We never went to restaurants as a family very much. It was difficult. You see Grandpa was a vampire and Uncle Herman was a seven foot tall monster with bolts in his neck. So we kind of caused a commotion if we went out and we didn't like to cause any commotion or draw attention to ourselves. That never worked out well as my parents proved in that unfortunate episode with the townsfolk with the torches and pitchforks back in the old country.
The only exception was the once a year that Grandpa and Uncle Herman with go out with their banker. You see he was the one who gave us the mortgage on the Munster Mansion and the car loan so we could buy the Munstermobile. The only problem with them was that they were swingers. Now at this time Aunt Lily wasn't into that and they had to come up with something. So Uncle Herman would satisfy the wife and Grandpa would take the husband aside and suck his neck. Or something.
Anyhoo they were always upset when they came home. As soon as they came home Uncle Herman would grab me and take me to my room and start to prove why he was considered a cunning linguist.
You see the only time he like to eat out was when he was eating me out.
What can I say. I loved my Uncle Herman.
