“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.” Happy Thanksgivi...

Doesn’t Slow Joe remind you of Les Nessman?

Happy Thanksgiving!

To all you witches!

Hey cutie you want to see my cornucopia?

KLEM FM

Overheard:

deborah said...
With my family it's a waste of a beautiful holiday. I love Thanksgiving. This past year I bought two vintage platters with turkeys on them. But there is always stress because two family members don't get along. I bailed this year, but next year they can suck it. I will rule that meal.
November 26, 2015 at 12:47 AM

More power to you, deborah. And remember, things can always be worse:

link in case the video doesn't load

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Thanksgivingmanship

"It is the goal of the dedicated Thanksgivingman, then, to achieve the sublime art of giving offense without offense being taken.

My basic strategy is thus: It would be as rude of you as it is rude of your cretinous grownchildren  [young and progressive] kin to allow a Thanksgiving dinner into a stupid game of Rachel Maddow Talking Points and their rebuttals.

So, rather than confront the unemployed idiots who will be assailing you, I propose instead to superficially avoid conflict and engagement on their dummy mouthflappings, and appear instead to agree with them."

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/360259.php

-----------------

Ah, Thanksgiving. My strategy is more or less to not show up. I remember when it was considered impolite to discuss religion or politics.

Thanksgiving Morning

The sound of gunfire woke me at sunrise on this Thanksgiving morning.

I'm at the cabin in the north woods, where Thanksgiving coincides with deer hunting season.  The noise of gun fire in the woods at sunrise sounded like a neighboring county launched a land invasion of our county.  This is an annual event, and we are accustomed to it.

I decided against taking the usual morning hike down the lane, even though I have the full array of head-to-toe high viz outerwear.  Most of the hunters will be cleared out of the woods by noon, so I'll go out then, when it will be safer.

Coffee.  I've had a cup of coffee first thing in the morning most mornings since when I was sixteen and pterodactyls still dotted the skies.  Coffee shops like Starbucks weren't a thing back then.  A coffee shop was another name for a diner, usually a smaller diner, where a cup of coffee and a slice of home made pie could be enjoyed while you sat at the counter and read the newspaper.  Or coffee and a cruller, if you preferred.

My favorite coffee shop is a place you haven't heard of, but you probably visit quite often,  My favorite coffee shop is Homebucks.  You've probably been there, they have locations everywhere.

I can show up at Homebucks in my bathrobe and nobody complains. I get to choose the music and the television station, and I get as many refills as I want.  I always get the comfy chair near the window. There is never a table of amp'd up sales reps behind me planning their day. And the cookies and scones are always fresh.

Nobody lines up in front of me wasting time trying to figure out which nine ingredients he or she wants in his or her coffee.  I order the usual: coffee with half-and-half in the big cup I bought in New Orleans a few years ago, at Cafe du Monde.  The server (usually me) gets it right every time.

There is no drive-through, but there is a drive-in that allows overnight covered parking, and they gave me the door opener. The newspaper is never taken apart and scattered over several tables. The magazine selection is always magazines I find interesting. No twenty-two year old server or barrista ever patronizingly refers to me as "young man", a thing I have grown to detest. I am not asked whether I qualify for a senior discount. I don't have to leave a tip, ever, and sometimes I get lucky with the waitress.

Best of all, if the coffee doesn't wake me up, they let me take a nap.

I made coffee, poured a cup, lit a fire in the fireplace, put on some Emmylou Harris, and started to think about Thanksgiving.  There is so much to be thankful for that I don't know where to begin, so I'll begin at the beginning.  I'm thankful that Captain Christopher Jones led 102 Puritans and Pilgrims and crew to sail the Atlantic in search of a land where they could have religious freedom, away from the constraints placed on the English by the monarchy and the Church of England.  I'm thankful that half of the immigrants survived the first winter, and decided to remain here and not return to England.

I'm thankful that for the next 150 years the colonies grew and thrived, all the while debating the nature of government and the governed, and settling finally on the notions of democracy, a representative republic, freedom from government oppression, and on human rights that were given by God, and not by some ruler, with liberty and justice for all.

I'm thankful for everyone who came after, the ones who endured hardships beyond our knowing, the ancestors on whose shoulders we stand.  I'm thankful for the warriors, the fighters who kept this republic intact through war and strife.  I'm thankful for laws made on the Biblical ideas of right and wrong, even though that nearly destroyed the republic when the scourge of slavery had to be ended.

I'm thankful to live in a civilized and safe society, among good people like you.  I'm thankful for my family, I'm thankful that I've lived longer than I ever imagined I would and have seen more than I ever imagined I'd see.

But mostly I'm thankful for God's mercy, forgiveness, and grace.  For without that, there is nothing, and with that there is everything.

Happy, happy Thanksgiving to each of you.  You brighten my days and bring happiness. And I hope I have done the same for you in some small measure.

Regards,

Haz

ADDED:  This year I'm making a vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner.  So far, so good.

Thanksgiving travel

A couple decades ago when I was adorable and still nice, a small group of five other friends flew to Hawaii over Thanksgiving holiday. We flew United, I was sitting next to Bart, one of my favorite friends. Bart has crow's feet at the corners of his eyes even then, that young due to his face fixed in a permanent smile.

"Anonymous 'TipsforJesus'"

"An anonymous person or persons armed with an AMEX Centurion card, a love for college football and an Instagram account is setting out to "do the Lord's work, one tip at a time," leaving thousands of dollars in tips to unsuspecting servers."

On Sept. 8, an @tipsforjesus Instagram account posted the first photo verifying its mission, capturing the image of a receipt for Bar Louie in Ann Arbor, Mich., where they left a $3,000 tip for an $87.98 tab. The account posted two more receipt photos the next day, one featuring a $5,000 tip, the other showing a receipt with a $7,000 tip held by a grinning man, confirmed to be the co-owner of Alley Bar in Ann Arbor. Both of the receipts were signed, "@tipsforjesus."

That same day, tipsforjesus also posted a screenshot of an ABC 4 Utah article about a "mysterious" tipper who left thousands of dollars in tips in Ogden, Utah, this August, with the photo description "#tipsforjesus."

ABC News

Missing at Thanksgiving (Part II or...The Other Side of Things)

I sent my older siblings the paragraph about them from my post, and I thought you all might enjoy the response I got from my sister:

Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! I was invited to John’s, and he showed me your email and said isn’t that nice? And then he said he remembered that too, the excitement of coming home, and then he said, “and half the time you were pissed!” I said OMG, I remember that! I was! I would be so excited to come home and see everybody and I would be all warm jelly when I got off the plane, and I’d see everyone greeting each other, and I’m smiling, waiting, walking, and then realize there’s no one at the plane anxious to hug poor me. I’d have to walk down to the baggage area, find my bags, pull them out to the curb and wait, generally in the cold, while Mom or Dad circled the airport until they saw me. Too much trouble, or too cheap, to park. All my warm jelly was gone, and I felt very un-special, and pissed again. Like Charlie Brown with the football, I never seemed to modify my expectations and every holiday I’d stick out my chin again! It’s hilarious that John remembered me being pissed! When you guys were old enough to drive, though, I always got the royal treatment, and later you’d bring your kids, and those were extra special homecomings that absolutely delighted me. You trained your kids to anticipate Aunt Dale with joy and it has been my greatest joy to love them.

Pumpkin Pie Smoothie

Inspired by Chip Ahoy's recipe for turkey broth, I took a look around the kitchen this morning to see how leftovers could be repurposed into something non-leftover-y and still tasty and appealing.

 

What to do with the remaining calorie-laden pumpkin pie?  That is always a pressing morning-after-Thanksgiving question.  You can't just ignore it, but you are not feeling good (probably) about eating pie for breakfast, and you don't want to throw it away because of the starving children in India your parents told you about when you didn't clean your plate back when.

 

Well my health conscious friends, you can re-purpose that left over pie into a nutritious smoothie.

 

Because smoothies are by definition and common belief the healthiest thing you can ingest before, during and after exercise.  Smoothies are so healthy that are sold in health food stores.  If that isn't proof, I don't know what is.

Scrape the filling off the crust, place filling in blender, discard the evil crust.  Add 1 medium banana, preferably frozen.  Then add:

1 cup almond milk

1.5 tbsp honey

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1.5 tsp pumpkin pie spice (if your pie was made by someone who likes bland pies)

3-5 ice cubes

1-2 shots of bourbon (optional, but what the heck, it's for your health, and it eliminates toxins.)

Blend until it looks like a smoothie.  Or a smoovie if you never studied phonics.  Drink to your health!

Pro tip:  This recipe is easily adaptable to apple pie and other fruit pies.  It won't be quite as successful with pecan pie, kidney pie, shepard's pie, cheesecake and that awful fake pie thing made with Cool Whip and crushed Oreos.

"Media still feasting on Bush ‘fake’ turkey claim; erroneous story still repeated 10 years on"

"It wasn’t exactly the disastrous rollout of Obamacare, but 10 years ago this week, Washington was consumed with another scandal, dubbed by one CNN newscaster as “Turkey-gate”: Was that a fake turkey President George W. Bush was photographed with during his first surprise visit with troops in Iraq?

The photo resulting from the visit was iconic — possibly history’s most famous picture of a cooked turkey. It’s certainly the most misunderstood. Despite being a real turkey, meant as a decoration for the chow line, Mr. Bush’s political opponents seized on it, erroneously claiming it was plastic.

In the years since, the bogus “fake turkey” story keeps churning, including slipping into 2004 New York Times and Boston Globe articles, making it into talk radio shows in 2005 and popping up in Washington Post and London Telegraph stories in 2006. To this day, it still creeps into print in letters to the editor in newspapers around the country.

“It’s a real theme in so many people’s minds, it’s almost got a religious aspect to it,” said Tim Blair, a columnist at The Daily Telegraph in Australia who has tracked the story over the past decade and said it has taken on a life of its own, playing on people’s perceptions of the former president. “If you’re of the anti-Bush faith, it’s a touchstone. It’s the book of turkey.”

The Washington Times

"Be thankful that you can read these words"

"A friend of mine that I've known a very long time, sent me this via email. I thought I'd share --"

1. Be thankful for growing older. Not everyone gets this opportunity. Aging with health and grace is a rare and beautiful gift.

2. Be thankful that you can read these words. It is a very sad thing that many people do not have the ability to read.

3. If you have to wait in line at the supermarket for your Thanksgiving dinner, be thankful that you can afford what you want to eat and have a convenient place to buy it. We are all aware of the many people waiting in line to have a meal at the local homeless shelter.

4. Be thankful for the ability to pay your bills, even if it means that you have to give up some things that you want. Remember that having basic needs met is a luxury for many people.

5. If you have to get up before dawn to get to work, be thankful that you get to see another sunrise and have a job to go to. Think about what it would be like if you slept everyday until noon and spent the rest of your waking hours wondering what to do with your life.
6. When you're stuck in traffic, be thankful you have a car to get where you need to go and money to buy gas. Standing in the rain while waiting for a bus is, at the very least, uncomfortable.

7. When the kids are screaming at each other, be thankful that you have children to love and who love you, and remember that at least some of the time, they do get along. There will always be bumps in the road, but they are usually followed by easier times.

8. When your mate is acting grumpy or giving you a hard time, be thankful for having love in your life and someone to grow old with. A life partner is something that less than half the population has. Having your partner is a blessing that needs to be counted several times.

9. When your parents are telling you how to run your life, be thankful that you still have them around. If they are no longer with you, take a moment to be thankful for the time you had with them.

10. When you sit down with your loved ones for your Thanksgiving dinner, be thankful for everyone and everything that makes it possible. Look your family and friends in the eye and express to them your gratitude for sharing this wonderful time together.

Thanksgiving is a very special holiday. Embrace those around you and your ability to give thanks to those you love.

AllenS

"Thanksgiving Request From President Obama"

"This holiday season, millions of Americans have a chance to get quality, affordable health insurance—many for the first time. If you have family members who are uninsured, you can play a big part in helping them find coverage that works for them. It might not always seem like it, but your family listens to you. So have the talk."

Are your family members traveling home for the holidays? There are a few things they’ll need to sign up for health coverage. Make sure they bring the following items with them before they head home.

Make sure you have a plan for when, where, and how you’ll talk to your family about health insurance. Here are a few tips to help you prepare.

Make a pledge to have a conversation with your family about health insurance this holiday season.

Organizing for Action

Missing at Thanksgiving

As I get older, Thanksgiving evokes more and more memories of time with my loved ones over the years, and all the things I miss so dearly.

I miss my mom's cooking. I can mostly duplicate her Thanksgiving meal but somehow it will never quite taste the same as hers - and maybe it's right that it never will. I don't believe I'll ever be able to duplicate her pie crust, although she did try to show me once when I asked. I even miss the annoying habit she had of cooking all day in her housecoat and then not bothering to change for dinner. All of that and much more will be the Thanksgiving memories of her that will last and stay with me.

Anyone who knows me well knows how I miss my dad. I don't want to cry and type so I'll leave it at that.

I have three much older siblings who, by the time I started having real memories of Thanksgiving, were already away at college and then eventually living somewhere out of state. So Thanksgiving for me meant They Were Coming Home. I'll never forget the anticipation of that. Waiting at the big picture window to see my big brothers and my sister coming down the long driveway to join us for a long weekend of time together. We still get together for holidays, but that feeling of missing them so much and having them come home to spend treasured hours together is something I haven't had in years and years and I know a lot of people can relate to it.

I am thinking today of the little sisters and brothers who have a sibling who will be missing from that table at Thanksgiving forever. The young, brave hearts who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country whose absence will always be felt. The parents who probably can't get through listening to this song:

May God bless their families.

Macy's to be open on Thanksgiving Day

"Macy's Inc. says it will open most of its stores for the first time on Thanksgiving, breaking a long-standing tradition for the venerable retailer.

In a release issued late Monday, the Cincinnati-based chain said it will open its doors at 8 p.m. on that day and will remain open for 24 hours straight until the close of business on Friday, which is usually about 10 p.m. Last year, the chain opened its doors at midnight right after the holiday. The department store chain cited increasing demand from shoppers for the earlier opening."

MSN