printable posters

Via metafilter, a gallery of printable posters. There are a lot of them at freevintageposeters. Tons of posters available for free.  It is not clear what they have in mind as far as printing goes. It does not say over there, I imagine you instruct your printer for whatever size it is capable. Or maybe print them in sections. I don't know.

Let's see.

Metropolis: No posts matching the query: metropolis.

Would have thought they'd have that. Try again.

Cleopatra: No posts matching the query: cleopatra

Would have expected that too, for the movie. Try again.

Ramses: No posts matching the query: ramses
Tut: No posts matching the query: tut
pyramid: No posts matching the query: pyramid
sphinx: No posts matching the query: sphinx
Cairo: No posts matching the query: cairo
mummy: No posts matching the query: mummy

I'm starting to doubt  the efficacy of this search feature.

Egypt:

Yay! Ugh. Those are really bad. That woman does looks very familiar. They all look alike. Egyptian beauties must have been a dime a dozen. I painted that woman. Oh man, this picture is really bad. Don't print these. These are terrible. We can do better ourselves. 

This woman is so familiar it is as if I know her personally. A lock of her hair covers a large gold disc earring. I painted that. Her arm is around her husband's shoulder. Her face is iconic Egyptian beauty. Her headdress is standard, her jeweled necklace collar I've painted so many times it is not even funny.  

It is not funny.

I drew and painted four variations of her in varying degrees of completeness, one without a competed eye just to be disturbing in one composition. All four kneeling down holding flowers and cups and having a little gathering dressed up like this in their pleated linen and elaborate wigs and jewelry, lots of parallelism, one of the heads turned back in conversation, white background, broken, antiqued lightly, all that and still very plain. And large. It dominates a living room.

But it really reminded me of another woman, Lady Thepu. In reverse. I want to tell you about her.

Toni has two of my paintings. Thepu was the very first plaster instigated by Toni. She gave me a book. Showed me a book that she owned and I flipped out. A proper flipping out. True excitement. She read my excitement as a force to be stopped with, 

"Here! Take it already." 

I think it is the best thing that anybody ever gave me spontaneously like that. It affected me deeply. This museum book is the best book I have ever seen on this subject. Its photos are large. It is my largest book, hardly fits anywhere, but then thin. Very thin. Large and thin. It shows the Egyptian collection of Brooklyn Museum and it is splendid.

It is my 2nd favoritest Egyptian picture book of all time, a lot of pictures, good ones too,  and hardly any words to mess it up. Just enough. It is worth a million dollars. 

You can buy it for 26 cents on Amazon.

And even better with shipping on Abe.

My copy is damaged, I might just buy all of them and corner the market, I meant, buy one and have a better copy. 

I couldn't believe Toni just handed me this book. I'm telling you, that impressed me. So much I made a habit of it. I gave away some of my best books because by reaction I could tell they are more excited about them then I am. Doré's illustrated Divine Comedy is one of those. I found it at the Tattered Cover when it was still at the original building in Cherry Creek. Just found it sitting there. Snatched it up and drooled over the illustrations. It is amazing. Dr. Fred saw it at my house and pissed himself. He collects books so I gave it to him. He could not believe this kid was just handing over the book. It was one of those push the book back and forth, take it, no, take it, no, take it, no, take it, okay. 

Then he died.

What a bummer.

Anyway, Toni said, "There is one thing in this book that I really like more than others."  She turned to the page of  Lady Thepu. Of all the treasures, a simple shard.

It is a broken piece of plaster. A classic Egyptian beauty holding a bottle by its neck and holding her hand up in front of her face. As a piece of plaster it is rather depressingly brown, a bit ugly, although the scene depicted lovely and simple. 

I said, 

"I can make that." 

"Really?"

"Easily."

"Really?" 

"It is childsplay. I did that as a child."

"Really?"

You know, for a smart woman sometimes Toni can be a bit thick sometimes. Here is how to do that. To replicate what is seen exactly. (I would not do that, but for her sake) to get the shape, (I would not do that) use modeling clay. Who doesn't have that around? Make a clay fence all around in the shape of the chunk. Regard the shape carefully, its dimensions. The shape of the painting will have to fit on it exactly. That is childsplay. 

Plaster is powder that comes in a bag. 50lb bag. Feels like a rock. Very dense powder. Hardware store. Art supplies from the hardware store. Wire for a hook. 

The plaster in the art appears to be two layers. A rough under layer with organic fibers in it, and smoother top layer. I scooped plaster powder into a plastic bag for mixing. Estimating how much powder it will take to fill a layer filling the area within the clay fence is the most difficult part of the project. There is nothing to go by except estimation of mass. I simply do not know how much it will take. So I guess. And it works. Then a second layer without dry organic fiber that can be broken and busted here and there, chipped off to expose the fiber infused layer underneath after it is painted. To copy the damage seen in the original.

The drawing and painting are nothing. It is drafting more than it is art.

I did not want to destroy my copy in the book by overlaying a grid, but that is how it is drafted. I imagined a grid and superimposed the original onto the fresh plaster point for point within the grid (imagined) to ensure the dimensions are correct and by doing so it becomes apparent the woman has appallingly large man-hands. 

One appallingly large man-hand the other hand is regular lady-hand.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Ancient draftsmen made mistakes too.

Come on. You can check to see if your hand-dimensions are right by using your own hand to your own face. If the woman in the painting put the palm of her hand up to her chin, her hand would cover her whole face, her fingertips up to the top of her scalp. That is wrong. 

Should I paint it wrongly? Yes.

Point for point on the grid (imagined). 

It is odd. The lines that make the eye are deft resulting in a perfect gorgeous Egyptian New Kingdom eye, and the hands fairly clumsily executed as if two different people drew them and third filled them in. The gems in the jewelry are gouged into the plaster so paint puddles in those spots. For the most part the brushwork is light and delicate. 

I know Toni. She needs to have her copy lighter than this. This whole thing is way too dark for her, I'm surprised she chose it, so my interpretation will be lighter than this. A very light touch with antiquing. 

It took one day to assemble the supplies, form the clay fence and pour the plaster into it. A child's watercolor set, and then plaster, and stain, and protective finish from the nearby hardware store. So poured in one day, cured overnight, drawn and painted the next day, stained and finished the next day and I called Toni and showed her the result she pissexxxxxx flipped out harder than I did when she gave me the book. She flipped right out. Over a dumb chunk of plaster. Being hopelessly void of artistic sense, amusingly, she had no idea such marvels are possible by regular people. She became  so excited and worked up she insisted I do more. Insisted. She is every bit the pain the ass. That is what started that whole thing. Her excitement over this chunk of plaster, and I am saying it is really stupid. She loves the thing. Not even framed. She sold paintings. I'm telling you, Toni is the best painting saleswoman, when she gets excited about something she just flat does not shut up and people listen to her too. Her parents bought a painting, and her friends bought paintings. I was going to say Toni is the only person who owns two, but then I recalled one of her friends bought two, a set actually, and the FRB bought two also, although that sale was not Toni's doing. So there are six right there. 

You can buy this book and rip out the page and have a better poster than the free thing offered to print. Other pages in that book would make better posters too. They could be treated respectfully and framed. 

I'm waiting for the sun so I can show you my book, and man, is it beautiful. A memo went around saying no smoking anymore and no taking photos either of the premises or off the premises. So what is one to make of a memo like that?