Sunday, February 21, 2016

Melania Trump's Diary



Melania Trump’s Diary
February 21, 2016
So we have won in South Carolina. I love South Carolina. All the nice white people with their moon pies and snakes and moonshine. They remind me of the people back home in Slovenia. Good hard working people who work the land, drink to excess and have sex with their cousins. My kind of people.

Donald was so happy and pleased that he even raised a chubby without me having to munch on Little Donald all night.  It was wonderful. But then seeing Jeb Bush humiliated always makes him hard.
Thank God for Laura Bush. She called me up at the beginning of the campaign. She said she knew I would be the next First Lady and she has important stuff to tell me once Donald wins. She hates Jebbie with a passion so she fed us inside information all campaign long. We didn’t even have to use most of it.
Donald just went with the low energy thing because that is what Jeb’s wife complains about all the time. Laura says she won’t shut up about it and how she wishes she had married El Chapo like her mamacita wanted her to back in Juarez.

I just wish that bitch Ivanka wouldn’t push her way into the spotlight. She always has to push her big cow face in there. Now she is as big as a house she should stay home and have the baby. I just don’t trust her. Donald and her are just too damn close. She is always sitting on his lap and tousling his weave while he tweeks her nipples and she giggles. I mean it is not as bad as Jeb and old bug eyed Barbara. She still bathes him you know. At least that’s what Laura says. You just never know about people.

Now we just have to take care of the Rent Boy and Frankenstein. Donald is just waiting to release the video he has of Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval and Marco at a party in Miami in 2003. It is pretty disgusting. Those Vanderpump Rules homos were all up in Marco’s business. All the way up. I mean you think people would have figured it out when they saw the Rent Boy wearing those high heeled boots but whatever. We just need to wait for the right time. I mean who would vote for someone who had sex with Reality TV Stars.

9 comments:

William said...

If I were playing marry, fuck, or kill, I would definitely marry Laura Bush, fuck Melania, and kill the Goldman Sachs banker just on the principle of the thing. In the more depraved children's version of the game, I would marry either of the Bush twins, fuck Ivanka, and kill Chelsea. If I could have the threesome, I would marry Ivanka, fuck the Bush twins, and kill Chelsea........I bet Jeb Bush's wife was hot when she was younger. The down side of being a good Christian is that you don't get to upgrade your wife during the mid life crisis. Is it any wonder so many Christians have lost their faith and so many others are turning to Islam to find their path to God.

Trooper York said...

He has a bit of McGreevey in him.

Literally.

chickelit said...

LOL, Trooper.

But doesn't this sorta prove that you're anti-Trump and thus pro-Hillary?

ricpic said...

Fast Lane Lady

Smoldering Slovenian eyes,
She saw her chances and took 'em;
Never looked back when babushkas
Gave her the evil eye: fook 'em.

Trooper York said...

Not at all.

I am a clear eyed observer who is not fooling himself.

In particular I am a clear eyed observer of Melania's tata's.

rcocean said...

LOL. Those boots did give off a Gay vibe didn't they? Of course, maybe its just the Cuban influence - maybe that's macho in Miami.

rcocean said...

The last thing I want to do is see Chelsea's homely puss for another 4 years.

Go Bernie.

Does he even have a wife?

Trooper York said...

I think he has a comrade.

Methadras said...

rcocean said...

The last thing I want to do is see Chelsea's homely puss for another 4 years.

Go Bernie.

Does he even have a wife?

February 21, 2016 at 6:49 PM
Blogger Trooper York said...

I think he has a comrade.


She was chosen for him by the politburo. He had no choice in the matter.