Chelsea is the closest thing America has to a princess.

The single most interesting thing about Chelsea Clinton is she allows us to make fun of her and  her family and also her absurd party and their drooling admirers. A Washington Post writer, Jessica Contrera -- how's that for an agreeable handle? -- dribbles on as misguided fan girl wrong throughout so aggressively stupidly that she is impossible to read. You cannot do it. You cannot ingest each paragraph completely, as you're trained to do as if to pass a short test. It starts out with a correction that nobody could possibly care about and proceeds to interpretation that leaves more out than its glossy surface sheen could even suggest to contain. 

Chelsea was astonished, her friends say, by the fervor of the world’s curiosity. 

About when this daughter of this family is going to disappear, yes, we are curious about that.

She isn’t quite a celebrity.

But not for long if birdbrains like you can help it. 

Or a philanthropist.

! 

Or a politician,

Yes, she is politician, Stupid. And has been for years. Decades. But you haven't seen it. I know a decade ago she's been in Democrat homes in Denver. I know mother and daughter traveled around continuously to households that would host parties specifically to hear the the two speak. It's a thing. Was a thing. Households that liked to think they're doing something meaningful and doing something right. Lawyer types. Households that are willing to pay and to support them, willing to host a cocktail party around their esteemed presence, households that are flatly wrong. All that of course before such meetings cost upward of a quarter million dollars and with specific enumerated rock star demands. The attraction is power, a desire to be part of power building, as the two have nothing interesting or useful to say. And neither does the Washington Post writer covering them. 

though let’s not rule that out. Now serving as vice chair of her family’s foundation, she has reinvented herself as a champion of uncontroversial causes,

Herself and her family first always, their party secondly, these uncontroversial causes Jessica writes of a far distant sixth or eighth or tenth or so behind friends, tools such as Jessica, travel, lobbying, accouterments, jewelry fashion, homes, apartments, vehicles, shoes with red soles, speeches of averring she cannot possibly care about money, she just cannot, it's not in her apparently to care about money, payments for services, and double and triple salaries for associates and much more.  

her life an endless string of grand entrances, polite speeches, photo-ops — after which she retreats to her eight-figure Manhattan condominium, expecting the media and the public to preserve the boundaries she has cherished since childhood. 

Louise Woodward, the British au pair that was convicted of killing the American baby  in Massachusetts put on a good Lady Di act too (conviction appealed, reduced to time served). It went over very well in England and among American Democrats. But even my Belgian sheepdogs can make turns and take stiff stylish sphinx postures and sit with their paws crossed like a princess and just sit there with their dog-muzzles shut and have their  beauty admired. It's not so hard being vacant and vapid as a Howdy Doody puppet propped up on a chair without Bob Smith's arm up its backside. You simply pretend that you're posh and with people throwing money at you for your family's influence in American government, it not at all hard to act posh especially around imbeciles like Jessica Contrera stricken with ideas of royalty that is not just simplistically contrary but actually antithetical to American thought. My impulse is shake Jessica Contrera like Louise Woodward shook Matthew Eappen.

The best part of Jessica Contrera's article at the Washington Post are the comments that pretty much all tell her she's full of stink.