Thursday, March 5, 2020
The Mayor of Munchkin Land.
Last night we were sitting around the dining room table talking about Mini Mike and all the money he blew in this election. Now the money he wasted on consultants and fancy offices and catered sushi lunches were bad enough. I just couldn't stand the nonstop commercial you were getting everywhere you went. Now I don't watch much commercial television. Everything is on a streaming service. But he still snuck in commercials there as well.
I have the Joe Rogan app on my phone. I like to listen to podcasts and he has a bunch of them on his app. Joey Diaz. Mark Maron. Mike Francesa. Adam Corrolla. Joe Rogan is a really smart guy and he optimizes his earnings. Every time you leave one podcast to go to another a brief five second commercial comes on. Sometimes it's another app like the Meditation app or Audible Books or Blue Apron. Don't ya know that every other commercial was for Mini Mikes run for president. You couldn't get away from the midget for fucks sake.
Anywhoo we are talking and we were all coming up with better ways to spend the money. We talked about giving it to Saint Jude's Hospital for Children or funding housing for the homeless or some other worthy causes. I had a different idea
He wasted 522 million dollars. There are about 322 million people in the United States. He could have given every person in the United States a million dollars and still had change left over. Everybody would love him then. He would get the acceptance and love he so obviously wants. Even the horse faced lesbians and the women who don't want to kill their babies would like him. Imagine what that would be like. Everybody or most everybody could pay off their mortgages or student loans or credit card debt. Small businessman could invest in their companies or start new businesses. People could get proper health care and medicine. Old people in nursing homes could upgrade. People wouldn't go to sleep hungry.
Don't get me wrong. A lot of it would be wasted just as much as this campaign did. You have to give to everyone including strippers and gamblers and alkies and even Democrats. Sure some people would blow it on drugs or alcohol or donuts. Still and all think what it would do to the economy. People getting new homes. New cars. New furniture. New breasts. It would be the ultimate stimulus program.
I don't think Mini Mike would do it. Nor would any of the other billionaires who could do it without breaking a sweat. You see he would want to control how people spent the money just like he wants to control how much soda you can drink. The dreams and needs and problems of regular people don't mean anything to the rich elite like Mini Mike. His presidential campaign is like everything else for this douche nozzle.
Mayor Mike came up short.
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4 comments:
As you might imagine, the TV ads here in California were nonstop. Breathing a sigh of relief the last 2 days.
He doesn't want love, he wants power, and you can't buy either one of those things outright. You have to promise something that other people want and get them to believe you. It takes charisma and imagination and authenticity. He's bought politicians before so he thought that would transfer over into an actual election.
The Dems are still promising the same thing they've always promised - security and superiority. Financial security, security of hierarchy, security of credentialed bureaucracies deciding benefits and rights, weighing up historical rights and wrongs and putting their fat thumbs on the scale accordingly. The security of the status quo. And, of course, the superiority of being Not Deplorable. Oh, the unparalleled joy of being Better Than Them! They'll keep banging that drum while sitting on top of a fiery dumpster filled with garbage, stolen valor, broken dreams, and dead bodies. These promises barely rang true before and are now plainly fraudulent to an increasing percentage of the population who realize they've been bamboozled so a bunch of Harvard-adjacent hypocrites and other assorted D.C. barnicles and liars can cling to power. Trump promises and, to the extent allowed by the swamp, delivered, a return to greatness. Results matter. Also, he's so much more entertaining and compelling than any of the flat stanleys running for the Democrats.
The ads were running even after he quit. The last one I saw ended with "Mike can do it!"
Not that it matters, because point taken, but the math on the $1 mill/person does not add up.
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