Whose your Dada!

So nice of you to visit me here in Scotland. I only wish my good friend Donald Trump could have stopped by when he was in the neighborhood. But the dirty English would not let him visit any of his golf courses so we didn't get a chance to say hello.

I wanted to ask him to do me a favor. I want him to check on my only son. My beloved boy. My David Ortiz. He seem to be in trouble all the time these days.


He just got shot for fooling around with the wife of another man. First I was relieved that he was fooling around with a woman. You see he was the result of a dalliance with a interpreter from the Dominican when I was attending an international conference at the UN. When he was born he had female genitalia. Like most of the boys born in the Dominican. Later his gentalia developed. Medical science can not explain it. But it is true. When they grow hair on their taint the ball sack drops and the pee pee come out and they become boys. If you don't believe me ask your  Uber driver. He can explain it to you.

So now my boy was shot in the back while drinking in a bar after diddling a puta. Finally something I can be proud of. I could not be proud of his baseball career. After all he played for the Red Sox and even in Uganda we know that Boston Sucks. Why couldn't he be a Yankee. I know my good friend George Steinbrenner wanted him on his team. He told me himself when I met him at the annual convention of super villains in Switzerland in 1995  That was were I first met President Trump and he gave me a lifetime membership to all of his golf courses and I gave him a couple of crocodiles to use in that secret pit at Mar Largo for employees that piss him off.

I have to go now. It is time for me to toss the caber. It is not easy being the King of Scotland. I just hope my boy makes me proud.

Oh. One more thing.

WHOSE YOUR DADA!!!!!!!