Poor Santa

"Is that you Wilbur?"
"No it is me Santa. How are you Mr. Ed. Have you been a good little horsey?"
"Well no Santa. I have been a bad horsey."
"Really what did you do? Poop on the floor? Shed all over the rug?'
"Nothing that harmless. I committed adultery. With our next store neighbor Barbara Parker. And that's not the worst of it."
"What could be worse than that?"
"Well she is going to have a baby. Little Sarah Jessica. I don't know what I am going to tell Wilbur. He gets very jealous."
"Jeeez. I thought the idiots on Gilligan's Island were a problem. Coal in your stocking this year you perverted pony."

Poor Santa!

"So what would you like for Christmas this year Samantha?"
"How about a new husband who is not a homo?'
"Well with the magic of Television we can work that out. What else?'
"Oh his penis. It has to be at least this big."
"I will get to work on that. But I have to warn you. It might be either Milton Berle or Forrest Tucker. So don't get your hopes up."
"Just give me something to work with Fatso and I won't complain."
"Ho, ho, ho. You really are a freaking ho. No wonder that Gig Young is gonna eat his gun."
"WHAT?"
"Never mind. Merry Christmas and to all a Good Night!"

Poor Santa!

"So have you been a good little Genie this year little girl?"
"Oh yes Master. I have been very, very good!"
"You need to call me Santa not Master. What did you do this year that was so nice!"
"Why I catered to your every whim. I ran around in a skimpy costume and bent over all the time so you could check me out. In fact I have a question for your Maste....errr Santa."
"What's that Jeannie?"
"Is that a Candy Cane in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

Poor Santa!

He only comes once a year.

And that's down a chimney.