This excerpt from Slate ties in well with Haz's 9:30 AM Six Harsh Truths:
"Amy (not her real name) sat in my office and wiped her streaming tears on her sleeve, refusing the scratchy tissues I’d offered. “I’m thinking about just applying for a Ph.D. program after I graduate because I have no idea what I want to do.” Amy had mild depression growing up, and it worsened during freshman year of college when she moved from her parents’ house to her dorm. It became increasingly difficult to balance school, socializing, laundry, and a part-time job. She finally had to dump the part-time job, was still unable to do laundry, and often stayed up until 2 a.m. trying to complete homework because she didn’t know how to manage her time without her parents keeping track of her schedule.
I suggested finding a job after graduation, even if it’s only temporary. She cried harder at this idea. “So, becoming an adult is just really scary for you?” I asked. “Yes,” she sniffled. Amy is 30 years old.
In 2000, psychologist Jeffrey Arnett coined the term “emerging adulthood” to describe extended adolescence that delays adulthood.* People in their 20s no longer view themselves as adults. There are various plausible reasons for this, including longer life spans, helicopter parenting [parents that hover, controlling all aspects of their child's upbringing], and fewer high paying jobs that allow new college grads to be financially independent at a young age.
Millennials do have to face some issues that previous generations did not. A college degree is now the career equivalent of what a high school degree used to be. This increases the pressure on kids to go to college and makes the process more competitive. The sluggish economy no longer yields a wealth of jobs upon graduation...
The big problem is not that they think too highly of themselves. Their bigger challenge is conflict negotiation, and they often are unable to think for themselves. The overinvolvement of helicopter parents prevents children from learning how to grapple with disappointments on their own. If parents are navigating every minor situation for their kids, kids never learn to deal with conflict on their own. Helicopter parenting has caused these kids to crash land..."
This is a first world problem, and if things are bad now, imagine this troubled generation moving up the rungs of power in our hyper-tech, socially net-worked society.
23 comments:
Life's not easy. It is even more difficult if you are infantile and have no marketable skills.
Now quit whining and get a job. Any job, bitch. (Yeah, that is a Jesse reference - sorry.)
The problems of the kids of the wealthy. This attitude has even begun to triumph in places like the Philippines.
What can you do?
I spent my wasted youth in San Francisco. Had a whale of a good time and paid my own bills.
It's not that difficult.
Yo, magnets!
ST, I imagine perfectionism has a lot to to do with these over-coddled kids.
I wandered all over the country, and had a good time, always paid my own way, managed to save money, too.
I guess times have changed, however. Certainly being raised and taught by people who went through the Depression and WWII (the big one) made a difference.
Kids these days have no idea how to cope, I guess.
Too bad they weren't allowed to keep score when they were kids.
I remember kids raking leaves, shoveling snow, pulling weeds, etc to make some money. Young kids, ten years old (some younger). What happened to that sense of entrepreneurship and work ethic?
This article, about extended adolescence, goes right along with the amazed outrage in the Liberal/Progressive circles about the Duck Dynasty Robertson clan. Phil and his wife got married while still teenagers and faced adulthood together. They live a life of hard work, family and self reliance. Did they have some hard times....yup. Life is not easy as Sixty so apty put it. And John Wayne also said. Life is hard. It is even harder when you are stupid.
Getting married young. Having children before the age of 20. Moving out on your own or with your young spouse and making a life of your own. Not leaning on Mommy and Daddy until you are in your 30's. All of these things were common and ordinary in the past. They are also common and ordinary in most of the world.
The libs were all aghast at the Robertson's choice of lifestyle.
However.....when the feces hits the oscillating mechanism and the wheels come off of western society, who is going to be able to cope? People like the Robertsons, or wussy men and infantile women raised by helicopter parents in our great progressive society. I place my bet on the Robertsons and their kindred spirits.
"...raking leaves, shoveling snow, pulling weeds, etc...What happened to that sense of entrepreneurship and work ethic?"
It's been my experience that those particular entrepreneurial activities will lead to ridicule and disrespect by people such as you, EBL.
Obama to Americans: You don't deserve to be free.
Emotionalist Paul Krugman Keynesian Marxism is the ultimate extended adolescence.
"College teaches you how to be a snob."
I first heard that years ago, back when I was in high school, from a friend's mom who never went to college but who was her own kind of snob, nevertheless.
Perhaps something similar can be said about spending too much time on the internet and getting old.
Unfortunately, the problem of extended adolescence is not at all limited to those in their twenties and thirties. The problem is deeply embedded in the ideological teachings of the left wing, which all default to dependence on the state, and affects people of all ages who are in thrall to these teachings. Mature in body, adult in license, sometimes even sophisticated in taste for the finer things but utterly, tragically immature and insecure in themselves otherwise, convinced that cradle to grave social engineering is a necessity.
raking leaves, shoveling snow, pulling weeds, etc...What happened to that sense of entrepreneurship and work ethic?"
Not allowed anymore. The girl in Oregon who wanted to sell mistletoe to raise money for her braces. Nope! Can't do it. But....she IS allowed to beg for money on the streets.
Forget trying to set up a lemonade stand, sell Girl Scout cookies from your driveway or even have a garage sale in some places. The government will be on you like stink on....well...you know.
Today's youth need to read this article:
6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person..
True as hell, and most of them lack any such skill or awareness.
She's terrified of falling short of the insane expectations that were pumped into her at home, in school and by the general society. Would it be a catastrophe if she managed to get a job, any job, which would put her in a position to be an independent autonomous adult? And then of course hold that job. A so-called "bad" or menial job that paid enough so that she could cloth, feed and house (if only by sharing a roof) herself. Then she'd be an adult. Then she'd be on her way. One step at a time climb Mount Fujiyama. Or maybe make it up only half way. Not a disgrace. She's petrified because she's bought the lie that anything less than fame and fortune is a shanda (disgrace).
The delicate flower in the Slate article needs to quit going to therapy, and get a job. Any job.
If she can't find anything, then she needs to create a job. Either start some sort of business--make cookies and sell them--or else go somewhere and work for free.
She could shovel snow for old ladies in her neighborhood.
Fewer high paying jobs? How about fewer jobs (relative to the size of the work-force) period.
Median incomes keep falling. The percentage of people in the labor force keeps falling, because the government doesn't want to acknowledge that the real unemployment rate is over ten percent and has been there for almost half a decade now. We're still millions of full time jobs short of where we were when this latest downturn began. (It was a little over five million full-time jobs short as of early summer 2013, I've stopped following the numbers since then.)
Which is to say, it isn't a matter of going out and getting a job. But then, this is what self-styled conservatives want to believe, which is that the real problems with the American economy are that the people out of work are just lazy grifters. Except for when they want it the other way and wish to blame everything on Obama and the Democrats. Democrats and "progressives" haven't exactly cornered the market on hypocrisy.
This rings so true. I have a grand-niece, 26, university graduate and utterly clueless.
Her parents are "find your bliss" types. Ash applied to med school three years ago and was not accepted. Since then, it's been "oh, poor me" whild living in her parents' home, and driving a car they provided. No initiative. No sense of trying a different career or job. Working sometimes as a waitress, then quitting because it interfered with time she wanted off.
Now she works for AmeriCorps, and complains that she is smarter than everyone around her and should be given a better role on her team.
Totally fucking lost. Her plan for 2014, as posted on Facebook: "Maybe I'll just get knocked up" by whichever guy she drags into bed this week.
My wife and I just want to scream at her, but relatives aren't allowed to say things hurtful, according to her mommy and daddy.
And there's the problem.
About the author:
"Brooke Donatone, LCSW
Staff Social Worker, NYU
Education: SUNY Stonybrook, MSW
Training: Training Institute for Mental Health - Psychoanalytical training; International Trauma Studies Program, NYU; NY State Ericksonian Hypnotherapy Institute
Areas of Expertise: Clinical Hypnosis: Hypnosis for chronic pain and chronic illness symptoms
LGBTQ Liaison and Gender Team Leader
Gender: Female
LGBTQ Safe Zone Trained"
I would be willing to chip in on buying a session with Ms Donatone for The Crack Emcee. Or vice versa.
Scenes we'd like to see.
Capsule summary of article:
"Students who seek counseling often have mental problems".
Damn, stop the presses for that one.
Forget the who, where, when, what, why, and how...Rev wants the skinny, and he wants it nowww :)
That's some bio.
The answer will always be "blame your father".
The helicopter parents will not see this is their kid.
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