I mentioned this "So, what do you do for a living" question bugged me when meeting people for its shortcut to all that is useful to know of a person as it misdirects. I never did identify with my job. Knowing where I worked didn't inform anything, I'd have to explain how poorly I fit in. However, what I did within those positions tells everything. Yet it is standard question that is asked immediately by way of icebreaker. Pity. It means the individual is not only curious but uncomfortable. And now I think the question is funny. Funny because the person is even more socially uncomfortable than I am. The person I mentioned this to at the time is fifteen years my senior and now that was a very long time ago said way back then, "Yeah, do you have a puffy wallet? Do you live in a big house? What about your car?"
That was hilarious to me and it's impossible to forget that agreeable reaction.
People still ask. At this point I tell them I whore myself out any number of ways then ask what they might have in mind.
30 comments:
I was reading a book about the English and their mannerisms. This is not done there. Apparently, you're not even supposed to introduce yourself by name when you first meet someone socially. It's supposed to come out naturally in the course of small talk. Basically, you have to prove yourself competent to carry on a civilized conversation before introducing personal details; you certainly don't bombard the other person with this sort of information unless you've proven yourself worthy. So that's one way to go about it. It seems a bit clenched but then that's the English for you. Here, it's usually just an icebreaker. Judgey people gonna judge, of course, and are capable of drawing negative conclusions about your income or character based on their perceptions about that job. (Imminent danger violins.)
" 'So, what do you do for a living'.....misdirects."
Astute observation. Misdirects from what? From the interesting stuff. Which terrifies most people or at least a lot of people. And that's why great conversation is so rare. At least in my experience. My dream in youth, which I now realize is a rather common dream of a certain kind of youth, was to find a salon. In other words a place, urban of course, where tremendously interesting civilized people gathered and talked, talked marvelously and at length about everything. I didn't find it. Does it exist? Is their a place, or a number of shifting places for the peripatetic, where the happy few meet and weave a tapestry of spellbinding talk? Talk that goes on for hours...or at least for two? It's in books. So it must actually exist, right? But again, I never found it. Of course there's the dreadful possibility that salons did exist but I...I didn't make the grade, wasn't invited. Shit.
There should be a question mark after for a living and is their a place should be is there a place. Sheesh, I wish there was an edit doohickey but there ain't.
Wow, Megyn Kelly's wearing an unusually matronly blouse tonight. She usually has her shoulder armholes cut in at least an inch on each side. The ruffle/tie thing makes her look like George Washington.
Interesting data point, Armatel. Reminds me of Jane Austen novels, where you couldn't talk to someone at a party unless you were introduced to them.
I dread it when people ask me what I do for a living.
BORING!
plus, I already know the response. It's universal. "oh how fun... will you come to my house?"
*ugh*
I try not to ask others what they do for a living as a first question. You know though, at any party filled with strangers, it really is one of the preferred socially accepted methods for ice breaking. The other is - "what are your hobbies?" Is there a clever alternative?
Here's my answer to the hobby question:
' I like to sit on my butt and talk bullocks on the interwebs...' You?
Dude ric this is your salon bro. Be thankful it is bigger and quicker than you could have imagined, although of course downsides are part and parcel.
Blouse looks weird without sleeves.
Interesting take on Fox
TRUMP PROJECTED NY WINNER; DEM RACE TOO CLOSE TO CALL - Trump has 70%, Hillary out in front by >20
Looks like rough week for the Anointed One - worst negatives in MD, only 22 show up in Philadelphia for Cruz rally - he may have to steal a lot of delegates
PS best headline - no Republican ballots in Harlem, looks like The Donald has some friends Uptown.
hey ed- can you delete that and post it in a Trump thread. This is not a Trump thread.
Thanks.
speaking of manners...
AprilApple said...
hey ed- can you delete that and post it in a Trump thread. This is not a Trump thread.
I wasn't aware you were the thread nanny.
Besides, when deborah mentioned Miss Megyn's blouse, I figured it was open season.
But I do appreciate your chagrin.
whatever. I'm off to do something else anyway.
Shocking that Hillary is beating everyone in New York.
Her vote totals make Trump's look anemic.
Chagrin indeed.
(scroll down )
More Demo (47) precincts in than Republican (31), sweetie.
But I'll bet he pulls in more than that bogus 1.3 mil Daddy claims he won in his voterless elections.
I have been laughed at by wealthy folks my age from my hometown when we discuss work/job/career/reason de tete (reason to exist in French is what I intend that to mean). Not self-made wealth, they never begrudge workeffort. 'Twas the lineage made wealth; in cases highlighted by generational suicides sadly. Frankly by very few of them even when I, acting the fool, would do less than fail to reckon with them.
This is a place where a guy worth 9 figures watches movies and eats popcorn at a small screen with bad sound quality because that is his hometown's theater. He could buy 10 theaters twice the size and barely notice a dent in his financials, and the more I think about this ethic the more impressed I am. American. His commercials started off looking like Croation gypsies slinging petrified dingo fetus'.
No more can that label accurately be applied.
If you, like Drudge, want to delude yourself into thinking Trump will beat Hillary in New York, go ahead.
When all the precincts are in, Trump's numbers will still be anemic. ***Granted, that has more to do with the fact that New York is leftwing pudding. New York is where fiscal responsibility and honesty go to die.
More registered Ds than Rs, sweetie.
Closed primary, you know, the ones Daddy Cruz was supposed to win?
BTW, how does Daddy win if he can't win a state east of the Mississippi besides Maine?
I heard on Fox tonight that an upstate NY precinct has 177,000 voters represented by three delegates, and a precinct in NYC with 13,000 voters also has three delegates.
That may well be. Which party?
The Roosevelts were running NY Demo politics since Little Big Horn, so some of that stuff is going to be extremely arcane.
Republican, I think...compared to superdelegates...
No idea.
Are you sure it's a precinct and not a Congressional district?
You ladies amaze me. I watched a minute of Hillary' speech and except for the mainlines running from her nostrils to the bottom of her chin there's not a wrinkle on her from her collarbone to the top of her forehead. It's like magic. I've seen pictures of her without makeup and/or chemical assistance and she looks even older than she is. The word turkey comes to mind. How does she do that?
Lifestyle lift a week.
deborah said...
I heard on Fox tonight that an upstate NY precinct has 177,000 voters represented by three delegates, and a precinct in NYC with 13,000 voters also has three delegates.
27 Congressional districts get 3 delegates.
State winner gets and extra 14. Typical winner take most.
Oh. They called them precincts.
Magic, Rabel.
It's called Botox, Rabel.
Or tape. Lots and lots of tape.
Joint compound.
I thought Botox was a point application. She appears to have plumped up her entire head and neck.
Fillers. Also they could have pulled her skin taught behind her neck and used a clothespin.
Heh heh. Joint compound. Good one, deborah.
Spackle for The Cackle.
Imagine the texturization required.
Or they could tear down and start over.
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