Youse guys watch Maury don't you? I mean I don't but I am touch with the cultural zeitgeist. Or at least that part of it that mocks Ted Cruz. Sorry I can't help it. New York Values.
It seems that this Donald Trump voter Searcy Hayes was searching for a way to prove that her boyfriend was the father of her rug rat and not the dudes he claimed made her a baby momma. She took a blood test and was vindicated. But a funny thing happened. It turns out she is a dead ringer for Ted Cruz.
So naturally only one thing can happen. She was offered $10,000 for a sex tape. With her boyfriend. So they are going to do it. I mean they are on the balls of their ass and that money can be the difference for them. They can pay off their truck or their trailer. Stock up on Mountain Dew and Moon Pies. They are googling "How to make a sex tape on an Iphone."
