The celebration of Festivus begins with Airing of Grievances, which takes place immediately after the Festivus dinner has been served.
Frank Costanza: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!
Frank Costanza: Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!
Don't forget to include guests (newcomers) to your list of people you may have grievances about, especially if you have a boss of a company that really stinks.
Frank Costanza: You, Kruger. My son tells me your company stinks! You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...I lost my train of thought.
If you have to, write your grievances out on note cards beforehand, just in case you lose your train of thought.
I've got a lot of problems with you people!
37 comments:
Lem goes out of town and leaves us here. No cookies, no coffee, nothing. What kind of Christmas cheer is that?
In some parts you put the MW on the jello mold.
Cant do that with mayo.
Have you ever seen jello mold?
Did you check the cupboards, Haz?
I see Ran Paul is doing a Festivus airing of grivances on twitter. He better be doing them himself w/o the aid of Wikipedia. Im just sayng.
I'm wary of asking asking people here to lend me their laptop to post something. I may do that yet later today.
The cupboards are bare. Nothing.
Jell mold? Yes, I've seen it. One of my grandmothers made jello mold with sliced radishes and green onions in it. And a mixture of miracle whip and cream to pour over it. In Minnesota this is known as spicy food.
A beloved client likes to collect cookbooks and display them proudly. Shelf after shelf of cookbooks. She reads the cook books too, but she doesn't cook at all.
In the Midwest, it isn't traditional dinner without something from the M and J family: Meat. Mayonnaise. Marshmallows. Jell-O.
Lookie there - I just made salad and casserole.
Thing is, I love you people. Some more than others-- but overall, I don't have any complaints.
We could use a nice Darcy Christmas post.
When it comes to the airing of grievances, it's best to let the professionals do it.
I used to like many of you, but then I read the ingredients of that food atrocity. Someone alert James Lileks - that recipe belongs in one of his books.
Makes me thankful I prepare my own food.
So yeah, I have some problems with you people! Where is that aluminum pole? Feats of strength? Bring it on! LET'S RUMBLE!!!
You've seen a jello mold.
Have you ever seen a cow fly?
Here's a few of them.
Tri-color Jello molds are up there in the expert category of difficulty.
I'm mad at you people. How come Chip Ahoy or Palladian or Pastafarian haven't posted a how-to-make-it Jello mold recipe?
They're letting down the team.
Can someone explain to me the appeal of Sandy Duncan? That's my main grievance. That someone who not only doesn't appeal to me but has no discernible talent made it big. And I didn't. If Sandy Duncan's dead I apologize...in advance. If not, not.
Here's the thing, if someone doesn't appeal to me but has a discernible talent and makes it big that doesn't cause me grief. Donald Sutherland. No appeal but I guess he can act. But with Sandy Duncan there's nothing. No there there. No personality. No talent. Nothing. And yet once she was everywhere. This I do not get. Do you?
Technically speaking, Jello (gelatin) is a meat product, too.
Where did Pastafarian go?
The appeal of Sandy Duncan is that she has an extra hole to bang.
You can really give an eyeful if you know what I mean.
Most guy's just imagine banging the perkiness right out of her. Just sayn'
My grievance is with that load Chris Christie. He is the Rex Ryan of Politics. Why can't he just go away.
I mean he just changed his stance on immigration. Now he wants to give state tuition to illegal aliens. You know to make it easier to take jobs from regular native born Americans.
He is the rhinoest of rhino's. I am afraid he is going to suck all the air out of the coming election campaign as the media pumps him up as their favorite Republican.
Sandy Dennis plays her best in those roles that she is cast as a psychotic, a complete nutjob.
But then, she's not really acting at all.
Oh, it's Duncan, not Dennis. Sorry.
Easy to confuse them.
Sandy Duncan is a nutjob too.
She once tied up Bert Convey and covered his penis with tabasco sauce and lit it on fire in the dressing room of the Match Game.
You could look it up.
Thing is, I love you people.
So tired of April desperately stalking me.
Missed opportunities.
Seize the day.
PHX - I know. I'm tired of my desperate stalking of you. My obsession must be unleashed.
Get that song out of my head!
Please, do tell. :D
Please, do tell. :D
Can someone explain to me the appeal of Sandy Duncan?
I could explain it, but this is a family blog. Manson family, sure, but still family. Trooper is going in the right direction, though the missing eyeball is an urban legend.(
Also, she's from Texas. That always counts for something, even if she doesn't have gigantic hair.
Loss of vision due to a tumor is very different than the actual loss of an eyeball.
But Trooper is a Jack Elam impersonator, so his eye tends to glaze over when we get on this subject.
But Trooper is a Jack Elam impersonator,
LOL
I have two grievances:
Pasta never stops by
Trooper hasn't given us a Sherlock post in a while
I will get right on that.
I will be changing the subject of the post though.
Right now I am working on my Joey Gallo posts.
Thanks, Twinky-poo.
I think Sandy Duncan was cheerful. And who knows, maybe she doesn't understand it either.
Wait, I do have a grievance that has nothing to do with any of you people. I realized yesterday that I was just pissed off at the TV show "Defiance" (the one with aliens in an 'old west' town on a terra-morphed Earth). I get that any 'old west' town has to have the plucky madam with the heart of gold running the brothel and local watering hole, and I've got no problem with that, but any adventure show with legs really ought to be so family-friendly that it squeaks... and have some adventure in it while it's at it.
And this does so have to do with Sandy Duncan because some writers also with no discernible talent, made it big and I didn't.
I'd have at least known that if someone wants to have a show appeal to the widest possible audience that it shouldn't be boring and shouldn't offend my mother.
~~But it grieves my heart love
To see you tryin' to be a part of
A world that just don't exist.
It's all just a dream, babe,
A vacuum a scheme, babe
That sucks you into feelin' like this~~
From my essay "Bob Dylan's Grievances"
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