I starting walking which nobody does in the burbs. I figure there must be a food joint close by. I mean what the fuck we are always passing them when we drive down Sunrise Highway! Well for four blocks in either direction there is nothing. No Burger King. No McDonalds. No diner. No Dunkin Donuts. No IHOP. No pizzeria! No shit!
All there was were home stores. A kitchen cabinet place. A window treatment place. A store totally devoted to shower doors. What the fuck… shower doors! I mean I could go in and order a shower door with extra cheese! Hey put more Mayo on those Levelor blinds. What a fucking letdown!
That is not even the worst part. As I was walking by cursing and talking to myself I saw my reflection in the window. I said to myself “Self I recognize that guy. But who is it?”
Then I realized it! I look like the silhouette of Alfred Hitchcock!
I am one fat fuck!
6 comments:
My height and weight set my obesity threshold at 180 lbs. If I go above that I begin to have recurring back pain issues and that is a powerful motivator to keep weight off.. I can't believe I let myself go to the extent that I did years ago.
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
I like living in a suburb w/ the ability to be in a city in less than 20 minutes.
I take it you need to practice your, "Good evening".
I used to watch that show when it was first broadcast, but when I tried to rewatch it lately I found that I couldn't make it through an episode. Perhaps if I had a leg of lamb...
There's usually a hot dog cart in front of Home Depot, Trooper. And probably a wine cart in front of Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
Hitch's dark humor and droll delivery was always enjoyable.
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