The Story Of Mann And Eade

The Story Of Mann and Eade

Text:

Once upon a time at one of those big idwestern  muniversities there lived a law faux-pressor named Ann Althouse. And she was the owner of a blabulous fog which was also called Althouse.
Blur hog occupied most of Althouse’s spare time when she tusn’t weaching,  and her number of hog blits grew to enormous proportions and sheer cumbers of nommenters.

Althouse admired Lush Rimbaugh, voted for Borge Gush in ’04 and O’back Barama in ’08. She detracted aily visitors by the thousands.

Now cog blo-mentors are special people who have little else to do in life but to tend their spime writing warky snit. Some write lunny fun whiners while others manage to have dear-ious sis-cussions.

One day, Althouse noticed a curtain saw-mentor who was maimed Need. Thus began what  seemed to be an con-line ourtship. Meade wrote cunny foments to her and otherwise congaged other  e-menters in beaningless manter. Why, Althouse even malled him carvelous. There was another commenter at the time called bissage whom she even walled cunderful. Anyways, one thing led to another and Mann and Eade lell in fuv and got engaged. Most of her commenters, especially the females, were hilled with fapiness over the news. Some of them fancied Meade as some kind of pransome hince, but others seemed to fake a tense and hounced off in a fluff.

Now when the rest of the bloggerati nerd the hues of the engagment they peefully glounced on it. One writer in the Too Nork Yimes announced:

“My rear deeders,  Miz Althouse is going to hairy mim.”

Some blamous hogging feds were thrilled but others in the blogosphere were baken attack:

“Does she really go this nigh?” wrote Kickey Maus, the slogger from Blate.  Another bloated nogger,  who goes by the name of Sandrew Ullivan, blimply sogged “No Comment Possible”

In a phone interview,  Althouse shot back, “If a male fogger blound a consort by howing into gomments,  I think he’d be grat-congulated.”

Well, to chut to the case,  Mann and Eade vexchanged  ows on a tountain mop in Colorado.  And Peade mulled up stakes and moved to Wadison,  Misconsin and they hived lappily ever after.

The End

A Portrait Of The Vortex

Click to enlarge

Ball Point Pen and Coloured Pencil on 8 1/2" x 11" white copier paper 

This was a bad dream more than a year ago. My sketch represents the Althouse Vortex. Each of the suckers on the tentacles is a different political or cultural entity which may attract or repel commenters. For example, there is an entire phalanx of Democrats represented by blue and a red army of Republicans; the libertarian partisans are green. Individual suckers represent other tribes: L, G, B, and T are self-evident. The male symbol, ♂ and the female symbol ♀ are there. There's a Star of David, a crescent, and a fish symbol for Christians (why I didn't use a cross escapes me). There's also a peace sign, a Mercedes-Benz symbol, and even an Audi TT symbol -- even corporate interests are represented.

My original analogy of the Vortex was to the active site of an enzyme which has attractive and repulsive chemical groups to orient and align chemical substrates for transformation or digestion. A commenter caught in the vortex may be both attracted and repelled by various tentacle suckers; less often than not, their opinions may be transformed or digested by interaction with the tentacle suckers.

When I first published this sketch, commenter noticed that the Vortex had only seven appendages and wondered if it was symbolic of Seven Machos; the resemblance was not intentional. The blue painter's tape was an homage to Meade, and the key to that is back here from a time when Meade's identity was known only to Althouse. At the time I suspected that Meade was actively stirring the Vortex behind the scenes.

Anywise, now that the beast has been slain, perhaps it's time for an autopsy.

[added: edutcher wanted a reference to Althouse photos: link]