Tuesday, May 20, 2014

NYT: a little soul-searching

The worst part of it is, I’m burning stuff not for heat, but for aesthetics,” said Ryan Matzner, 29, whose West Village apartment has enormous stacks of firewood on either side of a white brick fireplace. “It’s like, ‘Wait, this is actually pretty hypocritical.’ It’s very similar to the idea of a cork in a wine bottle instead of a screw top.” He added that it was an “aesthetic kind of thing that’s purely for the sake of tradition.”
 
 

These reflections have not stopped Mr. Matzner from building fires when he throws parties, when he wants to make s’mores or when he wants to impress a lady. But he often uses the clean-burning Duraflame logs, not, he admits, so much out of eco-guilt, but because they burn more quickly and less smokily. (read more)

230 comments:

1 – 200 of 230   Newer›   Newest»
Eric the Fruit Bat said...

That's something I often wonder about.

Back in the colonial days, cities like Boston or New York or Philadelphia -- where the winters get way fucking cold -- there must have been an army of guys who brought firewood in from the surrounding woods and they weren't using chainsaws, hydraulic splitters and pickup trucks.

Stuff like that never seems to make it into the history books.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs where these guys down South were using a mule team to haul big-ass logs out of the woods without disturbing the surrounding trees too much.

I don't know how dirty a job that is but it's certainly not a line of work for the frail.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

The intertubes informs me that the mules were named Maddie and Maude.

That's nice.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I want all of these people to just die.

Thank you.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

There was an episode of Dirty Jobes where these window washer rapelled off the roof of some big-ass skyscraper in Hawaii.

Beautiful blue sky. Puffy white clouds. Not dirty at all.

Well, not unless your rope snaps.

Or you shit yourself.

Mumpsimus said...

Apparently the Urban Lumberjack look isn't quite over yet.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Maddie and Maude and friend.

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

Dust Bunny Queen said...
I want all of these people to just die.


Do you ever ask yourself why you feel this way?

bagoh20 said...

I burn lots of wood unnecessarily in my 3 fireplaces. I do it for aesthetics and to make it warmer. I want my house warmer, my patio warmer, and my climate warmer. It can also heat up the romance pretty effectively.

Calypso Facto said...

Fen's Law

Darcy said...

I'm looking forward to DBQ's response to you, Reasonable Man.

Mine would be:

Because he's an Eco-Religionist whose religion, collectively with the influence of other members of his vast cult, has no doubt interfered with my freedom and my cost of living. And now he is outrageously flaunting his hypocrisy at his refusal to, for "asthetic" reasons, abide by his religion as he would demand others to abide by force of law.

One bit of good news may be that these types aren't creating many offspring.

Natural selection.

edutcher said...

He got it from his parents.

When the gloss of hippie life wore off, they all came back to Daddy and followed him into the risk arbitrage biz.

I want all of these people to just die.

Do you ever ask yourself why you feel this way?


Sick of the pretentiousness and the hypocrisy?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Do you ever ask yourself why you feel this way?

Bascially....exactly what Synova has said.

I couldn't say it better. Or I would likely use more profanity.

They hypocrisy and smugness of these people who want to tell everyone else what to do, how to live in minute detail, increase "our" costs of living, by imposing one size fits all arbitrary rules.....and then deciding that he and his ilk don't really have to abide by those laws because somehow they are esthetically special.

ricpic said...

Since turnabout's fair, why does it NOT bother you, ARM?

Mitch H. said...

Same reason militant atheists go into conniptions at the prospect of Swaggart-style televangelists: that foul combination of "fanaticism whose tenets you find offensive" and rampant hypocrisy. It's enraging.

Not that I want this guy to die - it's more irritating than any sort of cause for going amok.

Amartel said...

Have a fire. Don't have a fire. Whatever.
However.
The ironic moosehead is annoying.

Synova said...

That was Darcy. ;)

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

The evolutionary psychology guy disagrees with what he calls the "social sciences model," and the tabula rosa thing, by which organized warfare did not exist until the invention of agriculture.

He said that raiding warfare is the way of the common chimpanzee (not the bonobo) and hunter/gathering peoples that exist to this very day. There's archaeological evidence that predates civilization like weapons and human bones that have been butchered, skulls that have been pierced or smashed.

Anyway, the point (usually unconscious) of raiding warfare is to wipe out opposing gene pools. There is no discrimination. Anyone who belongs to the other group is a valid target when it comes to raiding warfare.

He also talked about how we've got a nearly irresistible urge to punish cheaters and that hatred is the incentive to action. It came in handy during the vast period of subsistence living during which our species evolved.

I might not be remembering all that so perfectly but you get the idea.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Dirty Jobes?

Chip S. said...

I thought the main function of a fireplace in an apt. was to mount your tv on. But this guy's using a goddam nightstand for that.

I'm not sure it's death-penalty worthy, but def. a hipster doofus fail.

Leland said...

Agree with Darcy, particularly the last line supporting DBQ's hopes and desires.

Don't agree with Eric... "Window Washers", nothing dirty about the job? They pay people to wash clean things? I'm not sure about the economics of it, unless they work for the EPA.

Leland said...

Chip, it looks like his TV is on a dresser.

Note the picture behind him. It is fitting. Rather than swim in the natural body of water, people built a pool that floats on the natural body of water, because in their mind a floating pool with chlorine is less a contaminant to nature than the human body.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

By the way, perhaps I should add that a lot of that evolutionary psychology stuff seems kind of circular to me.

I mean, we are the way we are, we evolved, therefore we evolved to be the way we are. Something like that.

That doesn't mean necessarily that it's all bunk.

I thought it interesting when he was talking about the co-evolution of mental modules, which helps explain things like schizophrenics hearing voices, and how mentally healthy people can still be of "two minds" on something.

I mean, think about it. When you're anxious about something, and you tell yourself to relax because there's nothing to worry about . . . who the hell are you talking to?

And why won't they listen?

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I think his larger point was that we are not undifferentiated "individuals."

Each person contains a whole bunch of systems that evolved together, in some ways, and separately, in some ways.

Interesting stuff.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@ Synova

Ooops. Not enough coffee evidently. I didn't mean to put words in your mouth. I appologize

Chip S. said...

In the matter of hypocrisy, I'm w/ Rochefoucauld--it's the homage vice pays to virtue. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world, except among politicians, for whom it's a strong signal of their general untrustworthiness.

There's no evidence in the article that this guy is an enviro high priest, or even a mid-level functionary in the Church of the Enviroment. To me, he just seems like a typical dude who's been taught the green religion his whole life, and is admitting to being a sinner.

Rather than denounce him, if I thought he was reading this, I'd try to use it as a Teachable Moment™, and invite him to contemplate all the similar tradeoffs other people make every day, and how that should be a guide to finding the proper balance b/w environmental destruction and monastic human existence.

Darcy said...

And Chip S. saves the dude from death row! Well done. :)

I mean it. And I like Chip's use of "sinner" here. Apt.

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

ricpic said...
Since turnabout's fair, why does it NOT bother you, ARM?


I'm a reasonable, and tolerant, man and don't see existential threats in alternate life styles.

Trooper York said...

Actually you don't have a problem with liberal hypocrisy. Only conservative.

Fen's law.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I'm a reasonable, and tolerant, man and don't see existential threats in alternate life styles.

I don't either. As long as they leave me the hell alone. But...nooooo. They must tell everyone what to do.

That is why I am so very resentful and angry about those who insist on imposing their personal wants and ways of living on everyone else.

Insisting that everyone must do as they say.....and then....exempting themselves from the rules that they cram down our throats.

Prime example is the environmental Nazis who live in the elite areas of California. They determined that the logging industry should die. Kill the industry and put people out of work. Destroy whole towns and lives of thousands. YET. Most of them gladly and smugly sit on their custom made Redwood decks at home or enjoy the rustic decor in their upscale holistic natural foods fusion restaurants.

Hypocrites.

Rabel said...

As a general rule it's wrong to wish ill on people who are different than you.

However, there is an exception to every rule.

Mitch H. said...

I always thought the "Reasonable" thing was partisan irony. You mean it sincerely? You have remarkably poor self-awareness, ARM.

Me, I'm an irrational ape, like the rest of you. "Know thyself".

edutcher said...

I'm a reasonable, and tolerant, man

There is debate on both those points.

TrooperYork said...

Here is an example. ARM is one of the most prominent villages with the pitchfork and torches chasing that evil Donald Sterling. On the other hand Jay Z friend of Obama and Oprah and the Crack Emcee has parties where white people were banned while he was an owner of the NBA.

I don't hear anyone saying anything about that. I wonder why.

Oh I know.

Fen's Law.

TrooperYork said...

Now look at the NY Times which is all about the "War on Women" firing their editor because she complained that she was making a lot less than a man in the same position.

Pass the popcorn.

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

bagoh20 said...
I burn lots of wood unnecessarily in my 3 fireplaces. I do it for aesthetics and to make it warmer. I want my house warmer, my patio warmer, and my climate warmer. It can also heat up the romance pretty effectively.


I am surprised that both NYC and LA allow fireplaces. I have lived in places with less pollution that don't allow fires.

I didn't think the guy was being particularly dickish, he seemed to have much the same attitude as Bags. It is unfortunate and a little odd that conservation of the environment has become such a partisan issue, since maintenance of what we have is generally a conservative impulse. It reflects something of a split between business interests (growth, growth, growth) and at least one style of conservative ideology.

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

Jim Dolan said...
Here is an example. ARM is one of the most prominent villages with the pitchfork and torches chasing that evil Donald Sterling. On the other hand Jay Z friend of Obama and Oprah and the Crack Emcee has parties where white people were banned while he was an owner of the NBA.


Far be it from me to tell Jim Dolan his business but Jay Z has never owned a basketball team. I think his stake was less than 1%. He's rich but not Russian oligarch rich.

TrooperYork said...

One of the most basic human activities is sitting in front of a fire. It has been so since the beginning of time.

You sentence "I am surprised that both NYC and LA allow fireplaces" is very telling. Why do you think the government should be able to tell you if you can have a fireplace in your own home? What kind of place bans that? Cuba? China? Wisconsin?

TrooperYork said...

Sure he owned part of the Nets. A 1% ownership is still ownership. He was the front man who romanced the players instead of the Russian Mafia guy.

But of course it doesn't matter how much he owns. It is the fact that the NBA has no problem with him. That is the hypocrisy. But I understand why you don't care.

TrooperYork said...

I am sure when Magic helps steal the Clippers he will get less then a five percent share.

He is in the same front man spot as Jay Z was for the Nets.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

I want him to die because he probably voted for Obama.

Different strokes for different folks I guess.

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

President-Mom-Jeans said...
I want him to die because he probably voted for Obama.


See, this is the difference. I don't want you to die, even though you would have probably voted for Hitler.

Yours is a very similar impulse to the left wing nuts who protested against the commencement speakers.


Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

Jim Dolan said...
Now look at the NY Times which is all about the "War on Women" firing their editor because she complained that she was making a lot less than a man in the same position.


I feel awkward saying this but you sound a bit like Althouse at the moment.

Chip Ahoy said...

Ultimately fireplaces are pains in the beutox.

For my house, I got a great deal on firewood. The forest was damaged by those beetles so clearing was allowed to help save the uninfected ones. Cut and split and stacked the pile took up the whole side of the house to six feet tall.

And then after a while, a few months, while taking out the trash bins to the street, tiny barely perceptible sounds. Little bitty munchy munch munch sounds within the log pile. A piece of bark peeled right off revealing curvy trails underneath between wood and bark. Interesting patterns of trail left by the insects.

This called for action.

Covered the pile with a tarp and gassed the whole lot and that put an end to that. Better living through chemistry.

Ultimately the fireplace was not used all that much. Cleaning it is a drag. And the fireplace at my parents not used at all. I don't know what my dad's problem was, it sure was not environmentalism. His reason unsatisfactory but he stuck with it. Backdraft in high wind he said, a problem easily sorted, he just didn't want fire in the house and there went all the fireplace fun. It was purely decoration with fireplace implements and a place to put crap on the mantle.

He said, "See that owl over there? Well, I like that owl." I thought, "good, because I made that owl and painted it." He forgot where it came from. Just a place to put crap on the mantle.

Unknown said...

I'm a good and proper person who warms the home with a gas fireplace. natural gas comes from fracking.

Fracking. A beautiful rose.

Chip Ahoy said...

But now the fireplaces come with a remote control. The first models had a control has a single button. Push the button whomp fire. It's fun to turn on.

on whomp off
on whomp off
on whomp off
on whomp off
on whomp off

Just for the fun of it. But now I suppose they have controls for intensity too. And the logs made of concrete or something really do look real. Total fake out. They do a great job with those gas fireplaces.

TrooperYork said...

Don't feel awkward buddy. Even a blind pig finds an acorn every now and then.

I don't actually believe that happened. I am just using that situation in an ironic manner to score cheap political points.

Haven't you played this game before?

TrooperYork said...

Just remember Lem's rules.

Keep it common Law.

Unknown said...

So alternative lifestyles now include good and proper liberals who admit their guilt in writing in public about their man made global warming hypocrisy.

Cool.

TrooperYork said...

But you forgot that he likes to stick the wood up his kiester before he burns it. That's where the alternative lifestyle thingy comes in.

TrooperYork said...

Please be more tolerant.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Godwin alert.

What a well reasoned argument, since I dislike Obama and the libtard douchebags like you who put him into office, I "probably" would have voted for Hitler.

I guess since I am an American citizen who wasn't born until well into the Reagan years, we will never know huh?

And my "thoughtcrime" is exactly like taking actions to shout down speakers. Exactly.

Coming from the douchenozzle who sees no problem in cities preventing citizens from having a wood burning fireplace in their home.

You sanctimonious twat.

Meade said...

"According to the Environmental Protection Department, each wood-burning fireplace produces 6,200 grams of particulate matter — the tiny particles that can aggravate heart and respiratory diseases, like asthma — a year. Natural gas fireplaces produce 23 grams a year."

6,200 grams of particulate matter is a lot of particulate matter. Especially if it's upwind and near where Jim Dolan sleeps and breathes. In fact, this guy's particulate matter could be directly partly responsible for Jim's heart disease. And I don't want Jim Dolan to just die.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

What are you doing here, lawn bitch?

Nobody said you or your mealticket's name three time so you can appear like an uneducated mooching off an old woman version of Beetlejuice.

What gives? Slow day in the world of grubs and lawn clippings?

Did Ann cut your allowance again?

Amartel said...

AGW skeptics should be IMPRISONED

AReasonableHack: The FATE OF THE WORLD [dramatic finger point] LIES in the BALANCE buh buh what about the lack of prison space?

O'Blamer: Oh, fine, I have to come up with EVERYTHING.
Ponder, ponder, ponder.
(Side Note for Posterity: Scientists and journalists are such losers. What the world really needs is more Community Organizers. LIKE ME!!)
Okay, here goes:
We shall audit them, we shall regulate them, we shall boycott them, we shall lie to them, we shall lie about them, we shall lie repeatedly until truth seems relative, we shall invent a curriculum of lies and call it "education," then we'll animate it, set it to music and call it "entertainment," we shall out them, we shall omit them, we shall spy on their phone calls, emails, snapchats, Facebooks, Yearbooks, accounting books, Twitter, Texts and talks, we shall cut off their funding, we shall cut off their life support (oops, sorry vets, you chose poorly HAHA), we shall heckle and nudge and bother and harass and shame and blame and game everyone.
And siphon off tons of sweet sweet tax dollars in the process.

But don't jokingly wish death on us because THAT'S MEAN AND HYPOCRITICAL. Now see what you've done: You've made me cry.

Shouting Thomas said...

I absolutely hated the term "alternate lifestyles."

Anybody who says it should be forced to listen to Meade and read the shit he writes.

I know... cruel and unusual punishment!

AllenS said...

AllenS uses wood. Check out the background of the picture of the Jeep tub with a coat of paint and a coat of clear coat.

Smell my particulate matter


Darcy said...

LOL, Allen.

Nice color!

I'm Full of Soup said...

The reporter quotes the Enviro Protection Department ? Is there such a thing? I thought it was "agency" not department.

AllenS said...

Poppy Red, Darcy. A 1965 Ford Mustang color. In 1965 I (had someone) paint my 1958 Chevy Impala convertible this color after I did a bunch of body work.

WOOT!

Chip S. said...

The reporter quotes the Enviro Protection Department ? Is there such a thing?

Yes.

I think it's where Ed Norton used to work.

Rabel said...

"I thought it was "agency" not department."

Reference is to the New York State department. But it's a meaningless stat as presented.

Rabel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rabel said...

Current Air Quality Indices:

New York City - 37 "good"
Madison, Wisc - 54 "moderate"

Time to tend the garden in the worker's paradise.

updated

TrooperYork said...

You know what a wood burning fire smells like:

"FFFRRREEEEEDDDDDOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!"

AllenS said...

Make sure you take a close look at the floor in the picture. AllenS poured that floor from his Rock and Roll aggregate container, 10 foot by 10 foot at a time until the 30 foot by 70 foot pole barn cement floor was completed.

A man has to know his limitations, unless he doesn't have any.

I'm Full of Soup said...

"Hey Ralphie Boy how you doing " is what I hear when I think of Ed Norton.

AllenS said...

No man ever died smelling wood burning. Period.

TrooperYork said...

Some people can not abide the smell of freedom.

They prefer dog shit.

I'm Full of Soup said...

If we followed this enviro religion to the tee, we'd have to ban all superfluous activities. Try and picture NYC with no MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL, college sports, no Broadway, no visiting vacationers so no crowds of people on the streets watching the Today Show, no pleasure trips on airplanes [hear that Bloomberg?] no leisurely dining out, no vacation homes [one home of very limited size is enough] no ice skating at Rockefeller Center, no printed copies of the NY Times, and only limited access to the internet due to limits on energy generation. This is just a start.

I'm Full of Soup said...

AllenS- you won't need an orange vest if you take that jeep out when you go hunting!

TrooperYork said...

I vote for no NY Times. That sounds about right.

ndspinelli said...

Burn, baby burn!

bagoh20 said...

" ...each wood-burning fireplace produces 6,200 grams of particulate matter — the tiny particles that can aggravate heart and respiratory diseases, like asthma..."

Yes, and I find that entirely inadequate, which is why I also burn incense, candles, and cigars in close proximity to my delicate body. I sand wood, and drywall, and play in fields of dirt. I take showers in clouds of Chlorine and I drive cars, motorcycles and bicycles in traffic full of dust and particulates. I'm a wild and crazy guy, a risk taker, a rogue insane man who obviously sees no limits or barriers and doesn't give a shit. I will burn down this whole damned planet if I have to. I do this specifically because people think they can tell me not to while martyring themselves on long jet travel to exotic locations where they watch people burn all manner of shit to survive.

An estimated 8000 people die every year from airliner emissions. I contribute to that too. I'll quit when they do, and I'm pretty sure I'll never have to make that sacrifice.

TrooperYork said...

What I would like to do is ban bottles of wine that cost more than $100 a bottle. Anything over that price goes directly to the government to pay for cheese or something.

Bet Bloomberg and De Blasio won't get behind that. Or the douches on the NY Times editorial board. But they have no problem banning a big glass of soda.

Fen's Law.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Ultimately fireplaces are pains in the beutox.

This I agree with. I've lived in houses where a wood burning stove (not fireplace) was the ONLY source of heat. A real pain in the rear. You always had to make sure you had kindling. Pine and Juniper to start the fire and seasoned Oak to continue the fire all day so when you got home from work there were still coals to add more Oak for the rest of the night. With any luck the fire didn't go out for months. Bugs, bark, ashes. What a lot of work.

Our house now is natural gas with a wood stove for back up purposes. We are lucky since most people are propane or wood only.

Air pollution is not a concern at all here due to the prevailing winds that sweep the area clear and the fact that, in general, in this area of the State we are looking at an average of 10 people per square mile. Forest fires that the USFS refuses to attempt to put out pollute much much more than all of our wood stoves.

6,200 grams of particulate matter is a lot of particulate matter A year. That is nothing. Miniscule. It also depends on what kind of fireplace/wood stove you have. Many are quite efficient. If you want to worry about particulates....get all over China's ass about it.

Even so....I don't tell you what kind of lawn equipment to use. Don't tell us what kind of heat we should have in our houses. I don't tell the people in NYC or LA or SF how to live. They can just butt out and mind their own business. In fact....stay there....please :-)

AllenS said...

More people die in this country from the gas out of Al Gore's ass, than anything that comes from a wood burning stove.

TrooperYork said...

I personally think we should burn environmentalists for fuel in the winter.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I personally think we should burn environmentalists for fuel in the winter.

I think that they would make better compost.

I'm Full of Soup said...

Burn or compost tree huggers?

It may come to that if the next few winters are as cold as the last one.

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

Full Disclosure - I use my very primitive fireplace on occasion. But I don't live in a heavily polluted area. My mother used to burn trash in an incinerator until that was banned. Somehow we struggled on under the oppressive jackboot of the man, sans incinerator.

The Dude said...

I have saved up several tons of branches, chips, chunks and assorted pieces of wood for a couple of months. I am going to burn it all this weekend. Might even start the fire using gasoline - that creates a nice column of black smoke - oh yeah!

My goal is for the particulate matter to fall as acid rain in Sweden. Fuck those socialist idiots.

Meade said...

The article says that a 7 year-old boy in Queens died earlier this year when a spark from a wood-burning fireplace without a screen ignited a fire.

Now I'm aware that not everyone here values the sanctity of all human life, from conception to natural death. An example would be Dust Bunny Queen who expressed her desire for "these people" who are smug and hypocritical to just die because they "tell everyone what to do".

But just as Jim Dolan is a genetically distinct human, so was that 7 year-old boy and so are "these people... who tell everyone what to do".

Personally, I want them all to live until their natural deaths occur, not until the Dust Bunnies of the world wish them to die as early as possible.

AllenS said...

Some day, Meade, there will be a story (if there isn't one already) of dog shit being responsible for a child's death. Then what?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I personally think we should burn environmentalists for fuel in the winter.

Here is the great thing about wood burning for heating. The fuel is renewable and when there are higher levels of CO2 in the air plants, that includes trees you guys, do very well and grow even faster than ever. You don't have to frack to get wood.

Wood chips are a waste product of many things you use every day, (think toilet paper) and are fabulous for burning to generate heat, electricity and steam to warm up commercial green houses and infuse the air with extra CO2 for that growth burst. We have two facilities like this in our neighborhood. Our neighborhood is about 200 square miles. If not burnt, then ground up and used as compost or ground cover.

You would think all of those enviro nutjobs would be promoting this renewable and useful fuel.

Meade said...

Dust Bunny Queen wants to tell everyone in New York what to do: burn wood.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

The article says that a 7 year-old boy in Queens died earlier this year when a spark from a wood-burning fireplace without a screen ignited a fire.

I can't help it if people are stupid. Use a screen dummies.

That doesn't mean that the rest of us should have to live by the rules made for a few stupids.

Personally, I want them all to live until their natural deaths occur, not until the Dust Bunnies of the world wish them to die as early as possible.

It seems that death by stupidity is a natural death. This is the rule of Darwin.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Ah, so Unreasonable Bitch is a woodfire hypocrite.

And lawn bitch brings up a "for the children" please that has fuck all to do with word burning. A lot more 7 year olds die in NYC from automobiles than improperly maintained wood fires.

I would like to modify my earlier statement however. I want to clarify that I want Obama voters to die in wood fires. With proper screening to protect 7 year olds of course.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Dust Bunny Queen wants to tell everyone in New York what to do: burn wood.

I don't care what the people in NY do. They can mostly pound sand for all I care. (Trooper and Lisa and some other excepted of course)

I don't want people making decisions for ME.

TrooperYork said...

The Indians used to burn buffalo shit for fuel. I bet you can do the same with dog shit.

Hey there is a perfectly appropriate business opportunity for someone to start up a new eco-friendly business.

Hop to it Larry. You are the King of Dog Shit after all.

Meade said...

Dust Bunny, why is it stupid for the self-governing people of New York to decide how they want to live even if that means without burning wood so that people with diseased hearts like Jim Dolan to die unnaturally? You live somewhere out west. And yet you want people in NY to die.

TrooperYork said...

Plus people are killed by dogs all the time. So if just one kid is killed by a dog to use Leisure Suit Larry's theory we should ban all dogs.

I sincerely hope they don't do that. What would he do with his time?

Beloved Commenter AReasonableMan said...

One frustrating thing about US politics is the absence of any significant small parties. If we had a Green Party and a true nativist party they could form a natural alliance to limit immigration and environmental destruction. Such an alliance would be strongly opposed by business interests but I would vote for it. Unfortunately our only two parties are both largely captured by the same small set of pro-growth interests.

AllenS said...

Only a fool would burn dog shit. Most people who don't actually own a dog, step in it daily.

TrooperYork said...

The guy you are looking for ARM is Rand Paul.

And don't kid us. You would never vote for a Nativist party.

Meade said...

If the people of New York want to ban dogs, they should be free to do so.

Chip S. said...

You know who was really anti-freedom? The British Conservative Party, which had a 60-seat majority in Parliament when the Clean Air Act of 1956 was passed. Fuckin' Nazis.

Saying that it doesn't matter what fuels anyone burns in any amount in an urban area is just as stupid as making fireplaces illegal because one kid's parents were so dumb they didn't use a fireplace screen.

The obvious thing to do is for NYC to put a tax on firewood, and earmark the money for a Widows and Orphans of Firefighters fund.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

...a wood-burning fireplace without a screen ignited a fire.

Without a screen. To Me, without knowing much else about the tragedy, it sounds like someone screwed up.

Meade comes from the 'If it would only save one life! wouldn't it be worth it. mentality. (insert mind-numbing oppressive nanny state law
That very mentality is behind the oppressive government we have now.

btw- It really pisses me off when the nanny-fem robot voice tells me to fasten my seat belt in my own car. If it would only save one life!
F.U.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

The EPA wants to ban or make wood stoves so expensive that people who rely on them for heat would not be able to use them or even sell their homes if they contained one. Not just the hipster type who use wood stoves for ambiance and to get laid, but people who need this type of heat.

"It's just another way for them to control my life and lifestyle and basically force me to pay more for just survival," Woods said

Just one example of government deciding for everyone based on the crackpot ideas of a few.

self-governing people of New York to decide how they want to live

I don't see where this went to the people for a vote. It may just be NYC right now....soon all of the State. Decisions by fiat.

The issue is, the hypocrisy of those who espouse these ideals, don't live by them and then impose them on everyone who isn't wealthy enough to get around the laws.

The Dude said...

This is a dog shit thread.

Lydia said...

The SF Bay Area issues “Spare the Air” alerts during the winter on nights when particulates from wood burning become trapped in stagnant air masses. That sounds like the way to go to me.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Larry the moocher and Unreasonable Bitch want the government out of your bedrooms and into your fireplaces.

ndspinelli said...

Comments are WAY down @ TOP. If they only knew how to make friends this dogshit would not occur. Are there narcissist match websites. Can we just pitch in and get a hooker for this loser? I'm good for $50.

Amartel said...

"nanny-fem robot voice tells me to fasten my seat belt in my own car"

Can be disconnected/deactivated. Consult driver's manual for your vehicle.

The Dude said...

Nanny-fem voice? Nah, that's just Larry telling us what to do.

TrooperYork said...

Nobody voted for no fireplaces. Nobody voted for no horse carriages.
Nobody voted for small cups.

We did vote for term limits. But the politicians just ignored that and the courts backed them up.

Votes don't mean shit anymore.

AllenS said...

Meade said...
If the people of New York want to ban dogs, they should be free to do so.

Probably one of the most dumbest statements ever made.

Dad Bones said...

@AllenS I wish I hadn't seen your shop picture. Now I feel like I should put a wood burner in my garage so I can work out there when it's cold.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Some people can not abide the smell of freedom.

They prefer dog shit.


Freedom, to me, smells like a city with the good sense to fine dog-shit vandals at least $300 per turd left undisposed of. Do the dogs complain about their loss of freedom for this? Do the owners?

Freedom to me smells like living among people who don't leave their refuse in my space, even if it's high-tech science-y refuse. Freedom smells like people who don't get off on refusing to keep their nuisances to themselves.

I'm starting to wonder if cons have this need to feel imposed upon to the point where they're prevented from having any say over being violated naturally. Pennies to the thousands of dollars to them is an economic violation, and a religiously neutral republic is an ideological violation, but being physically violated is something they seem to feel is an important part of life.

Aridog said...

Just about to say some thing here, but then I heard this from the great one running off at teh mouth about NYC.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

The SF Bay Area issues “Spare the Air” alerts during the winter on nights when particulates from wood burning become trapped in stagnant air masses. That sounds like the way to go to me.

It's a pretty wealthy place, too - so you'd think that form of "authority" would speak loudly to cons.

Myself, I know that when I go there the natural beauty of the land and sea and cleanliness of the air is phenomenal. It feels healthy being out there. (And is). Their state had to do a lot to make sure the smog trapping geography wasn't exacerbated, and the result is Honda making ULEVs and Elon Musk kicking just about everyone's ass here on his ventures. (And contributing to his state's fortunes. Who here is doing anything like that).

All I hear here is cons whining about their right to make you dirty.

A little wood fire smells good. I doubt hickory-smoking or cherry-smoking your meat is going to do much to raise global CO2 emissions, but that's because I respect math and priorities. I take the same approach to the budget. Stop whining about poorly contributing trifles and focus on the big things. Except in places where they do make a difference.

But yes, it's interesting to see no one from S.F. on this thread lecturing the greatest earners and innovators and greatest enjoyers of natural beauty in America on threats to personal and economic liberty. We truly harbor mice that roar here, on Comment Home.

TrooperYork said...

Overregulation is never a problem until it is something you like to do.

I remember when Giuliani came in and all the neighborhood guys were all happy how he was getting tough on the squgee guys and the homeless guys and the welfare people. They were all happy and puffing out their chests that they were finally going to take care of "those people."

Of course then he passed a law that if you got a DUI they confiscated your car. Five guys had it happen to them the first month. Man they hated him then.

So if they outlaw or tax skinny jeans, Pabst blue ribbon and pointless verbosity then we know Ritmo will get pissed. Just sayn'

Aridog said...

R & B said ...

Freedom, to me, smells like a city with the good sense to fine dog-shit vandals at least $300 per turd left indisposed of...
Freedom to me smells like living among people who don't leave their refuse in my space, even if it's high-tech science-y refuse. Freedom smells like people who don't get off on refusing to keep their nuisances to themselves.


Holy crap...I am in agreement with R & B!

Part of caring for animals is to clean up after them immediately. Not doing so means you are an arrogant schmuck asshole who needs a thumping.

The answer is not banning animals, it is punishing idiot owners who don't care for their animals. It isn't hard to do...been doing it for some 60 years now.

TrooperYork said...

Or you can be lucky enough to live in a city where underemployed houseboys spend their free time picking up the dog shit.

It's a win/win.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

London's cleaner than Philly, and has way more people. Probably a good bit cleaner than New Amsterdam, too.

Some people just like dirt. I think that's fine - just keep it to yourself. Under your fingernails, on your backside, in your own backyard - just away from me and out of the fucking public space, including common air and water resources.

It shouldn't be hard, people.

Aridog said...

R&B you said...

Who here is doing anything like that?

Uh, I think you have missed a commenter or two here about.

And I will clap for Elon Musk when his cars sell for a price the ordinary man can afford and without federal subsidy.

He builds a mini-van similar to a Chrysler Town & Country with his technology and sells it subsidy free for $50K, I will buy it immediately.

Meantime he is a bright guy dependent upon federal largess...kind of like an EBT or SNAP dole for rich folks.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Well, he can tax skinny jeans and PBR, anyway.

A gf had me buy some "tight" jeans (but not douchily so in the cuffs), mostly to happily ogle at my junk more easily. If it's not the worst taste I'm up for the fun of that. It was a different look from the hipster crap but still a bad move.

I had to dump her ass in less than a year.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

TIght pants was what cause the death of Jim Morrison.

Aridog said...

JIm...as long as somebody picks it up, with pay by the owner, it is definitely win/win. Me, I pick up my own dog shit...I guess I'm not helping the underemployed. Or something...pbbffftt.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Towing a car is more surreptitious than just jacking up the rates like Bloomberg did. At the end of the day, Rudy probably did that for the same reasons.

But Bloomberg also planted trees and got more bikes on the road. Also good things.

People, no one wants to tour cities as fouled up as Beijing and Shanghai. Sure those places get tourists, but mayors (in free countries, at least) are trying to do what they can to clean and green the places up. It's nonsensical to believe that doesn't help them compete for the tourist dollar. Come on. The wife and kids don't want to visit sewers, smog, or any of that stuff when it comes down to the final click on the Expedia page.

TrooperYork said...

I agree Ari we should all clean up our own dog doo doo. But some people have a lot more free time since comment levels have dropped so precipitously that they spend a lot less time moderating so they have time to roam the streets to pick up unaccounted for dog feces.

We should encourage such robust good citizenship.

TrooperYork said...

The current mayor is doing all he can to kill tourism. The carriage rides in Central Park are a big tourist attraction. But he is killing it because one of his major contributors wants the real estate where the horses are stabled. It is right next to the Javits Convention Center on the West Side. It was a crooked political deal that harmed tourism.

De Blasio could give a shit about tourism. Or the city for that matter. He just wants to impose his far, far left agenda.

Meade said...

Did anyone else read the article Lem linked to? It's about New York City. 95% of new fireplace sales are for natural gas. Freer market — cleaner air.

Something tells me, for the most part, Jim Dolan was the biggest cause of his own heart disease. Personal irresponsibility, disrespect for sanctity of all life, hating women, gays, anyone who doesn't share his religion, and puppies.

Meade said...

"De Blasio could give a shit about tourism. Or the city for that matter. He just wants to impose his far, far left agenda."

When do you vote with your feet and move?

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

See, while you guys are jerking around about the right to pollute, I'm focusing on some of the big issues facing America and real Americans.

Like invisible pussies, for instance.

Now, the concept is obvious, right? A woman might just have what looks like regular skin there (and, let's face it, some hair also), but instead of just an enraptured expanse of skin covering her crotch, she'd have an invisible pussy. Her pussy wouldn't be visible to the naked eye.

Now just think of how cool that would be. You would have no way of ruining the surprise and visually coming about gauging how tight it would be. You would just have to feel and try it out for yourself.

I betcha none of you thought of this.

I, OTOH, am happy to be solving some of the real problems for America. Everyday, commonsense solutions for ordinary Americans with ordinary problems.

Onward, progressives.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Um, I meant to say "un-ruptured" there but auto correct got in the way.

Damn you autocorrect.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Wonder Woman had an invisible plane.

I think the least we could do to return the favor is to invent invisible pussies.

Barbie had an invisible pussy - but it was also not there. I mean it would look like the Barbie pussy but you could actually feel something, (that something would be a vagina) there, instead.

Think of all the girls in porn who would now come to you, instead of just getting paid to have you ogle them online.

THis would solve one of the great riddles of human existence.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

A lot of women (I'm not sure whether or not they're feminizis) claim to hate the way their vagina looks.

Think of all the psychological pain you could spare them by making those things invisible.

Life is to be felt, not looked at.

Meade said...

"I betcha none of you thought of this."

No one who loves pussy could possibly think of that.

Titus said...

let's all give a beautiful rainbow flag wlecome to the great stats of Penn and Oregon, where fag marriage is now legal!

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

That's because you're always made to look and never touch, grass-man.

Go with the feeling. Yes, vaginas visually intrigue (we don't have them, of course), but we use our sense of sight too much.

Making the pussy invisible, tell the woman you're not convinced unless she can make you feel it. And feel it right.

If she can, then that's a real woman.

Meade said...

Titus said...
"let's all give a beautiful rainbow flag wlecome to the great stats of Penn and Oregon, where fag marriage is now legal!"

Long live Equal Protection.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

I do like the sight of pussy (yes, I admit) but now conclude that my sensory preference is playing tricks on my results in the game and good sex department.

I need this slight handicap to my overall score rating fixed.

Meade said...

"If she can, then that's a real woman."

Run your idiotic idea by a real woman, Rit mo, report back to us.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Since the women I know have the humor and open-mindedness that narcissists lack, I'm sure that if they don't at least chuckle at my irresistible irreverence, they will at least understand and approve of the reasoning.

Meade said...

Keep telling yourself that, stud.

Titus said...

I don't like the sight of pussy. When I am on chaterbate I click of the female tab and there is like thousands of live videos of huge shaved pussies and they look like artichoke leaves to me....and I am afraid they want to kidnap and assault me.

tits.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

But of course, real science demands empiric proof. That is correct. I will choose a cohort of at least three by whom to run this idea - as a pilot study.

If the results are positive, we will go from there.

We are hoping for funding from NIH and possibly Harvard Brigham and Women's.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

What do you talk about with women, Meade?

Does Ann still let you speak? I'm sure the slate of allowable topics shrinks as much as your balls sag every year.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Pretty soon Meade's balls will sag low enough for him to need a protective sling while doing the hand-push mower.

Meade said...

"I don't like the sight of pussy...they look like artichoke leaves to me....and I am afraid they want to kidnap and assault me."

This is just one of the many things I've always loved about gay guys.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Meade is impressed by Titus' reduction of vaginas to vegetation. Because, lawns. They're sexy.

And it's sketchy to assume Meade's getting much these days.

Meade said...

Ritmo, is that civil?

What I talk about with women — and I talk with, on average, 6-9 different women every day — is always strictly kept between me and the woman. Protip, bro.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

What a dodge.

Anyway, don't you you come here to get away from your pretensions to valuing civility?

Make sure your neighbors know that you guard your intense discussions with them about Weed n Grow like a state secret.

Lol.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

6 - 9. Come on. That's too funny.

There's Sally down the street. And Madge at the post office. Then Esmerelda at the local shop grimaces while loading the bags. Things haven't been going well for her since her fifth husband ran off with the kids and left her all alone.

Some of them have interesting whiskers growing out from a mole at the side of their face.

Anything to get him to stop pretending he's dating a rock-star-in-her-own-mind. ANything.

TrooperYork said...

Lawnboy wants to keep it civil.

Now that's pretty fucking funny right there.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

I'm actually having a bit of fun, JD. Don't inadvertently encourage Larry to feel bad or conflicted about his smarminess.

Anyway, I was just imagining him looking at blades of grass, and imagining vaginas.

"Needles on the yew are soft enough, maybe they'll do…"

Then Meade wonders, "What is happening to me? I used to think of my woodsiness as a sturdy, masculine trait? Why does all the greenest and dullest of vegetation look like vaginas, now?"

At that point, Meade turns, hears helmet blonde yell for him, and is reminded that his needy ego's not the only one that needs stroking.

Synova said...

We haven't used our fireplace or wood stove for two years but I'm glad I have them. It gets cold here and if the power goes out or a cold snap means that the propane gets used up way faster than expected or if there is a bad snow storm and more propane can't be delivered, which absolutely happens in the mountains here...

We can burn stuff instead of freezing to death.

TrooperYork said...

Meade is your basic feminist man. He doesn't want to look at a vagina. He wants to have one.

Or at least live off the life savings and pension of one.

He has it all figured out.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Meade's sex life with his government employee wife is like receiving an enema of the state.

I ripped that off from a 90s punk boy-band. Extra points if you can figure out which one.

Trooper York said...

Dead Kennedys?

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Nah. I'm ashamed to admit they weren't even that cool.

But they did get a porn star to wear gloves and a nurse's outfit on the album cover.

Rabel said...

"and I talk with, on average, 6-9 different women every day"

And 5 of them are named Ann.

Too easy.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Anyway, where did the Lead Meade go? I thought he was going to give more advice on women. And how to persist in using the strangest of techniques to lure the ones you'd least like to end up with into a matrimonial, uh, well, I guess you'd call it an "arrangement".

I mean, that certainly does qualify as a "novel use of the internet". Even in this day and age when one would think we've seen every use for the internet that could be thought of.

Chat boards are Meade's garden. He and Ann are just serpents in it.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Do you remember that video when the ladies in Madison lectured Meade about assuming a doctor would be male (or was it a nurse only as a female?)

I thought that was funny. He kind of embarrassedly smiled, turned and looked at his toes as if to say, "Awww. Shucks".

It was a really buttery reaction for such a stud as himself to make.

Protip Meade: Next time say, "Good point. But…!" You know, the way you do when Ann says it's night time and asks you to put your saggy little fertilizer bags in the mason jar with the lid locked on tight for the night.

chickelit said...

We love our fireplace and also the outdoor fire pit I made. Nothing like sipping cocktails around that in the fall and winter. We use them every year. They add warmth and bring families and friends together. I love waking up early in the winter and starting a fire in the fireplace. We don't heat much and it really cheers up the cold mornings.

I burned mostly downed local trees indoors. A neighbor has a small business cutting and selling firewood so it helps him out.

I also burn scrap lumber outdoors -- pretty much anything that burns -- used cooking oil, furniture, etc. Many other SoCal communities have restrictive burn laws but not Oceanside. BTW, non of the recent fires were started by fire pits or fireplaces.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Blink-182. Excellent album cover, although Titus wouldn't like it.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Meade, is it true you nicknamed your penis, "Ann"?

I thought that was just a rumor.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Yes, Blink-182. That is correct.

I actually thought one or two of their songs weren't all that bad. One or two.

Meade said...

Synova exemplifies one of the many types of women I love having a conversation with on a daily basis — smart, funny, cute, feisty, loyal to her family, her husband, her country. There could be some attraction, sure, some kind of frisson, but who knows? It's a line that is never crossed with truly married Americans.

Hey, this isn't France and we're not French. In America, we still like our marriages to be monogamous, sexually exclusive. Those are the rules. You bring it all back home — to your mate, your lover, your woman. And it works just fine. Mighty fine.

Rabel said...

You're darn right at 9:42, Meade. I really admire people who go through life with a single partner.

The Dude said...

Subtle!

chickelit said...

Subtle subtlety subtly deployed!

Rabel said...

The sharper the blade, the deeper the cut.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Yes, that was good.

Hey, it's all about reaching your "6-9".

ndspinelli said...

The females lawnboy talks to every day are his bitches, female dogs and Queen Narcissus. As you all joust w/ lawnboy, smile knowingly, because TOP is dying. Karma is a bitch. Not one you can converse w/ however.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Meade: Seriously - how many personalities does Ann have?

ndspinelli said...

Ritmo, You're on fire!

chickelit said...

Ritmo, You're on fire!

Watch out for the particular matters!

Dust Bunny Queen said...

You're darn right at 9:42, Meade. I really admire people who go through life with a single partner.

Sssszzzzzzz the burn. Ouch.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

I like the bipartisan coalition that came together to verbally bitchslap lawn bitch.

Maybe there is some hope for the country after all.

The Dude said...

Well, there isn't, but it is good to see the grifter called out.

Things must be much worse over there than they let on - his comments here reek of desperation.

ndspinelli said...

Sixty, I can smell the flop sweat.

The Dude said...

Ewww!!!

Meade said...

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/lonely-people-post-personal-details-on-facebook-2014-05-21

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Your mealticket off grading papers or something lawnbitch?

Or is Ann just "having a conversation" with a different man? Maybe one with more education or who checks more diversity boxes?

We already known what her brand of "mongogamy" entails. What is lower than gardener? Perhaps she has not hit rock bottom in her slumming it yet.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Ann was "truly married" before she started letting you mooch off her worldly success, perhaps this one will end the same way.

How did that work out for you with your first wife, while we are on the topic?

Meade said...

I have to wonder what evidence Nick has that TOP, as you call it, is "dying".

When I consider all the facts Nick has gotten wrong in his comments over the years and the fact that he used to work as a private investigator who gave "expert witness" testimony in criminal cases, I shudder at the high probability that he has contributed to sending numerous innocent individuals to prison.

So I have to ask, Nick, is there any one wrongly incarcerated person who haunts you more than all the rest? Or do you care?

The Dude said...

I assume that Meade has more than one failed marriage prior to becoming an adulterer with his current "wife".

He mows lawns. He is a failure. He even thinks his current "marriage" is not a sham. He is going to be shocked to find out that he has no claim to Droopy's estate once she dies under mysterious circumstances, which will probably involve the blade off a lawnmower. She will make sure her diseased children will inherit her property because she never actually married the gardener.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Perhaps it was the 18% drop in traffic that your shrew of a mealticket's site had from the previous year.

Numbers don't lie.

http://legalinsurrection.com/2014/04/law-prof-blog-traffic-rankings/

ndspinelli said...

I worked civil cases as a PI, moron. I have mentioned that @ least 100 times on TOP. Get your facts straight. Step up your game lawnboy. And w/ this flop sweating you'll need to shower 4 times a day, and use baby powder. Now, make me a fuckin' sandwich, bitch!

Meade said...

President-Mom-Jeans said...
"Perhaps it was the 18% drop in traffic"
"Numbers don't lie."

18% drop in "traffic"? Do you know the difference between "page views" and "visitors"? Do you understand the concept of "stickiness"?

Study up Fred4, and then get back to us. But first you'd better do as Nick commands you and make his sandwich. His pot belly isn't going to keep growing all by itself you know. And don't make him tell you again 100 times.

Later, shut ins. I gotta go mow some lawns.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

Awwww, in a hurry to get your chores done before your mealticket gets home from her real job? Do you get your allowance on Wednesdays or not until the end of the week?

You better hope that amnesty doesn't get passed, Meade. I hear that Ann has been hankering for a replacement Mexican gardener to do the job that Larry the Leech is physically unable to do.

Plus he wouldn't mooch off of her pension and massively higher income. Pennies on the dollar.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

I'm not sure why you are getting so huffy about that cunt's website losing traffic anyways Larry.

"You didn't build that."

The Dude said...

And might be slightly less embarrassing at faculty parties - at least her coworkers would understand why an illegal might not understand the difference between a civil and a criminal case, and who knows, if said illegal has attended grade school, probably is better educated and speaks better English than her current houseboy.

She is probably ashamed beyond words when she has to introduce you to anyone possessing a modicum of intelligence or education.

"Yeah, this is Larry, he huffs exhaust fumes and stammers a lot".

Leland said...

If TOP was a business and pageviews the product, business was down 12% in the 1st Quarter compared to a year ago. If you just compare April 13 to April 14 pageviews, it was down 25%, not 18%.

If TOP had great pussy, would Meade be over here talking pussy with ritmo?

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

If TOP had great pussy, would Meade be over here talking pussy with ritmo?

Maybe that's what he's talking about with those "6 to 9". ;-)

Gotta get 6 to 9 in every day. Gotta get 'em in. Business (by whatever metric) down 20%*, talk to 6 to 9 ladies about (insert secret topic here) each day.

Gotta give props to PMJ for coming up with "Larry the Leech". Succinct, poetic and to-the-point.

*Or maybe just respect is down, too.

Meade said...

"If TOP had great pussy, would Meade be over here talking pussy with ritmo?"

No one who loves women would even think to ask a question like that.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Meade, go home.

Go have some more sekrit talks with the "6-9".

chickelit said...

If 6 Was 9

"White collar conservative flashing down the street...
...pointing their plastic finger at me.
They're hoping soon my kind will drop and die,
But I'm gonna wave my freak flag high, high."

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Hi Ladies, M'name's Meade. Leechy Larry Meade. Let's make a deal. You give me pussy (or the thought of it) and I don't judge you. Ever. Sounds fair, mkay?

Just wave that pussy in front of my face and all your sekrits is safe with me. What sort of mascara you wear, how many girl-enemies you have, even the technique you use to remove your facial mole hair. All those scintillating tidbits - won't say a word about them. Just walk a few feet upwind of me in a down draft without panties and you'll become a moral paragon and earn my undying loyalty.

Larry's lips is zipped, ladies. No one will ever know exactly how boring a set of details you've entrusted me with. Not ever.

Think of me as your personal Phony Mystique Manager. Larry the Lunatic finding Ladies to Laud. By not having anything to say about them. Yep, I'm one of them quiet types your parents warned you about.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Personally, I liked the set of numbers Jim Morrison was working with, Chick. Or, at least, the song he made out of it.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tHPsphg9xc

chickelit said...

I once did a Morrison-related chirbit directed at Althouse: link. You'll get it if you know the album "The Soft Parade"

Aridog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aridog said...

R & B and Chick ....strange how many Doors songs actually fit Meade's faux persona. MY acknowledgements to Howlin Wolf and the blues, of course. And yeah, "Soft Parade" was great and fitting too...just like "5-1."

Meade said...

Aridog said...

R & B and Chick ....strange how many Doors songs actually fit Meade's persona. And yeah, "Soft Parade" was great and fitting too...just like "5-1."

Curse you both now, as I have to again settle out my jones for more Doors. People will look at me strangely I bet...except my daughter, now 42, who grew up on the Doors...and still goes to three day rock "festivals" ...last weekend's only had one group I recognized, "Guns & Roses" and that only because she gave several albums.


The Doors were a parody of a hard edgy rock band. The 3 musicians could have formed a great band if only they had dumped alcoholic Morrison - the self-proclaimed "King of Orgasmic Rock" who serially mistreated women. Why am I not surprised you guys still love getting together after school and listening to their records.?

chickelit said...

The 3 musicians could have formed a great band if only they had dumped alcoholic Morrison - the self-proclaimed "King of Orgasmic Rock" who serially mistreated women.

The Doors tried to soldier on after Morrison's death, even trying to feign his voice on some recordings. But they failed commercially and packed it in.

What have you got against drink these days, Meade? Is your fridge empty?

Aridog said...

Meade...funny how quick you captured the words I deleted because on review I thought hey were spurious..e.g. the bit about my kid. It was up for no more than 15 seconds ... so you had to be just sitting there waitin' & watchin'...how cute.

I'm glad you have a negative opinion on the Doors and Morrison. Funny how their concerts and recordings sold out regularly...a couple even used as a theme for a blockbuster movie. If you'd said you liked Morrison and his crew I'd have been crushed. So thanks for that.

Never mind you were an adolescent & early teenager when the Doors were at their peak and had no way to "get it" on the topics they addressed.

How about an opinion on King Crimson?

This conversation could get interesting. If you actually read what others comment that is...;)

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 230   Newer› Newest»