"Driver’s crash course damages Springfield Safeway, police say"

"Noella Yvonne Fay, 43, of Glenwood had been at the store about 4 p.m. Tuesday and tried to buy $2,200 worth of gift cards, according to Springfield police. Safeway sells gift cards that can be used at a variety of retailers, including Starbucks, Nordstrom and iTunes."

But when Fay’s check bounced, she was refused the sale, which prompted her to become angry and leave the store, police said.

At 12:23 a.m. Wednesday, Fay allegedly returned and parked her sport utility vehicle in front of the store’s west doors, blocking the entrance. She was yelling about wanting her gift cards, police said.

A Safeway employee told Fay she needed to move her vehicle before they could discuss the gift card issue any further. It was then, police said, that Fay drove her sport utility vehicle through the west side of the store.

Fay drove the Tahoe down an aisle almost to the back of the store, police said. She then allegedly reversed the SUV back to the front of the aisle, turned the car toward the deli and drove between the aisle ends and the checkstands. She then drove the vehicle out the east doors and into the parking lot, police said.

She last was seen driving southbound on Pioneer Parkway West. (more)

Snapped

Snapped is cable television show run on Oxygen network narrated by Sharon Martin and I realized by researching the narrator that I've misunderstood the show all along. I've been watching with the wrong attitude and been annoyed with it the whole time. 

Martin's narration drips with sarcasm. She sounds like a teenage mean girl isolating another girl at school. He tone is prosecuting attorney assumes culpability of every movement. 

I wonder each time when I hear her, "Who hired you?" Where tone is so important, why is her tone the one that is bought? Why? Why are they doing this? Come on. Of all the good readers available they pick this sarcastic immature and very mean-sounding woman.

You know, reading aloud is a bit hard to do. You're looking at words well ahead of your mouth and figuring out what tone to express them, and it wears over time, dry lips, throat and the rest. Her tone is consistently pre-teen mean girl sarcastic and incriminating.  

Snapped episodes are popular on YouTube. This is how she sounds.

Okay, just a few seconds of that sample gets on my nerves. Who can stand this? Who would hire this? Why? What is WITH this woman? 

Dude, it's a joke. 

Everyone's in on it and I'm last to discover. It is not sincere. 

I did not realize the shows focus mostly on cases of female murderers. Their victims usually their significant other. Knowing that changes everything. Women viewers are expecting the same type of story each time with differing details. It explains the tone. It really is intended for "can you believe she pulled this crap?" tone throughout. Even when introducing characters, as if people meeting people is planned malevolently.

I ask, what does this woman look like? And I'm answered.

Psych!

Now that's funny! Got me, you bitches. Putting a face to the narrator, Ha! Knocking them out on the red carpet receiving her award for excellence in narration.

I get it now. Cable is funnier than I imagined. This is women being catty as possible and knowing it and reveling in doing it excellently when the facts are all in and the verdicts handed down. The woman is adored for her feminine condemning narration.