Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Negative Words And Sounds Can Hurt Water's Feelings.

You cannot make this stuff up.  Plus, shouting at rice could make it go bad.  Article here.

And no, the link does not go to The Onion or a Rick Springfield video.

46 comments:

YoungHegelian said...

Jeezo-peep, Haz!

If the Gwennie sez it, doesn't that count as "the science is settled" for you?

You are such a scientific troglodyte! Uh-uh-uh, don't you deny it, mister!

Amartel said...

Next time, please link to the Onion or a Rick Springfield video. Thank you.

ricpic said...

"Consciously uncoupling here, Boss."









You didn't get it? Think Cool Hand Luke.

ndspinelli said...

This woman is a word my bride doesn't allow me to say.

edutcher said...

Her and Cameron Diaz.

If they're making a "Dumb and Dumber" sequel...

Lydia said...

You gotta love that Gyneth's website is named "goop".

And about where it came from: "It is a nickname, like my name is G.P., so that is really where it came from. And I wanted it to be a word that means nothing and could mean anything."

means nothing and could mean anything -- perfect.

john said...

She was probably referring to polywater, which does have those unique properties.

Shouting Thomas said...

Nothing can beat Sheryl Crow's "one sheet of toilet paper" crusade.

That's a fish taco, fer sure!

Amartel said...

Clearly, Ms. Paltrow is not the only one who needs a filter between thought and expression.

Known Unknown said...
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Known Unknown said...

Poor Gwenyth!

Michael Haz said...

This is why her live is more difficult that a soldier's. According to her.

Michael Haz said...

life, not live. Duh.

KCFleming said...

She is gonna make some charlatan really rich.

Damn, I need to come up with an updated form of Homeopathy.

HydroCalme
Water borne of artisan wells, then kept 50 meters below the earth's surface, untouched by negative human energy. Then lovingly resurfaced by Buddhist monks, and bottled chanting transformative prayers of peace. Transported by meditating pilots and drivers to a background the heartbeat of a pregnant dolphin, delivered straight to your door, wrapped in a swaddling quilt made by retired nuns.

$25.00 for 16oz.

Rabel said...

This deserves further investigation. Ima gonna fill the bathtub, sit in it, and make some poot bubbles to gauge the reaction from my friend the water.

I'll have video up later today.

Gwinnie would have tried this but I'm pretty sure she has never pooted.

Amartel said...

Haha, Rabel. No peeing in the pool, please. Ultimate insult! (To the water).

KCFleming said...

I drive water simply mad by being passive aggressive.

I take a cup and fill it half way, then pour some out, then add some, then pour it all out, the add some more.

I bring it to my mouth and then ...stop.
Put it down.
Then try again, and stop.
Then sip, and spit it out.
Then gargle.
Then guzzle.

Water is soooo pissed off when I am done, it doesn't even notice that I have taken $80 from its wallet.

Icepick said...

Paltrow was borne into money, and has made ridiculous amounts on her own, with little effort. Why WOULDN'T she think that every dumb idea that comes into her head is brilliant?

Unknown said...

Better be nice to water, because water is nice to you.

Unknown said...

We look forward to your finding, Rable. which begs the question --How does Gwen go tinkle in the toilet? Perhaps she pees in branwdo?

Michael Haz said...

@POIMD - Is HydroCalme available gluten free and not made in a well where there were peanuts?

Trooper York said...

I know the girl that cleanses Gwyneth's colon.

I used to tell her "So Gwynnie gives you a lot of shit. Eh?"

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

I have an old friend who, back in the day, used to drive a car riddled with bullet holes. "Bernice" was the car's name. We would often mock poor Bernice. After all, she was funny looking and the old gal had issues. All of his cars had issues. So... after a while...

My friend would remind all who entered to be nice to Bernice while we were in the car, or in the car’s presence. To this day, for a reason that perhaps signifies a lingering superstition or karma (or Japanese science) I am kind and gentle to my car. Whenever frustration occurs, and the desire to blame the car in anger is in order, I calm down and remember poor old Bernice.
I'm attempting to do this with humans too. and now -thanks to Gwen's wisdom -- water. Truth be told I've always been fond of water anyway, so this shouldn't take much effort.

That said, we do know what fish do in it.

Trooper York said...

She even had a video of Gynnie getting her colon cleansed. Talk about goop!

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

I have punched and kicked the crap out of water...and it remains water. I have no idea if that hurt its feelings.

But like Candyman, if you say a certain name three times on this blog, bad comments follow!

Icepick said...

You didn't get it? Think Cool Hand Luke.

Also works with The Shawshank Redemption. Not sure if it works for women's prison movies. Someone should ask Trooper, as our subject matter expert.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KCFleming said...

Notice her other quote?

"“My hope is, as we get out of it, we’ll reach the next level of conscience,” she concluded."

Conscience?
Consciousness?
Consanguinity?
Constantinople?
Whatever.

Amartel said...

"Paltrow was borne into money"

I like this image of Paltrow borne aloft by her handlers into stacks of money as she speaks positive words of encouragement to water.

Karen of Texas said...

Emoto's water crystal pictures are beautiful ... but I've always had a thing for snowflakes.

Just sayin'.

Icepick said...

Amartel, I wish I could say that was my intent, as it's good, but it was sadly just a misspelling on my part.

Karen of Texas said...

I really think dear Gwyn missed the point of Emoto's work if her take away is that water's feelings get hurt... Maybe I should read the article.

Trooper York said...

Second best Women's Prison movie of all time "Chained Heat" with the great Linda Blair and the one and only Sybil Danning!

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Apropos of Troop's request for post topics, Gwyneth is a perfect example of someone who was assumed based on looks to be twenty times more intelligent than she is.

Trooper York said...

I think her mother was and is much hotter that this bag of bones.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Paltrow just has this totally snooty attitude. It's almost like she has this constant smile struggling to get through a face-mask of snooty, petty, judgment and condescension.

I hope it wasn't her idea to do Shallow Hal, because that's the kind of movie that makes you question whether someone can have a true, decent personality that shines through whatever externals they've been trained to work with. In her case, my guess would be no. So someone else should have done it, even though she wore a fat-suit well.

Courtney Cox.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

The smile looks strained, the eyes are winced. It's like the phony glow knows that the snootiness will strangle it on its way out.

She's sad. If you only knew how hard being a bitch is on her.

Actually, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio played that problem out effectively in The Abyss. And no one else ever will or ever has since.

There were some nice ta-tas in that flick, too, but it was during a CPR scene so technically we shouldn't have appreciated.

ndspinelli said...

Her mother is hotter and a much better actress. She and Duvall were superb in The Great Santini. "Ok, sports fans, rise and shine!"

Chip Ahoy said...

I do not understand why she garners such hate just for crazy things. I saw her on a show with Mario Batelli traveling around Spain trying different things. She came off very friendly and pleasant and interesting and a good friend besides.

That water having memory thing has a lot of adherents. I knew a guy who was way into it. I didn't understand what he was saying but he sure was sincere. Something about water being filtered by reverse osmosis, the molecular arrangement being changed by force and it returning to its original arrangement. Until then I had considered only three states. But he insisted water shows signs of a form of memory at the molecular level.

This concludes my contribution to water-memory, Gwyneth Paltrow being a silly bitch discussion.

I got nuth'n.

XRay said...

"The Great Santini"

Great movie. Full of the right stuff.

One of the last we'll see perhaps.

Revenant said...

Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Negative Words And Sounds Can Hurt Water's Feelings

That explains why the water around New York and New Jersey is so nasty, I suppose.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

I like the water in Jersey!

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Chip Ahoy, I wonder why the sudden negative stuff about Paltrow too.

Of course, what is not to like about traveling around with Batali in Europe and eating? It would be hard to screw that up.

KCFleming said...

" I wonder why the sudden negative stuff about Paltrow too."

Human deities (celebrities) are always brought low by the idolaters.
What is built up must be torn down.

She flew too close to the sun.

That is, she seemed too perfect, and the the divorce was even better than yours, a conscious uncoupling, that comment marked her for a take-down, to become merely human again.

Trooper York said...

Here's the thing. It is a lot of fun travelling around with Batali and tasting a bunch of good food.

But then when go into the crapper to throw it up.....that's just not cool.