Sunday, April 19, 2015

Shhhh Go Fund, Clinton Secret Oppo Project

*whispers* Clinton Secret Oppo Project. Opposition against her, not for her.


How secret can it be?  Go Fund me, started by *whispers* Charles C. Johnson. That's the bit that's circled up there, his name. Someone else did that. Originally I thought it is the Little Green Footballs guy, but this is a different *whispers* Charles Johnson. For a little secret opposition description, here's Gawker's take on this here Charles Johnson. Buggers, I forgot to whisper.

Presently it's up to $635.00 accrued from 21 people in two days. $30.00 a piece. Not bad. The goal is a meager $40,000.

Cute. The thing is any number of Clinton's own opposition research operation resisting his opposition can write a check for Johnson's total amount and more on a whim and not even feel it. Johnson anxiously provides a long meandering proposal and ersatz prospectus but doesn't say anything. 
I need $40,000 to hire private eyes, pick up the material, run the requisite stupidly expensive tests, and produce a high production quality video. 
And.
Yes, this is vague (because we don’t want to tip off the Clintons to what we’re up to) and no, it's not illegal. (I checked with five different lawyers.) 
Now that’s a lot of money—
Charles you're silly. And it is not a lot of money. But the thing I really want to get across is you cannot just take a photo and apply an oil paint filter to it. The filter doesn't know where the brush strokes go.

Here. Like this. I'll do this as we go.


Random Hillary Photo nicked form Google Images and cropped severely.


Filters from Photoshop menu, Oil Paint from Filter menu.  


This new window opens on top of all the other windows. The sliders are moved to adjust the effects this way and that until you manage something approximate to oil painting. 


Or does it?

It just randomly makes brush mark distortions. Anyone who has painted knows that doesn't work. The marks will run with the apples of the cheeks, with the plumpness of the lips, in agreement with the lines on the forehead and around the eyes. Think of Vincent Van Gogh where every single thick daub of paint conveys some effect of light. As if finger-painted. It doesn't have to be refined but the movement of the brush strokes must make sense. Otherwise you have a mess.

Let's take the same original and smudge it around with smudge tool as if we were painting, just push color around a little bit all over and see if that makes a better oil painting. Nothing fancy, no tiny brushes, nothing tedious but this is the First Lady you know, we cannot just go completely jacking around, but even with smudges as kindergarden children we can do better than Photoshop's own oil painting filter.



2 comments:

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

The original, but nixed, trailer for Star Trek TOS was the one where the big skull Talosian guys can make humans see stuff that isn't there. Pretty good episode. Big ideas.

But it failed to stick the landing, big time. The shocker at the end is when we find out that the stunningly gorgeous Earth chick isn't really stunningly gorgeous. She's in reality all hunchy and lumpy and misshapen because the Talosians had to repair her when she was an infant and they hadn't run across humans before.

Dumb. The Talosians are humanoid, and symmetrical, themselves. Again, dumb. Mega dumb. A dumb of galactic proportions.

But here's the kicker: In real life they all do end up ugly, eventually. So I guess it's one of those poetically truthy arty kind of things. Know what I'm saying? I think that you do.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

I'll support anything anti-Hillary.
She's pure evil.
A-chew