On Hammered & Noses as Long as Telephone Wires

 

Curiously enough, Urban Dictionary came through with a broader and more fitting description of "hammered" than I was familiar with, listing symptoms that include: babbling, hysterical laughter, name calling, aggressiveness, destructiveness, momentary lapses of consciousness, stumbling, vomiting, yelling, incoherent singing, falling, profanity, disregard for the value of money or a propensity for excessive spending and, of course, more drinking.