Phase Four my balls

I was really looking forward to a professional haircut. The wife did a pretty good job with the clippers but she constantly complained that my beard is scraggly. I started growing it during this bullshit quarantine and it goes all over the place. She likes the way the barber would trim my goatee so I was looking forward to him grooming my beard in the same way.

I get to the barbershop and he is sitting outside smoking a cigarette with no mask on. Now this asshole is a Russian and you think he would not kowtow to authority being a Russian Jew who fled oppression. Instead he puts on a mask and tells me that he can't trim my beard because it is against regulations.  I mean what the fuck. Who is going to see that inside his joint when there are no passerby's or anyone in the store. It was completely empty the whole time I was there. He had no business. The whole reason I went to him was to get my beard trimmed. Plus he raised his prices because he was sucking wind for money. Fuck you dude. I can get the same haircut at home for free.

The wife keeps complaining because she says I should be in the Civil War or something because of how my beard is growing out. That kind of scares me.

I figure if I stand around at Trader Joe's some moolie will try and tip me over.

This guy is not just a member of the David Gest fan club....he is the President.

Boyfriend of ‘Catwoman’ arrested after late night fight 

New York Post By Tina Moore and Daniel Prendergast December 11, 2016 

The fashion-designer boyfriend of wealthy socialite Jocelyn Wildenstein, a.k.a. “Catwoman,” was arrested Sunday when he roughed her up while trying to remove property from their lavish Manhattan apartment, authorities said.

Lloyd Klein, 49, was cuffed after the 2:30 a.m. fight at her Trump World Tower pad on First Avenue and East 47th Street in Turtle Bay, cops said.

Klein showed up to retrieve some property before grabbing Wildenstein’s arms and pushing the 76-year-old to the ground, causing a minor injury to her hand, as well as some neck and back pain.

The woman called cops who arrested Klein, who tried to remove a Swiss ID, an iPhone 6, a cell phone case and a Visa credit card.

He was charged with robbery, grand larceny, misdemeanor assault and criminal mischief. He was awaiting arraignment Sunday.

The arrest comes less than a week after the troubled couple’s last run in with the law, when Wildenstein was arrested for clawing Klein’s face before grabbing a pair of scissors and slashing him on the chest.

Klein then stuffed his girlfriend into a closet until police arrived and took her away.

The Swiss-born Wildenstein was infamous 20 years ago for spending millions of dollars on misguided cosmetic surgery to make her look cat-like. Her divorce from billionaire art-dealing husband Alec Wildenstein also was fodder for tabloid headlines. He died in 2008.

Jocelyn Wildenstein once explained that she sought out surgery in part to make her eyes look more feline.