"Well Sam I have to tell you the truth."
"I knew something is wrong. What is it Darren?"
"Well remember that fellow who sold us the rare clumber puppy for Tabitha."
"Yes. Mike Brady. He's married to that lady who likes vegetable oil way to much for a decent married woman."
"Yes well there is a reason for that. But let's not get into that."
"So what about Mike Brady."
"Well I don't know how to tell you this...but we are in love......and we are going to move home to my home state of Wisconsin and raise rare clumbers together. We are getting married. I am so sorry."
"But he's already a married man. He has about twenty kids or something."
"No only three kids and three step kids. But they are so busy having sex with each other they are never even going to notice that he is gone. I am sorry Sam. Tell me what you are thinking?"
"I don't know Darren. This is a lot to digest."
"Yeah that's what Mike's wife said about the vegetable oil. But she got used to it eventually."
15 comments:
All Darrens are gay Titus. That is the underlying subtext we are talking about.
So Bewitched was gay because you say so, Titus? Give us a for instance.
The show was gay-the mother, Paul Lynde, Uncle Arthur, gladys the neighbor.
It was campy gay.
tits.
Darren McGavin wasn't gay. Unless he was in a very macho way. I'm so confused.
The second Darren was a major fudgie in real life.
Hey he was Kolchak the Night Stalker. There was always vampires and lots of sucking going on. It was pretty gay. Just sayn'
The first Darren died broke.
tits.
Other gay Darrens.
Darren Crisp from Glee. Of course.
Darren Bent the soccer player. With a name like that.
Darren McCarty the Hockey player. Had his best years as a Calgary Flamer.
Bobby Darin. When the shark bites? Where do think it bit him. In the dick of course.
Face it. It is just a gay name.
Hey Titus, are you really a Harvard grad? It would account for the snobbism.
How about the episode when Aunt Clara and Uncle Arthur conjured up the devil and kissed his anus,gay or not gay?
Harvard dudes are totes gay.
How the hell do you think I got to Boston Ricpic? I came from a poor family with no ties to anything. As my pop would say, I woudn't get anywhere on my good looks.
I planned my escape at the age of 9. I wasn't going to be wearing orange in November and killing deer, Drum Corps participant traveling all over the country, Madison Youth Symphony, Straight A's, fag in the 80's, repressive and outcast in the midwest. I even got straight A's in gym-I was very agile and coordinated.
I mean, hello, I was the perfect Harvard undergrad minority.
At the age of 17 I drove to Mass with a friend. We would rate the hotness of guys in the cars that always passed us...because we were midwest. We stayed overnight at Niagara Falls and I was verklempt. When we hit the Mass border and the hotness rating hit the roof and I knew i was home.
And then we went to a gay bar across from Fenway, The Metro (I had a fake id from a drum corps friend in NJ-no pic needed back them, I am old), and none of the Sox fans said a word, because everyone in the Metro line was buff. Madonna's vogue was playing at the club and I was in heaven....strike a pose and I did and never looked back.
When I arrived I realized I was like among 50 other losers. The rest of them attended Choate, Exeter, etc, while I attended Waunakee High. I was like an affirmative action white loser student...and I knew it everyday.
I was attending Harvard when Sullivan was obtaining his Phd. He was hot then....times have changed...and he was a total bitch.
That degree has made me lots of money and I am finally fab!
Group hug.
And that's why Boston Sucks!
I've been to Boston for a visit. I enjoyed the trip, but I would never want to live there. Winter is too long. Sept-May. No way. and yeah - lots of gay. Lots of gay, lots of gray. NTTAWWT. Lots of tight parallel parking. Great food. Wonderful flowers that don't grow in the semi-arid section of the nation where I live. Really a fun town to visit, even though in May it was cool and rainy. Walked the legs off and didn't bother with a car. mastered the train and soon enough was asked how to get around. Ha - tourist fooled em.
The other nifty thing about Boston - you can ski the snow-junk-avalanche-mound.
in July.
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