"Check for yourself to see if there is a warrant for your arrest"

"Concord man accused of not returning VHS rental 14 years later"

"Man Skips Work for 6 Years, No One Notices"

"He was discovered when he was due an award for his service."

A 69-year-old Spanish man was fined this week after officials discovered he hadn't shown up to work for at least six years, the Guardian reports. Ironically, the civil servant was discovered only when the deputy mayor attempted to give him an award for 20 years of "loyal and dedicated" service in 2010. “I thought, where is this man?" the Guardian quotes the deputy mayor. "Is he still there? Has he retired? Has he died?” According to the Independent, a legal case was launched against the man—Joaquín García—that year. It finally wrapped up this week, with García, who retired in 2011, losing an appeal and being issued a fine of approximately $30,000, the Times reports. That's the equivalent of one year's salary after taxes, and was the most that could legally be reclaimed.

The investigation into García determined he hadn't been to his office for at least six years—and possibly as long as 14 years—and had done "absolutely no work" between 2007 and 2010. He was supposed to be supervising the construction of a water treatment plant, the BBC reports. But the water company thought the city council was in charge of García, while the city council thought the water company was in charge of him. A water company manager admitted to not having seen García for years despite having an office across from him. García argues he was bullied and given a job with no actual work to do because of his socialist politics. As for what he did with all his free time: The Guardian reports he became "an avid reader of philosophy and an expert on the works of Spinoza." (A Spanish mayor made taking an afternoon nap the law.)

"Amtrak engineer’s online rants"

"The Amtrak engineer at the controls during Tuesday’s deadly Philadelphia derailment — whose train inexplicably sped up to 106 mph going into a sharp curve — had been ranting online for years about the perils of ­fatigued train ­operators."

“Everyone wants an extension to hours of service to avoid inconvenience, but what will you say when the crew that’s been on duty for long­er than 12 hours accidentally falls asleep and passes a stop signal and rear-ends a loaded hazmat train, killing dozens or hundreds of people?” wrote an online train forum member who identified himself as Brandon Bostian in some posts. (read more)

Elsewhere in related news. The safety controls that could have prevented the train wreck where installed, but the bureaucracy had not turned it on yet. From the NYT...

The Amtrak train that derailed in Philadelphia on Tuesday night was equipped with an automatic speed control system that officials say could have prevented the wreck, which killed eight passengers and injured hundreds. (read more)

"USDA herding internet's celebrity llamas out of the spotlight, owners say"

"The llamas that became a social media sensation while running around a Phoenix-area retirement enclave last month are saying goodbye to the spotlight with one last event on Saturday."

The llama drama that spawned jokes and Twitter hashtags also got the attention of the US Department of Agriculture (USDA), Freund said.

“If this opens up a can of worms where everybody across the country gets shut down doing this, that’s really unfair,” Freund said. “That’s really a horrible thing to do to people who benefit from them.”

A USDA official contacted the llamas’ owners shortly after the 26 February incident, saying they needed a license to showcase their llamas or even allow people to take photos of them, the couple said.

“They just totally destroyed everything I had planned for my retirement,” Freund said. “We’ve taken them to schools before. Now they’re telling me I can’t do anything, even like a photo shoot.”