What did you do in the War Grandma....Black History Month Editon

So many of the major contributions of the African American population has been unjustly ignored in our history. They have not be celebrated for their immense contribution to the war effort. This is of course because of the racist history of the United States that lingers to this very day.

But the election of President Barack Obama has changed all of that. He has with the stroke of a pen declassified the true story of the contributions of black men and especially black woman during the darkest days of World World 2.

The racist nature of most of the high command led them to place black troops in service occupations as truck drivers, stevedores and labor battalions. The female contingent were actually used as domestic servants and laundresses because of the racial attitudes of that time.

However there were some enlightened members of General Eisenhower's staff especially in the OSS the Office of Strategic Services which served as the espionage and intelligence for the American war effort. Under the direction of future celebrity chef Julia Child and OSS agent William Colby a group of brave African American women was gathered together to collect intelligence. Under the guise of being domestic servants and cooks in various venues throughout England before the invasion these brave woman made pancakes and washed skivvies while secretly copying papers and eavesdropping on conversations. But since they had to hide this from bigoted officers in our own army they had to pass on this information in code. Thus they were forced to use the queefing method of transmitting data now known as twatter.

This brave band of sisters came to be known as the Tuskegee Twatters.

(Vages for Victory, The Invention of Twatter By Doris Kearns Goodwin, Simon & Schuster 2009

What did you do in the War Grandma

During the war there was a great premium on secure communications. The British had broken the Germans Code and of course the United States had been reading the Japanese secure communications since before the war. So the Army tried to find a secure manner of communicating.

Most people know of the work of the Navajos in the Pacific as portrayed in the movie "Windtalker's" which depicted their heroic exploits. But very few people know of the secret work of the Woman's Army Corp (WAC's) who were involved in their own top secret operation.

The Army was of course a very misogynistic place during World War Two so when women began to wear the uniform they were ignored and patronized by most of the officer corps. Except for one man. Brigadier General Theodore Roosevelt Jr. knew of the strange ability that some woman had to force air through their vagina's. When he was involved in the planning for D-Day he brought it to the attention of General Eisenhower. Together with OSS spymaster Allen Dulles they trained a series of young woman who could communicate a series of signals in code by forcing air through their naughty bits. This was particularly useful in large meetings that were attended by dubious characters such as the Free French under Giruad and the Soviet Union's representative General Potemkin. The WAC's often served as secretaries or drivers and when they saw a particular note or aside they would communicate by queefing in code. Then General Eisenhower's driver Kay Summersby would write down the message and pass it to her boss so he was in the know without anyone else suspecting.

This system of communications came to be know as twatter.

(Vages for Victory, The Invention of Twatter By Doris Kearns Goodwin, Simon & Schuster 2009)

What did you do in the War Grandma?

One of the most daring missions of the war was attempted in a chateau near Rennes in Brittany. It was in all honesty a suicide mission as a brave band of queefers were sent to act as maids and waitresses to listen and gather intelligence in the dangerous moments before D-Day. The Wehrmacht had gathered together a large group of officers and the mission of the brave queefer’s was to infiltrate and transmit this intelligence without the knowledge or even any suspicion from the German High Command. Since it was so dangerous it was decided to use only convicted criminals who were under a sentence of death who would be parachuted into France and pretend to be domestics at the chateau. 

These twelve woman included a meaty polish woman, a black athlete, a crazed Southern belle and an Italian whore from Brooklyn. The cover story was that they were all stranded there because of the war. Since they all spoke fluent German the Nazi's didn't care as they were more interested in getting some strange than where they came from. They gathered information and queefed out what they found over the short wave radio every night. They were able to do so as the Germans did not understand what they were hearing as they did not pay much attention to the vagina.

Unfornately all of these brave queefers died in the process. Their sacrifice will never be forgotten.

This brave band of queefers will forever be known as the Dirty Coven. 
(Vages for Victory, The Invention of Twatter By Doris Kearns Goodwin, Simon & Schuster 2009)