The Cat's Meow

"Hello darling it has been a while. How have you been. I have just been here fingering my pussy. I love to finger my pussy in the early evening. Or in the morning. Most anytime during the day. There is never a bad time to finger your pussy." 
"What?" 
"Yes at church might be a bad time tis true. Although the preacher seems not to mind all that much. Do you like to watch me fingering my pussy....Trey...Trey...why are you turning blue?" "Oh well I guess I will have to call the nurse again. This is getting tiresome. If you don't watch out I might turn cat-tankerous!"

The Cat's Meow

"Can I help you little man?"
"No I think I am here to help you. I am here to replace the gardener who is busy. My name is Ed. Are you the Blond?"
"I am sorry little boy. The Blond is a figment of your imagination. Now why don't you run along and write some fan mail to someone who is interested. Oh and one more thing."
"Yes?"
"Stop staring at my tits."
"I can't help it they are at eye level."
"Well cut it out. It's all fun and games until someone get's their eyes poked out."