In the trunk: what women want

Men don’t need to see themselves reflected back to themselves in a relationship. They need to see themselves reflected back as some sort of hero. Women want to see themselves reflected back as being competent in relationships.

true

false

complete bullshit

pollcode.com free polls

http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2015/10/08/the-real-reason-hollywood-lacks-good-roles-for-women/

In the trunk: time

"Now, since there is not an hour left to [gather my tax papers to send to the accountant], so I send an email to Cassie:

I’m teaching you about about working with people, okay?  You don’t work with Paul and he doesn’t take orders from you. So it’s insubordinate that you emailed him. I don’t care, and I don’t think he does either, but I think you have no idea that this is jarringly awful office politics that you exhibit here. I think it’s why people hate working with you.

And Cassie writes back:

Paul and I have a system, which we created because you are so terrible at office politics. Everytime you send him directions to change something he calls or emails me to find out what you are talking about. You give him such vague instructions that he has no idea what to do.

Stressing over whether I am incompetent at management takes the rest of my hour.

...On the drive home I don’t even pretend I’m going to do taxes because good time managers are realists. So I read my articles from my folder of articles to read later. One is about the book Happier by Tal Ben-Shar.  The research in his book says we would be happier by doing these things:

-Create rituals around the things we love to do.

-Express gratitude for the good things in our lives.

-Set meaningful goals that reflect our values and interests.

-Play to our strengths instead of dwelling on weaknesses.

-Simplify our lives — not just the stuff, but the time.

And then I realize: The way for me to be better than my parents isn’t to do my taxes on time. That would be nice. But really I need to not give myself choices about how I spend my time. The more choices I have throughout the day, the more decisions I make, the more willpower I need, the more I get distracted from paying attention to the building blocks of a fulfilling life: gratitude, meaning, and ritual. [my emphases]

Being productive means simplifying how you use your time. Which in turn, simplifies your life."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are thought-provoking suggestions for a master procrastinator such as I. 

What does "simplify our lives — not just the stuff, but the time" mean to you? I'm thinking along the lines of sticking with a structured day. Instead of getting carried away watching several episodes of a favorite show, stop at two. Instead of spending three days in a row making quilt top, restrain yourself to one three-hour stretch per day. How else will housework, gardening, and birthday card sending be accomplished?

I like, "create rituals around the things we love to do."  That puts me in mind of the first cup of coffee looking out the kitchen window or making bath time special with a creamy scented soap and a cup of tea. It puts me in mind of Hilda.

Any thoughts, insights, or suggestions on the five tips? 

In the Trunk: poor executive function

"Just as my suspension ended, I got pulled over.

The policeman said to me, “Do you know why you got pulled over?”

I said, “No.”

He said, “Your tags are expired.”

I was shocked. I didn’t think people really kept track of their tags.

He said, “Can I see your license?”

I started crying.

The kids said, from the back seat, “Are you in trouble? Are you going to jail? Did you break the law?”

I asked the policeman if I could get out of the car and talk to him because I didn’t want my kids to hear.

He said okay.

I explained that I didn’t have a license. I told him I’ve been trying to get one but I couldn’t and then I got it suspended and I said please don’t make it so it’s suspended again. I’ll never get a license.

He gave the kids stickers and coloring books while he made calls on his radio and wrote tickets in his car. He ticketed me for the tags but not the license.

I went back to get a license and I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the right combination of name and address to match everything. I had changed my name and where I live so often that nothing matched. I went home discouraged.

...Slowly, I started taking steps to get my license. I hired someone to help me. I was making progress. I had a Wisconsin State ID and a social security card. And I was gearing up to the take the written exam.

To give you and idea of how hard it is for me to take a standardized test, when I took the GRE I scored in the 17th percentile. I think that’s where people score when English is not their first—or second—language.

My son sat next to me while I surreptitiously popped a Xanax and started the test.

The DMV person told my son he had to sit farther away from me.

There are a lot of questions that I’ve studied for. For example, I know that if you hit a deer and you do not take it, the next driver can take the deer home for himself.

I pass the written test. The Farmer and Jeanenne have a mini-celebration.

Jeanenne drives me to the DMV in Darlington to take the road test.  I wait too long at intersections but they still pass me.

Then they let me take six photos until I get one I like.

And Jeanenne says, “It’s amazing that even when you are trying to follow the rules and be like everyone else, you still get people to make exceptions for you. “

But look. It’s a good picture:"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I rate my executive functioning at -6P. How about you?