Marilyn's Diary

Uncle Herman and Aunt Lily were always trying to reach my little Cousin Eddie. He was a problem child. You see he wasn't interested in things that normal kids liked. He wasn't even interested in things monster's kids liked. He only wanted to peek in windows to see women pee and steal their soiled underwear. I think it was a werewolf thing. You see their sense of smell was their main sensual outlet. So he would rob laundry baskets and whack off his tiny lupine peter all night long.

There was however one exception. Eddie loved music. It was the sixties and the California music scene was hopping. There was the Beach Boys. The Jefferson Airplane. The Greatfull Dead. A black guy named Jimi with a big package. And a lot more. This gave my Aunt Lily an idea.

She decided to start a family musical group like the Cowsils or the Von Trapps or something. I should never have taken her to see the Sound of Music. Uncle Herman and Grandpa reluctantly went along and they tried to write up some songs and get a few gigs at various graveyards in Southern California.They were even approached by an agent. He told us he could even get us a TV show like the Monkees. Unfortunately it was between us and another family led by a slutty blond who was banging her step son. I think she blew into the agent's trombone and they got the gig. Aunt Lily was really disappointed and didn't go back to her music until she met her friend Charlie who had all those weird girls like Leslie and Squeaky hanging around his ranch. Grandpa went back to blowing his own horn or something like that there. And Uncle Herman went back to what he loved best.

Strumming my firm teenage nipples.

I loved my Uncle Herman.