“You were at the debate? What
happened?”
“Macro
Rubio slammed two torpedoes into the SS Trump, Chief. We was comin' back from
that terrible loss in South Carolina... just dropped like a bomb. The Hiroshima
bomb. Eleven hundred million in Super Pac Money went into the water. The Bush
Campaign went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the Donald Trump coming for about
a half an year. Tiger. Asshole. Reality star.
Thirteen footer. Of pure bullshit. You know... you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. Well, at least at his toupee... it is a dead giveaway. I have lived all over the world. It’s not like I lived on one block all my life. I have traveled. I even know how to drive. A car. A boat. A golf ball. Everything except a nail. I hire Mexicans for that. Sailed the seven seas. B'cause my missions had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent to anyone, huh. I know everything but I can’t school all of you fools. I can only bomb one blog at a time. So when I didn’t attack that reality star asshole they didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The Trumplets come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like 'ol squares in battle like uh, you see on a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo. The elitists. The Republican establishment. The small businessmen who exploit illegal aliens. The conservative pundits who Trump refuses to consult. The Neocons who never saw a war they didn’t want to start. And the idea was, the Trump goes to the nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the Trump and the Trumplets would go away and attack someone else.
Thirteen footer. Of pure bullshit. You know... you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. Well, at least at his toupee... it is a dead giveaway. I have lived all over the world. It’s not like I lived on one block all my life. I have traveled. I even know how to drive. A car. A boat. A golf ball. Everything except a nail. I hire Mexicans for that. Sailed the seven seas. B'cause my missions had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent to anyone, huh. I know everything but I can’t school all of you fools. I can only bomb one blog at a time. So when I didn’t attack that reality star asshole they didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The Trumplets come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like 'ol squares in battle like uh, you see on a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo. The elitists. The Republican establishment. The small businessmen who exploit illegal aliens. The conservative pundits who Trump refuses to consult. The Neocons who never saw a war they didn’t want to start. And the idea was, the Trump goes to the nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the Trump and the Trumplets would go away and attack someone else.
Nobody wants to end up like
Bush. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that Trump, he looks right into
you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a Trump, he's got...
lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem
to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then,
ah... then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red
and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to
pieces. Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred establishment pussies!
I don't know how many Trumplets there were out there in the audience... maybe a
thousand! Certainly enough for him to sweep Super Tuesday. I don't know how
many pundits were savaged, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin'
chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Bill Kristol from Connecticut and the Weekly
Standard. Neocon apologist. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him
up. He bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended him
into a raft. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Not that he ever
had any balls there to begin with. At noon on the fifth day, a focus group saw
us, they swung in low and they saw us. Anyway they gave Rubio some pointers on
how to attack so he doesn’t sound like a rampaging queen... and Rubio saw us
and come in low. Real low. Not that he could go as low as that Reality Star New
York asshole. And three hours later a big fat Frank Luntz comes down and starts
to pick us up. Tells us that we can still beat the Trump and the Trumplets. You know that was the time I was most
frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I can’t wait to tell everyone that you can’t
trust somebody from New York. You can’t trust a reality show TV star. You can’t
trust anybody but a politician or a lawyer. I know. I have been everywhere and
done everything and I get to tell people what to think and how to feel. I have
been practicing my sneer in the mirror and it is perfect. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. Or any
kind of jacket. Not even my members only that is still pristine. Anyway, I am out there on the internet and I
delivered the bomb. Those stupid peons better pay attention. Their betters have
spoken.
32 comments:
The war between spinelli and Troop continues! I've got my popcorn.
I have lived all over the world. It’s not like I lived on one block all my life. I have traveled. I even know how to drive. A car. A boat. A golf ball. Everything except a nail. I hire Mexicans for that.
Bullseye!
That shark could have been satisfied with his full belly and his easy life being a big fish in the big pond, but he was born exceptionally big and hungry with an insatiable appetite for the smaller creatures around him, so he just kept killing and eating and shitting out a mess behind him that the other creatures had to clean up. He only saw the other creatures as meals, especially the stupid sucker fish who kept coming around lured in by his promises of protection and to show them how to be a big fat fish too, but when they got close, he'd just gobble them up without a second thought.
In the end, after all the other fish in his area were eaten, he started looking for new prey, and he found a new species of sucker fish and his technique worked like a charm again. These new sucker fish hated the other creatures anyway saying that they ate up all the easy pickings, and so they saw the big fat shark as a friend and ally, but in the end he just ate them up too, whispering to himself: "What the hell did they expect? I'm a big fat sucker-eating shark, and that's all I've ever been."
Oh yeah? I can drive a hard bargain, my sister crazy, my mum into the nut house, and my dad to an early grave, off a cliff, a wedge between two principals, around the bend, bat shit crazy, into the ground, a porcelain bus, and up a wall, to despair, through a restaurant, out of one's mind, into that type of outdoor theater, the prices up or down. And that's a lot of driving!
I'm not that great with a car. Cannot feel the pedals. So it's all mechanical feedback, erk, erk, erk, erk, erk, those are the brakes giving me feedback. Let's go for a ride. I'll show you how well I can drive.
I love meataphors.
Even fishsaphors.
We're all chums here, right?
Senator Jeff Sessions just endorsed Trump. I guess that makes him a sucker too.
Jeff Sessions is going to endorse Trump. That about does it for Cruz.
I don't know. Your comments are often fishy. But never fowl. Just sayn'
ricpic, are we synchronizing cycles?
I can't wait to hear the malarkey from the Rubio team about "Jeff Sessions." Who's he?
Sessions must be a klanner. He's from Alabama after all.
Mine's a metaphorical analogy wrapped in an allegorically symbolic parable.
Was there ever a parent who wasn't disappointed in their kid? That's why I went easy on my parents after I became - technically - an adult. I mean the s**t I had already put them through, now I was going to cop an attitude and add to their tsuris?
Jeff Session is obviously seduced by New York Values and the lure of Reality TV stardom.
" I guess that makes him a sucker too."
Yep.
Bernie Maddoff scammed some big time smarty pants out of everything too.
DSIDTY
Jeff Sessions is a patriot and a real American. The kind of politician that you can respect. The fact that he did not endorse Cruz who you would think is his soul mate tells you something.
Of course if you are devoted to facilitating the invasion of America and enabling the agenda of La Raza .....well of course you will scoff.
Everybody is a stupid fool except for those who feel there is nothing we can do to enforce our laws or protect our border. Those are the real smart guys. Yep. That's the ticket.
Brilliant. I love this line for some reason:
And three hours later a big fat Frank Luntz comes down and starts to pick us up. Tells us that we can still beat the Trump and the Trumplets
Trump, Trump, Trump, the boys are marching.
I want to be compassionate, but sometimes you just need to let people be themselves.
An epic fail is coming.
The epic fail that is coming will come regardless of who is put up for vote or who wins the election. What's coming is a course correction, of the kind that has happened throughout history with human "retardedness" appearing as the fly in the ointment, when it's really a feature rather than a bug. The smell in the air that is driving people to hold their noses is fear. Thankfully, human creativity, the other feature that also propels the world forward, can also be counted on to show up as a constant.
The compassionate position is to function in as much Truth and Grace as one can muster. Joke about it if you will, finding the balance between those two (Justice and Mercy in the Jewish tradition) is what ultimately leads to greater good and forms a meaningful legacy that extends beyond death.
I just hope that Trump has his own personal security. I hope he is not putting his faith in the Secret Service.
Nobody is arguing that the system is not broken. The question before us is whether a proven con man in charge is the best or even a reasonable solution or improvement to that.
Nobody is even arguing that the alternatives are great, but that does not change the question.
As I asked last night: would you bet a big part of your life savings on what this man is promising you? If so, you won't be the first. Good luck, mis amigos, because we are all being pulled along with you.
What's strange to me is that his children seem able to relate and connect with him with something that comes across looking like respect and affection. For an Old Egotistical Blow Hard to receive something like that from his off-spring while managing a company that employs twenty thousand plus workers says there something under all that hair besides lice, hot air and an empty suit.
You will never convince bags Mama. He's too worried that we are scaring the poor Mexicans.
"For an Old Egotistical Blow Hard to receive something like that from his off-spring while managing a company that employs twenty thousand plus workers says there something under all that hair besides lice, hot air and an empty suit."
It's called an inheritance, and they know their Dad. They've seen how he operates. He'll screw them out it in a second if they step out of line. They've seen how a big fat inheritance can make you a genius and cover up your failures.
You really are bitter man. It's not healthy buddy.
" He's too worried that we are scaring the poor Mexicans."
That's one of the few things I like about his campaign. I want them to go home and stay home too, and the only effective way will be to make them choose to, but I wouldn't shoot myself in the foot to scare off a bear. There are solutions and there is pandering.
You can see the strength of your thinking when you ignore the arguments and attack the person. I'm bitter, I'm self-interested, I'm a rich elitist, I'm out of touch. I'm part of the duopoly, I love the establishment. I'm in love with Cruz. Those are just guesses hoping to soothe your uneasiness and lingering doubts, but they are not arguments. Maybe I'm just offering something to consider, and you don't want to.
I am not attacking you Bags. But you gave up the game when you wrote about the poor Mexican who was justified in illegally coming into this country to get free stuff that all the rest of us have to pay for. You pile up your objections to Trump and tell us he is a crook and a failure. Many people don't agree with you. So you resort to personal invective against Trump and his supporters.
You don't live on a one way street buddy.
My stuff is based on known facts and sound reasoning. Tell me where it's not, or where I used something that's not true or not fair. We are not on the same street. You are on an emotional cul de sac, and you're driving way too fast to stop in time.
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