My mom finds it rude and uncaring that I don't make personal inquiries of the details of people's lives when I chat with them.
For instance, after telling her I saw an old friend, she'll ask questions about their life, job, family members, etc., and finds it self-absorbed of me that I don't ask after these things myself. I find that type of conversation nosy, and let people volunteer such information if they want to. I will ask, "How are you?" like anyone else, but I don't say, "How's your parent/child/spouse/pet/job/health issues?" I generally talk to people about "stuff," and personal anecdotes may or may not be a part of any conversation.
Who is right here? Should I be more solicitous of people, or just stick to my ways?
Showing posts with label boundaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boundaries. Show all posts
Friday, June 5, 2015
"Carolyn Hax: My mom thinks I'm rude for not asking people more questions"
Dear Carolyn:
Saturday, October 26, 2013
“Everybody’s a reporter,” said Hayden
He should’ve taken the quiet car.
But that’s not what Michael Hayden did on Thursday afternoon as he boarded Acela No. 2170, bound for New York.
Instead, the former NSA director [Michael Hayden] nestled into a regular coach seat and soon began what for many travelers is an Amtrak ritual: talking, often nonstop, on a cellphone as the train rolled on.
A passenger a few seats away couldn’t help but be intrigued by the conversation...
It took nearly half an hour, but then it clicked for Matzzie, a former Washington director of the political group MoveOn.org. He whipped out his phone and began tweeting.
“Former NSA spy boss Michael Hayden on Acela behind me blabbing ‘on background as a former senior admin official,’ ” Matzzie wrote. “Sounds defensive.”
While a CIA strike team never burst onto the train, someone must have tipped Hayden off, because when the former official finished one of his calls, he got up — and walked straight over.
“Would you like a real interview?” he asked Matzzie.
“I’m not a reporter,” Matzzie replied.
The two proceeded to have a conversation about the Fourth Amendment and the NSA’s surveillance activities. They agreed to disagree, but before they parted, Hayden posed with Matzzie for a photo.
And then, Hayden swept off the train at Newark.
WAPO The Switch
But that’s not what Michael Hayden did on Thursday afternoon as he boarded Acela No. 2170, bound for New York.
Instead, the former NSA director [Michael Hayden] nestled into a regular coach seat and soon began what for many travelers is an Amtrak ritual: talking, often nonstop, on a cellphone as the train rolled on.
A passenger a few seats away couldn’t help but be intrigued by the conversation...
It took nearly half an hour, but then it clicked for Matzzie, a former Washington director of the political group MoveOn.org. He whipped out his phone and began tweeting.
“Former NSA spy boss Michael Hayden on Acela behind me blabbing ‘on background as a former senior admin official,’ ” Matzzie wrote. “Sounds defensive.”
While a CIA strike team never burst onto the train, someone must have tipped Hayden off, because when the former official finished one of his calls, he got up — and walked straight over.
“Would you like a real interview?” he asked Matzzie.
“I’m not a reporter,” Matzzie replied.
The two proceeded to have a conversation about the Fourth Amendment and the NSA’s surveillance activities. They agreed to disagree, but before they parted, Hayden posed with Matzzie for a photo.
And then, Hayden swept off the train at Newark.
WAPO The Switch
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