The black man immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.
He says to the white, "See how good I am? The owner didn't see a thing." The white man says to the black man, "That's typical of you black people. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. The white man swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then the white man swallows that one and asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "So what did you do with the pastries?"
The white man replies, "Look in the black mans back pocket....."
Via Reddit/Jokes
28 comments:
OK, here's one joke that I thought about telling on the thread below this one. I didn't because I didn't know that it was joke day.
A guy goes into the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes,caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you five extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Disabled in your country's service! Well, that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay. Looking at the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 AM, and plan on starting at 10:00 AM every day.
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 AM?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
What a treat. Two good jokes.
LOL --- Allen S & Lem.
"A black man and a white man"
If the color of the two men is left out, does the joke, in your opinion, still stand up?
All jokes stand on their own, Meade, unless all of the vowels are removed.
Allen cutely attempts disavowal.
If the color of the two men is left out, does the joke, in your opinion, still stand up?
If you stick a burning poker up your stupid fucking ass, would you notice the burning sensation?
You are so a fucking lowlife worthless bastard, Meade.
You're wife is, I think worse. She can't stop bitching that she's suffered like a nigger her whole life.
What a pair of shitheads you two are.
Go fuck yourself.
Althouse is 65 years or so old, she's pulling down $150,000, she's been milking a civil service sinecure for 45 years, and the rotten cunt is still bitching that she's a victim of oppression.
Meade, why don't you ask your wife to buy you a car? That way, you could get out of the house every once in a while and maybe meet some average Americans.
Is the joke any less funny if you leave out "black" and "white"? Is the joke funnier to you because it has a racial angle?
If you met some average Americans, Meade, you'd find out that they don't get all butt hurt with any jokes.
Are you an average American, Allen? If so, then why the butt hurt?
Someone needs a hug.
Amen Brother Thomas.
The joke works when the race element is eliminated. Just change it to two wise-asses walk into a bakery...
I turned Allen's racist joke into Curious George and the man in the yellow hat.
Then realized Curious George doesn't have pockets so changed it to Homer Simpson and Ned Flanders.
But the shop was Apu's and the joke became racist again because Apu said, "I. dold. u. 2. git. out. end. u. r. nut. gitting. out!"
So I changed it to Democrat and Republican and all was well with the joke.
Until the Democrat turned out to be feminist and decried the patriarchy paying doughnut ladies 70% paid the doughnutmen.
This joke, innocent at first, proved to be somewhat difficult and failed on college campuses.
Finally, a healthy young handsome privileged white male steals the doughnuts for no reason other than amusement, and a disabled transgendered gay little-person of color otherized and economically disadvantaged shows how it's done. And it's the cleverest fucking joke because the whole time you're thinking the midget is going to say, "ta-daa! See? I made them disappear." But instead she/he narked on the white fo. Ha ha ha ha ha.
The liquor store at the state line has a message board. For the past three or four weeks, it's read: Instead of flowers, why not liquor for Valentine's Day? No joke.
Ah, Chip, nobody stole any fuckin donuts in my joke.
"Is the joke any less funny if you leave out "black" and "white"? Is the joke funnier to you because it has a racial angle?".
Am I the only one who sees this joke as going for the White privilege angle?
They have to be Black and White, because the joke is that the White guy robs the store too, but just uses bullshit to do it, because he has the advantage of his privilege. It's a rather weak joke without the race element.
"nobody stole any fuckin donuts in my joke"
Which is partly why your joke wasn't funny. Add some trickster donut element and — boom — har dee har har. Add a racist element and — donk — at least you know Trooper will guffaw.
But mostly your joke wasn't funny because it was just too damn long. Now look at windbag's: "Instead of flowers, why not liquor for Valentine's Day?" Get it? Notice the brevity? The stupider the joke, the shorter it needs to be. Also, the more racist the joke, the more racist you'll be for repeating it. Has nothing to do with political correctness, it has to do with being tickled by racism.
"Am I the only one who sees this joke as going for the White privilege angle?"
Yes, you are the only one. To be funny from the white privilege angle, you'd have to flip it and leave the privileged white guy holding the bag, bags.
"..you'd have to flip it and leave the privileged white guy holding the bag, bags."
It's not supposed to make the White guy look bad - that would be racist. Nobody looks bad here. It just points out that privilege dictates method. See, it's not racists at all. It just says "Black" and "White" to throw off the PC susceptible, and it worked.
"Nobody looks bad here."
Heh. Now THAT is funny.
Relatively bad. They were both hungry. If you're hungry you can do no wrong. Just ask Jeffrey Dahmer.
AllenS said...
Meade, why don't you ask your wife to buy you a car? That way, you could get out of the house every once in a while and maybe meet some average Americans.
Or at least by a new hat and maybe change his look a little so he doesn't look like one of those frumpy old dudes who doesn't do anything but garden and shit and wears khaki clothes like that animal guy Jack Hannah or some shit. You know the look.
Shouting Thomas said...
You and your wife both need a serious ass kicking.
Hard to say which of you is the worse cunt.
Since it's joke day, I'll just go out on a limb and say the cunt with the most sand in it wins. That might be hard to determine since both of theirs is old and unused. You might have to get down to counting grains to determine the winner. Just sayin'.
Just make it a white women vs. a black man. then the joke is about how Men are big dummies.
Which is the joke of every other commercial on TV.
I think back to when I was a kid and had to mow the lawn and shovel the driveway. I can't remember my allowance, but I didn't feel like I was going anywhere until I got my paper route. It took a while, but eventually I had enough money to buy a 1958 Chevrolet Impala convertible.
As an adult, the thought of living off of an allowance by the person who owns the house is unacceptable, but that's just me.
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