A Few Questions For Pat Benetar

Who among us hasn't listened to Hit Me With Your Best Shot?  And really, who among us hasn't sung along, whether in a bar, or on a treadmill at the health club, or in the back of a police car, or maybe just in the car while driving home and hoping not to be pulled over for yet another DUI ticket?  It's a catchy song.

The lyrics are, um, interesting, and I have a few questions for Pat Benetar.

When you said "Well you're the real tough cookie with the long history"  why didn't you just walk away.  A tough cookie? How did you think that a person like that would lead to a good and healthy relationship?  Or was it literally a tough cookie, one that you were having some difficulty chewing?

"Put up your dukes, lets get down to it!"  Were you soliciting a fight?  Was it with a guy or a gal, if that isn't too personal?  Or did you mean a different thing by "let's get down to it"?

No, I think you meant a fight, because look here where you said "Why don't you hit me with your best shot!"  Or maybe not a fight-fight, this does sound like you're looking for some masochistic behavior, doesn't it.  You were looking to get spanked, may be slapped around a bit before rough sex.  Hey, that's cool; we're all grown-ups here.  Whatever floats your boats.

"Before I put another notch in my lipstick case you better make sure you put me in my place."

Pat, have you considered how a thing like this might anger some women?  First of all, the lipstick reference, some women will be offended by that because they detest the use of lipstick and makeup and such non-feminist things.  At the same time, other women will like that as a subtle reference to the lipstick lesbians that are a kind of unicorn in the dating world these days (so I'm told, cough cough). Clever, having it both ways.

"Put me in my place"  See, there's a troubling part of the lyric.  It supposes that your place is inferior to someone else's place.  And someone thinks that he/she/it/them is/are in some way superior to you.  Unless you meant "my place"  is tied up on a bed or in a basement somewhere, part of that whole bondage thing.

Okay, you are putting on lipstick before being tied up and spanked.  I think it's clear now that that's what you  meant by your lyrics.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

In fact, I'll remember that while I watch this great performance.  Thanks for the *memories*.