Restaurant bans MAGA hats

Come to my restaurant wearing a MAGA cap, you aren't getting served.

That should be easy enough, and thanks for the warning, I'll just not wear my MAGA hat when I come in. Oh wait. I don't own a MAGA hat. Oh wait again, I never had any intention of coming in.

It hasn't even happened yet. He's just mouthing off. Showing his intolerance and bigotry and racism, his Little-Nazi attitude, his self-righteous sanctimony for all to see. He's just waving his little flag. Slapping you in the face with his little ... nevermind.

But let's look at the place anyway and see what we're missing by avoiding melting little snowflake mini-dictator fairies like him. And notice we're not disputing who he must serve. His biz wax. He can draw his line wherever he likes no matter how mal-informed or malevolent or just plain stupid.

It hasn’t happened yet, but if you come to my restaurant wearing a MAGA cap, you aren’t getting served, same as if you come in wearing a swastika, white hood, or any other symbol of intolerance and hate.

Wrong, Stupid. It's not the same as wearing a swastika, nor the same as a white hood that Democrats wore to terrorize blacks. And it's not a symbol of intolerance and hate, but his statement is. I should be able to walk in wearing a MAGA hat and not have anyone notice beyond how dashing I look in bold red and how well that goes with gray shirt, were it not for their own intolerance and misinformed hatred. We see it's no coincidence his restaurant is German inspired.

Here's the thing, were I hungry and If I was wearing a MAGA hat, and near his restaurant, and willing to lower my standard for charred food, I'd fold it and put it away for the moment and I'd actually order something from the menu even though everything on it are things that I'm moving away from. I don't even see these things as real food anymore. They're all third and fourth choice things. They're not on the list of things that I buy. I think I'm turning a bit vegetarian and Wursthall salads aren't half as good as my own. No brag, just fact. I can do better blindfolded.

They have over six hundred photos on Yelp and 600 random photos of my own food are better food and better photography. And he's a pro and his customers Silicon Vally elite, and I'm just a regular guy. All the photos are cell phone photos but none of them have the right white balance. For Silicone Valley elitist, their cell phone photography acumen and composing artistry is simply not there and their food choice decisions are poor. If you eat this food regularly over time you will suffer health issues down the line. And that's well established fact. Although delicious, Maillard reaction is cancerous. And that's probably okay in small doses. When everything on the menu relies on Maillard reaction then you are contributing to spreading cancer. The only things on the menu that don't rely on charring are salads and those are treated as afterthought.

I would fit right into the place. But I'd fit in as spy among known political douchebags, intolerant, narrow minded, poorly informed, naturally hateful and racist who don't know that much about healthy food.

It looks like a nice place. And they look like nice people. So, something else is wrong. Youth. Mis-education. Propagandized politically. Perhaps the customers would not agree with the chef-owner's statement. And maybe they would.

Come on! Are they gorgeous, or what?

Right off, I like these people on sight. These people find my conversation interesting. I find their conversation interesting. These are helpful happy and satisfied people. I fit right in and hit it right off. 

Until conversation gets political. I listen. I tolerate abject ignorance then ask, "Where are you getting your information?" They answer. "The news" or, "Online. It's common knowledge." Then I offer something uncommon and leave it at that. They accept me being unusual.

I would eat these things and be happy with them. But I would not seek them out. At this point when I make similar things for myself at home, I feel like I'm cheating myself. Taking short cuts. Not doing the best for myself. And I do that a lot because I am lazy. This is careless lazy food. Apparently they're very successful. 

Take Cacio e pepe spetzel for example.

Spetzel is slipshod pasta made from thick wheat flour batter dropped into boiling water without troubling over forming a hard dough, rolling it out and cutting into some type of form for a specific pasta with purpose of holding a specific sauce viscosity.

Visualize a fat German cook with batter spread on a board and using a knife to slice off an edge of batter and push the line of batter over the edge of the board into a pot of boiling water. They're quite deft at this.

Or using a colander type box with holes large enough to push the batter through the holes into a pot of boiling water. Served with butter and herbs, or with gravy, it's actually fairly good. While pasta is more difficult, more thoughtful, more careful and better. It is not possible to have al dente spetzel. 

I imagine Italians scoff at spetzel. But I don't actually know.

Because with the pasta already made and available on any street and so inexpensive, cacio e pepe is already extremely simple, the whole thing reliant on quality ingredients and technique. It's the same thing as aglio e oleo except specifically heavy on pepper. 

If you crack an egg into this off the heat and add pancetta or bacon then you've got pasta carbonara. 

Three very fast and simple meals that are made quickly with technique that comes from doing it often for a meal that is satisfying as all get out. While this Wursthall restaurant makes it even more simple with spetzel and without the technique that makes Italian versions so amazing. Wursthall dolls it up with hard cheese discs made by sprinkling grated hard cheese onto a grill until it melts and bubbles, darkens and fries. The cheese discs are soft while hot and can be molded around a cup or a bottle and set in a few minutes into a cheese basket, a cheese cup or a cheese disc. 

2:36 video

Immediately you can see ways to doll this up; herbs, vegetables, mushrooms, ham, bacon, chicken, garlic bread, simple but thoughtful and imaginative salad, whatever.

At home, I bring pasta water to the table because I cannot eat this fast enough to avoid it setting as it cools. It's a bit weird pouring water over my meal, but that's what I do.

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