Saturday, January 11, 2014

Faking Bad

I'm trying an experiment: I have an improved product and want market it via the Internet.  Don't laugh until you hear me out.

My "product" is something I formulated for making fake spills. I developed a recipe for faking most any clear or colored liquid and semi-solid. The materials are a polymeric plastic and a secret coloring method. I add trash for context. Here is an example of a liquid spill: a driveway disaster I fooled people with in my neighborhood: My neighbor actually cussed upon seeing this as he rushed back inside to get something to clean it up -- the mess oozing down his driveway -- before he realized it was fake:

oil slick
Here is another, a ketchup spill. You can buy these on the Internet. Mine are better because I pay attention to texture. For example, spilled ketchup or mustard doesn't flow and spread like oil or water -- it's more like paste. I'm also constantly tweaking my formulas to get the colors and "look" as realistic as possible. I understand the chemistry behind these creations.
Ketchup
This is not an offer to sell at this point...I'm just trying to gauge interest. My goals are simple. I want to recoup investments in time and material. As a stretch goal, I'd like to make enough money to buy myself a new iPhone (I lost my other one last summer in a boating accident).

I can also do custom spills where the customer provides the container and I match the color of the spill. I can also scale-up any spill to make similar spills (but each is a snowflake!).

April Fools Day is coming sooner than you think.

More examples of spills after the jump. None of these are available, but I can make more. Please make a comment or suggestion.

Melted Freezer Pop
Beer Slob
Wine Slob

Wino Detritus
Chocolate Milk

Got Milk?

Soy Sauce

16 comments:

john said...

Did you see the write up about the fake vomit museum?

Unknown said...

Evil genius. They look real and that sort of stuff is great for gag gifts and tricks on the boss.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I think it's a great idea, and I wish you good luck, and I promise not to spill the beans.

Michael Haz said...

That is some good spillage.

I was reading an article in Consumer Reports yesterday about the differences between the pictures of fast food items and how they actually look when purchased. A sidebar describes what food photographers use to make food look appealing.

Your ketchup made me thing of that. I wondered if food photographers wouldn't be a marker for your inventions.

Chip Ahoy said...

I think H.O. train enthusiasts would take an interest in this, lakes, ponds, little vignettes of workers at an industrial spill, truck turned over and such. They tend to get carried away with reconstructing realism.

[I LOVED the displays of food samples offered in Japanese restaurants, sometimes you stand there studying them to see if perhaps they are real. Sometimes they are real I think, a sample put in a small window every day. That is where I first saw the spills. ]

Feedback: these are jokes, right? Everyone I know loves jokes. So there's that.

They are also a design element. A home design element. I know of nobody who would accept this as a home design element. They're all too pissy and against cute things.

So they are jokes then that are taken out, joked with, then put away for another joke another surprise another day.

Not left out as design element.

It is the bottle of nail polish you set on your wife's vanity once a year for fun.

The bottle of bleach you toss on top of the laundry pile once a year or two here and there, until perhaps bleach is actually banished from the house.

end feedback

I have such a thing with tiny plastic black ants. I started with 100 of them and I like leaving them places, sometimes a little line of them to freak somebody out momentarily. It gets them every time. Better than you'd expect. Man, have I got a lot of mileage out of those silly plastic ants. The thing is, they're so tiny. I leave them on counters where people work and they're taken for tiny spiders and people shriek.

Paddy O said...

If you took yourself more seriously, you could call it art. The taking seriously part would be writing up some obnoxious paragraph of pomo observations.

It's hard to fake being earnest enough to be a serious artist. That's why I could never pull it off.

But the difference between gag and art is the difference between $3.99 and $39,999.

All this to say, I like it. I think the idea of custom spills would be a great selling point too.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

If you want to go for art, might I suggest a spilled Piss Christ?

Paddy O said...

I could see novelty desk sets too.

Spilled milk, with a milk bottle and a little wooden sign that says, "Don't cry."

chickelit said...

@Paddy O: Thank you for the feed back. They don't have to be real real. The idea of juxtaposing two real and unreal elements is possible. A radioactive martini using glow-in-the dark colorant? Or a peppermint twist in something you wouldn't expect? But the realism is a place to start before getting all abstract and shit.

chickelit said...

The otter pop one is still on the desk of a San Diego attorney as far as I know. Markets saturate fast though.

chickelit said...

Spilled milk, with a milk bottle and a little wooden sign that says, "Don't cry."

Some of them are quite puerile and could sell at middle school fundraisers. I know that sort of mentality.

deborah said...

lol Paddy.

Unknown said...

You have the fake spills mastered. What you need is a website. Your idea of marketing towards April fools day is a good start. Perhaps photograph clever and inspiring ways to fool people with your items?

deborah said...

of course you have to do a gallon of paint over-turned.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Get your stuff on Pinterest and Etsy.

I would have paid a lot of babysitting money when I was a teenager for fake vomit on days when I wanted to get out of school. : )

MamaM said...

Imagination and beyond, El Pollo!. These represent a wonderful take on (and take off on) the "things are not as they seem" meme sold by your fogblather.

Back in the day, (early sixties?) we used to receive the Spencer Gift Catalog in the mail, and I'd go through it with avid interest, turning down the corners of the pages showing things I thought I might be able to convince my dad to buy. Personalized pencils and a folding battery powered fan were among the goods he sprung for, though we left the wonders of nudie icecubes for the multiple Tituses and Tit-users of this world to order.

Hell, if you could get a leg up into the Chuckie Cheeze, Dave and Busters, Great America and carnival prize market, you'd be home free. Going for the gold and finding a niche in the online arena of specialty goods would be a great start, while the real clean-up and golden ring awaits those who hawks their goods to those who step right up to ride the merry go round, throw the dice, hit the bottle, game the game and claim their prize!