This is a job for the Untouchables.

“Ricco, Youngblood, Lee. Let’s go. We are going to get Trump. Taxes. The same way we got Capone. We need to get him to release his taxes. We have to go over them with a fine tooth comb. He doesn’t use a comb. I think he takes his hair off and sends it out to be dry-cleaned. So we need to do it. There has to be something there. I just know it.

I bet there is a lot to find. Where he contribute to charity. He doesn't give to Vets groups like he says he does. I do know he founded a school for wayward Eastern European models with larger than a D cup. I think he calls it the Jenny McCarthy House. Plus he donates his used Trump Toupees to Habitat for Humanity. I think they use them to thatch huts or something. The rest of contributions would also be very interesting. We need to humiliate him if his cheap or out him if he ever gave to a cause that subsequently became unpopular.

Most of all we have to check his Mob ties. Just because every business in New York has Mob Ties doesn't mean anything. If he has any receipts from the Shop Right Supermarket chain we got him. Everybody knows they are owned by the Gambinos.  If he bought concrete thirty years ago from a Mob Concrete Company when they were they only concrete companies in business well we got him! In fact if his mother bought an Artichoke in 1942 he is ours since everyone knows that Ciro Terranova owned the artichoke business. He has Mob ties. I know it. Let’s go over his tax returns. He can’t issue a summary like Rubio or Cruz or Mittens. We have to look up his asshole to see what we can find. Nobody wants to do that to Rubio. God knows it is too crowded up in there.

Get the accountants and let’s get to work boys. We finally got him. Trump is going down. What? Shut up Marco. Nobody wants you to go down on anybody. Save it for South Beach. Let's go.”