I starting walking which nobody does in the burbs. I figure there must be a food joint close by. I mean what the fuck we are always passing them when we drive down Sunrise Highway! Well for four blocks in either direction there is nothing. No Burger King. No McDonalds. No diner. No Dunkin Donuts. No IHOP. No pizzeria! No shit!
All there was were home stores. A kitchen cabinet place. A window treatment place. A store totally devoted to shower doors. What the fuck… shower doors! I mean I could go in and order a shower door with extra cheese! Hey put more Mayo on those Levelor blinds. What a fucking letdown!
That is not even the worst part. As I was walking by cursing and talking to myself I saw my reflection in the window. I said to myself “Self I recognize that guy. But who is it?”
Then I realized it! I look like the silhouette of Alfred Hitchcock!
I am one fat fuck!