TSA: "Let's take a closer look at those breasts."
From The Mirror (as reputable a publication, in terms of veracity of their stories, as the NYT, or the National Enquirer):
Heathrow Airport is on high terror alert amid fears women suicide
bombers are ready to strike with explosives concealed in breast
implants.
Security checks have been beefed up after “credible”
intelligence that al-Qaeda is plotting attacks on airlines flying out of
London.
One staff member said: “There are genuine fears over this.
"We have been told to pay particular attention to females who may have concealed hidden explosives in their breasts."
 |
| Threat level: Defcon 4. |
Somewhere, a thousand skeezy TSA agents just went full-boner. Rest assured that directives and procedures are already being fleshed out for new advanced search techniques like the squeeze-and-jiggle, the nipple tweak, and the motorboat.
27 comments:
I've always worried about the tampon bomb. You know the crazy islamists have thought about it.
islamists must get a thrill with the idea of a lowly woman blowing herself up for jihad.
I'm going to assume that Teri Hatcher gets an automatic pass.
Thank you for posting the image of Selma Hayek. Not only is she a citizen of Mexico, but also, I believe of Arab decent, which means that she's a potential jihadi with a glorious rack that will kill us all as she crosses the border from TJ into the US. We are all doomed. Doomed I say.
They've got boners? For the most part they'll be fingering deflated bags.
Pasta, we're not all as technically savvy as you...what is a "motorboat," please?
The Evinrude two stroke was the original until Johnson came along.
In theory, both silicone and saline can be distinguish from plastic explosives by full body scanners, but not without closer scrutiny.
Pontoon or it didn't happen.
The motor goes between the pontoons in the outboard embodiment of the invention: link
More generally, the motor engages the transom near the stern.
I learned nautical language building models as a kid.
I've always worried about the tampon bomb.
bad ass pms right there.
The motorboat is the sound that is made when a prolonged non-speech aspirational vocalization of the larynx is produced involving the loosely reverberating lips and open-mouth flappy-cheeks when rapidly alternating in aspect between two voluptuous female human breasts, suggesting dampness and the sound of a motor, but not just a regular motor, a motor boat.
Ah, thank you Chip, that was enlightening. I was thinking a "motorboat" was something else entirely.
Gives new meaning to the term "bombshell".
I suspected as much, Chip. Thank you.
This looks like a job for Troop
Chip - that was a highly precise, clinical definition. I wonder if that urban slang website will "borrow" this from you to add to their list.
Mitchell the Bat said...
I'm going to assume that Teri Hatcher gets an automatic pass.
Dude, that ain't Teri Hatcher.
I don't think that we have to worry about women with small breasts, however, there should be a law that if your breasts are a certain size, which would mean like big, then, you have to wear a bra made out of kevlar.
islamists must get a thrill with the idea of a lowly woman blowing herself up for jihad.
Do they get 72 virgins? Does this mean Allah is down with the lesbian action?
Everybody is down with lesbian action.
Airbags save lives. They are flirtation, I mean, flotation devices.
Seems to me like the TSA has a one hand & in the other hand type of problem.
When in doubt, share the responsibility with equal zest.
One man's junk is another's artificial intelligence.
You know, Hayek is married to a billionaire. She doesn't have to go through security when she has her own fucking plane.
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