch, adding up points for yourself making television more pleasant, relaxing, charming and interactive. 

Yes, I believe grown men will love these.

Antagonists, organizers, political types want to use their mouths to push words in your ears, carriers of their malevolent ideas, so use their flappy mouths instead as targets. It will be fun. And two people can play. 

This Christmas gift can release such joy unto the world beyond your present imaginings. The people will not think of buying this delightful item themselves, being a toy it will never even occur to them, but once in their hands and shooting immediately, irresistably, at whomever for their own reasons, and seeing them stick, instead of bounce all over the place as Nerf darts do, they will wonder how they ever enjoyed life without them. You will be cheered and admired as perceptive gift buyer where cost of things means nothing at all.

But what if it fails? That happens sometimes. Gifts sometimes fail so you say, and this goes for anything, "If you don't like it I will not be offended if you have somebody in mind to re-gift it." They will smile when you say that because it lets them off the hook and makes you appear generous, and they're thinking in that moment what if they give it someone you don't like, but there is no extra generosity to it. If they give away your gift even without mentioning you, then your gift counts as two splendid gifts. 

Counts as two among who? Among the gift-generosity karma counting fairies, I don't know. All I know is this silly crap really works. You should buy them. 

Speaking of immigrants

I love them so. The immigrants I come into contact, the ones that I speak to directly, are all fine people that I am proud and pleased to welcome.

That is not the present situation under discussion though. I have not seen the likes of a political party abandoning law and demagoguing the issue of immigration and presuming to lecture us all, the children and grandchildren of immigrants ourselves about our country being made up of immigrants while cooly dismissing the difference between legal and illegal immigration. Simply and completely dismissing the real issue at hand challenging us all while hurling racial invective on top of it all. This proves to me repeatedly they obsessed with race are the ones who are racist, and racist in all things.

One of the women I gave the Dixon chile power to is such an immigrant. We adore each other. She teaches me Spanish, we have a good time together. We share.

Check this out, Checkerouters, by way of repayment for the bag of chile powder she told me she has a book she wants me to have. By what she told me in passing I was led to believe she had in mind a cookbook written in Spanish. I was hoping for that. Today, just now, she knocked on my door and turned over to me this whole pile of books she can no longer use. She told me why each one is unsuitable for her, why they must go.

• Better Homes and Gardens Anyone Can Cook. This will not be useful to me either.
• Chocolate treats. I already have Chocolate Bible and other chocolate books I read them and absorbed them.
• Taste of Home's Best Holiday Recipes A magazine, the sort I toss without looking through, like Sunset. Too many annoying drop out cards.
• Creative Crepe Cooking I already know all about crepes.
• Wolfgang Puck Make it Easy I do not need anything easy.
• Weber's real Grilling.  I could have written this book myself. 
• Ultimate Rose I sodded over an extensive rose garden of some fifty plants decades ago. Way too much work for so brief a reward. Plus my dog dropped dead in that rose garden. Too much emotion for me for that.

I cannot use any of these books. And I am in a paring down mode presently. These books are not for me, I would not choose any of them. But still, here they are, a thoughtful gift indeed, in deed, and I do appreciate that. I am just too hard to please. So off to Goodwill with the rest of the stuff that is going there presently and I do and always will appreciate the impulse behind the trouble of bringing all this directly to me. 

Come to think of it, she may be thinking the same thing about the chile powder I gave her. She might have her own thing already and cannot use this. Maybe she's advanced beyond whatever it is I can think of. But why blow it by letting each other know all of that? Don't tell her, okay? It really is the thought that counts. And count it does. 

Dixon chile powder (5 stars)