This scene is seared in my memory. For we too had every game known to board gamery. What large family doesn't? Oddly, the game we played most had no board. Yahtzee. In the movie you're able to scan the titles, and yep, we had them all. Except we didn't have Voice of the Mummy. Hadn't even heard of that one. The name of this movie is The Royal Christmastrees.
I meant to say Tannenbaums just now.
There I was minding my own bizwax. Dreaming. When suddenly I heard a tapping, definitely someone rapping, rapping at my chamber door. Boing. Awake. "Coming!"
I can wake up and yell just like that *snap*.
Why do they knock so gently? It really does sound like a bird's beak. But even woodpeckers are a lot louder than this. It's sounds like the kind of bird not made for smashing its beak into doors.
And it takes a l-o-n-g time to go from full sleep horizontal to balancing on my legs and coaxing them to the door.
And there's Santa Clause!
The big fat guy in his power scooter wheelchair who lives way down the hall. And I mean FAT. You should see his front door. It's all beat to shit. The door fights back when it's opened, and his power chair does the opening, so it has deep scratches and chips and metal repairs all over it. What a mess. They're going to have to replace the door when he moves. The door lost the fight. All they have to do is remove the closer but noooOOOOOOOOOooo. It's not even required. The law changed. On account of the place having concrete floors.
"This has been here for hours. I don't know why they don't just knock and let you know that it's here."
I stood there and we chatted awhile. I told him what a great neighbor he is. This is the third time he's helped me similarly.
The box was delivered last week but I wasn't home so it went directly to UPS jail.
That was last Friday when I was returning the Thursday boots. Wrong color. What a bummer! It required I have a little adventure in which I met two beautiful women inviting me to return to their boudoir.
I meant to say return to their shop.
Right when I was expecting the Omega juicer delivery, so I thought the yellow message left on the door was for that.
But then the next day the Omega juicer arrived ahead of schedule at the very moment I was leaving to spring the box from UPS jail.
So I thought the juicer had been sprung from UPS jail.
But then it became clear that the box in UPS jail is the box that Chickenlittle sent and I thought they would just deliver it. But they did'n't. And now I must tell them to spring it from jail and deliver it.
I called them. Through several numbers with menus that do not address my issue, finally found a genuine woman. Somewhere on Earth.
Here's the thing. One must control one's emotion so that nothing negative transmits across the airwaves and wires by way of tone and vocal delivery. Those things come across by sound. I had waited a long time, the situation that makes people impatient and cross. And that is my mental state. That will not do. I must repair my own attitude while on hold.
"Thank you for taking my call."
"But of course, that's what I'm here for."
She asked a few questions and located the box and said, "I'll mark this for re-delivery. But you won't see it for about three days. Working days, so Monday or Tuesday."
With childlike enthusiasm, "OMG! You are the BEST!"
"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha."
She laughed loudly for a very long time. She lost control right there on the phone. She lost all professionalism. It was a delightful sound to hear. I love hearing laughter.
Apparently people call her to bitch all day long and she never hears any such thing as "you are the best."
And here the box is delivered early.
But the guy didn't knock.
I had a $20.00 in my pants pocket waiting for the UPS guy to knock. I had my phrase ready, "This is for delivering it twice."
But the dummkopf didn't knock. He just left it, risking the box getting stolen.
But the big fat guy in the power scooter wheelchair did knock.
The fat guy protected me, protected the box from being stolen. "Here, wait a minute. I got something in my pants pocket for you. Hold on a second. Be right back."
Pyramid, bowl, ankh means "gives the lord life."
I love this present as much as anything I ever received. And I mean it. No customary 12% exaggeration for dramatic effect.
Thank you Chickenlittle. This game means the world to me. This is even better than the Thursday boots when they get here tomorrow or Tuesday. This is like 1971 rolling up and saying "Hello there, Chip." This is like uncovering an actual treasure. I have a game even the Royal Tannenbaums don't have.
5 comments:
Cool gift. We play parcheesi in my family.
There’s always next year!
Every tragically hip character in The Royal Tenenbaums is UNBEARABLE. And if you live in Manhattan they're your neighbors.
Chip,
You're so welcome! I'm glad it found a good home. Did I send the rubber bad that turns the turntable? I don't have it but I forgot to check that it was in the box.
BTW, the only thing that doesn't work is the so-called "speed controller." I had it up and running a few years ago, but last I checked, I couldn't get the speed controller to work.
There's a guy who specializes in repairing this game: link. He also sells spare parts, like the missing jewel.
What's interesting about the game is that it's clearly stamped "Made In West Germany." Talk about yer time capsule.
That yellow disc contains all of Pharoah's secret messages; you will simply have to decode it.
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