Sixties Sitcom Subtext Theatre

It is very tough when you are working with Dolphins. Male dolphins are all rapists. They would stick their fishy penises in anything. So we only wanted to use female dolphins for the show. Unfortunately the original Flipper was a Lesbian.  Lesbian dolphins are  particularly hard to work with.  A whole different kettle of fish....so to speak. They don't like men for starters and are always trying to hurt them. They keep trying to put on Birkenstock sandals when they don't have any feet. And they never want to wear make up.

So we had to get some back up fish. The most popular one was a young perky female called Squirty. Squirty was a whore. She would swim up to the men and present her fishy vagina to be serviced. Sort of like a Kardashian. All of the young boys on the show had their first sexual experiences with Squirty. And all of the crew. And pretty much anyone who got into the water with her. Which turned out to be very important for the NFL. You see one of the investors in Ivan Tors studio was this guy named Joe Robbie. He always said Squirty was the best sexual experience he ever had. You see her vagina would secret this fishy lube which squirt out whenever she got excited. Thats why they called her squirty.

He loved her so much that he named his expansion AFL football team after her. He wanted to call his team the Fishy Squirty Vaginas but Al Davis and Sonny Werblin convinced him to go with the "Miami Dolphins."

But you should realize that they were really the "Fishy Squirty Vaginas."
(Ivan Tors The E True Hollywood Story of Flipper)