Friday, November 1, 2019

Trump officially Florida Man



Eh, so what. He's going to have to take all his gold with him. His gold doors, his gold picture frames, his gold-trimmed furniture, his gold plates, his gold service ware, his gold chandeliers, his gold fruit bowls, his gold ash trays, his gold bicycles, his gold helicopter, his gold spittoons, his gold trim aquarium, his gold flyswatter, his gold toilets, his gold toilet paper holder, his gold tissue boxes, his gold ... everything over there is gold. He'll have to gut the whole place.

He'll still have his properties in New York.


I used to think putting your name on a building is crass. But this one actually isn't all that bad. It's street-level. It tells you where you are at.

I thought it had a big ol' name at the top like an Izod Lacoste alligator symbol. A building treated as a shirt. I see people wearing shirts, shoes, and hats with emblems on them and I keep thinking the company should pay the people to wear their advertisements. People are poncing around providing free advertising. I see swoosh Nike and  think you're a dope. 

Trump's kid, Barron, still fascinates me. 

I keep thinking, imagine having a dad like Trump. Right there is a tremendous burden. How is he going to live it down? Or live up to it? It's an impossible act to follow. He's blessed and he's stuck at the same time. It's impossible to be a regular kid. 

Like prince Charles. The other kids in school hazed the living H-E-Double wicket bats out of him. Because he is prince. They had to. It was their duty. And look what it did to him. Just being born a prince totally ruined a perfectly good man. 

I read a book he wrote about talking to plants. 

Maybe it was an article about him talking to plants. 

The book, or the article, whatever, didn't mention the plants kept going, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up already. Please. You're driving us all nuts." 

Barron is going to have to be extraordinarily ordinary to come out of this sane.


Where is Barron's head at? I'll bet if you spoke with him you would find it utterly prosaic.

My brother told me he took his family to Ukraine to visit his mother-in-law. They stayed nearly a month.

The old woman needed to move but she made the task 10X more difficult.

She made his family sneak into her building afraid that her neighbors would make things difficult because they are American.

Exactly the same way my dad's mother made things 10X more difficult for him. I have another story about being put up in her house during an electrical storm one exceedingly hot summer night in Bethlehem Pennsylvania. She insisted all the windows stay shut even though it was suffocating. So we left.

My brother's wife speaks with a heavy accent. All these women mentioned did. 

Yet their sons turned out well-adjusted.

Driving home from Iowa Alona told Nathaniel to shut the car window. In her accent.

"Nathaniel. Vindow. Close." 

Like Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

Later the kid was goofing around again. I said gently in her accent, ""Nathaniel. Vindow. Close." 

Both boys stopped short and stared at me, like wtf?

They recognized that I was imitating their mother. They know their mother speaks English differently than everyone else.

Two days ago James had Daniel call me to thank me for sending him three dog-frisbees.  I had them sent to the boy. The boy told me their dog actually fetches other things pretty well. I am struck how his English is crystal-clear. 

Ding. Like that. 

He is the clearest speaking person in the household. He speaks more clearly than my brother. Every single letter is enunciated. No elisions, contractions or consonant substitutions. He speaks like a textbook. And no wandering as kids do. You know exactly what he is saying. And he's only seven. I think. 

So there's hope for Barron to turn out okay. And not a crackpot like Chelsie Clinton or Ron Reagan. 

11 comments:

Rabel said...

How you feeling today, Chip?

Chip Ahoy said...

I feel great. Thanks for asking.

I'm off right now to the clinic again. Apparently the blood draws never end.

ricpic said...

Middle class is now priced out of living in NYC. Implosion to follow? Here's hoping.

In the past a steady stream of young talented people from the provinces kept revitalizing NYC. That too is ending.

I guess liberals like Cuomo, who said "Conservatives are not welcome in my state," will get their feudal wish.

Amartel said...

Great news! Play nice with the vampires. I recently had pneumonia (and I'm not even that old, at least I thought I wasn't) and the drawing of the blood was endless while they figured out the nature of my particular distress. Blood draw here, now again here, and again here, and just in case here. And then came the bills.

ricpic said...

OT - Has anyone here had any experience taking CBD Oil? Just read about it and it sounds too good to be true.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

I thought New Yorkers automatically became Florida Citizens at 65.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

ripic: ...it sounds too good to be true

Of course it is too good to be true. If you don't mind paying a few bucks for the stuff, it probably won't hurt you beyond that. Assuming your source of CBD oil is legit it will be rather pricey. You don't want to buy cheap stuff made by meth heads in back of their trailer.

ricpic said...

In other words even the pricey stuff won't deliver the goods? Bummer.

MamaM said...

It lowered my blood pressure, ricpic. I don't take any other BP meds. MrM does and he's currently giving it a try, It's about $80 for a bottle that lasts a month. I use UltraCell, lemon-flavored in a dropper bottle. No oily taste and easy to take. It also reduces stress/anxiety.

It's worth a try. Rather than employing cure-all fantasies, look for better than results.

edutcher said...

Trump pays millions in taxes, but the Demos are crowing.

Duh.

ken in tx said...

He will be hounded by the state of New York for the rest of his life, just like Rush Limbaugh. Every time he passes through NY, they will claim a portion of his income.