The older I get the lazier I get.
I hate myself sometimes.
I have nothing against shopping and I always have a good time with people. I meet people who become friends for a few minutes. I have interesting food-related conversations. I strike up conversations and have fun with strangers I meet. It's fun. I meet women and I ask them pertinent questions then suddenly a man appears and in seconds I wedge into their relationship by pointing out where the woman laughs, (at the high cost of food) or her thinking about how to best work the system (put the pineapple in the basket and trade it for a riper one up front if there is one) I get into quite a few smart conversations by simply asking, "what is that thing you're reaching for?" Then, "What are you going to do with it?" Or, "Get this. Powdered peanut butter."
So I don't know why I put it off so long all the time.
I don't understand myself sometimes. I'm lazy, but I'm not that lazy.
I mentioned this to the clerk at the corner store where I bought milk to delay real grocery shopping and he said, "I do the exact same thing."
Yes, I have to fill up the truck's tank with gasoline, and it is cold outside, but that is not it. I do this delay thing for days up to a week even when I have a full tank and it's warm outside.
I have to drive. Find a spot to park. Push a cart through the store. Load the cart. Wait in line. Help the bagger and load up the cart again. Unload the cart into the truck. Unload the truck into another smaller cart. Bring it all upstairs. Twice. Unload the smaller cart twice. Put everything away. It's not too much work, I just cannot get off my butt and do it. Once I do it, then I have a good time with people.
And I prefer making my own selections with vegetables. I like to see all the choices.
But sometimes I keep putting it off ridiculously.
So to punish myself for not going, I ordered online. What the heck. But that's not really punishment. And the thought of all that being brought up directly to my door fills me with glee. While the drag of getting the guy inside has me in dread. They think I can open the door without them using the callbox. At checkout online $11.00 tip is recommended. Pffft. All that loading and unloading and driving back and forth is worth at least $30.00 to me.
I did this before when I was too sick to shop and it has always worked out very well no matter the service. And now I'm doing it when I'm feeling fine. Except it is flu season and that is a place where people cough and sneeze all over the place and put their sticky germ ridden mitts all over everything.
What a great time to be alive. Where people do your shopping for you. I might keep doing this until I reach the point of needing to pick out things for myself again.
14 comments:
The only food item that I buy on line is KA ME Chinese Noodles. The local grocery store used to stock it, but about 2 years ago, they quit. I was probably the only one who bought them is my guess. One pack left, so I need to reorder.
Wheat noodles. Why that particular brand?
American super markets, germs and all, are still alright with me. My local HyVee makes a lot of deliveries for folks who can't get out. I'm grateful I don't have to look for food in Venezuela, no thanks to the legacy of Hugo Chavez. You would think that country would be a wakeup for anyone who thinks socialism does a better job of providing food than profit seeking farmers but it probably isn't.
You would be a great one to talk to in a grocery store, Chip. I'm sure you put a shine on a lot of peoples' days.
This time of year I hold my breath when I'm near the cold and flu aisle.
I also refrain from licking the shopping carts.
Dick, Kudos on the kicking the shopping cart licking. I'm in a support group.
It's tough, ND. I know. That's why the markets give us the sani-wipes. It's a step program.
I wish I were a slower shopper at my supermarket but I usually go in knowing exactly what I'm after, get that and get out, thereby missing some great items on sale. Even when I catch a sale I don't take full advantage of it. A voice inside says why not buy ten packages of those extra wide egg noodles or ten cans of those Progresso soups at half price but I can't, for some reason I can't buy ten of anything. I'll buy two or three and that's it. The other voice inside won't let me "go deep." Then two weeks later I'll go to the soup aisle and of course the sale will be over. Oh well, you can only be who you are.
It's the only Chinese noodles that I am aware of, Chip. Until you said something, I didn't even know that they were made from wheat, but it says it on the package. My grocery store in New Richmond WI, Family Fresh, also has employees going around with shopping carts, and filling out orders that they will deliver.
I have shopped for our family since we were married in 1977. Here are some pet peeves. This one is rampant. The person who thinks they're being considerate by putting their cart on the right side of the aisle and then stroll over to the left side..BLOCKING THE ENTIRE FUCKING AISLE!! If you want to look @ items on the right side, keep your cart w/ you, and if it's the left side..SAME THING!
If you haven't noticed this, keep your eyes peeled, you'll see it. An older couple. Like myself, the woman has shopped for the family for decades. But now that her mamaluke husband is retired, he needs to come to the grocery store and supervise her, BLOCKING THE FUCKING AISLE AND TREATING HIS WIFE LIKE SHE KNOWS NOTHING. I look into the eyes of these poor women. I see mostly exasperation, some compliance, and sometimes rage. I give those women a knowing look.
Whatever happened to Peapod? They were nascent when we lived in Chicago, made a big splash, now I never see them in the big cities. The trucks are quite distinctive.
Target delivers for free if you buy $50 worth of groceries.
I bought some old time candy online for Halloween. A big variety, big disappointment, much of it tasted stale. Then again I bought a bottle of HP sauce at a World market store,same thing.
You never know how long it's been sitting around.
There are 3 things that bug me at the Grocers.
1.People who take a full cart into the 10 items or less line. I've only seen 1 cashier kick the person out of line. They stuck their nose in the air,left the cart in line and huffed out of the store.
2. Women who wait until their last item is scanned, then pull out their checkbook, instead of having most of the check filled out prior.
3. Someone well dressed, expensively coiffed made up and manicured and paying with a food stamp card, and then seeing them load up their Lexus SUV.
Me and you, ampersand, me and you.
This worked out very well. Two women delivered and they brought quite a load. All the things that take refrigeration were double-bagged with an mylar bubble wrap insulation bag inside a paper bag. It's quite a thoughtful production. They got everything right. The substitutions they made were reasonable. Looking at all the hassle I saved, it's very much worth it.
I asked them what is a usual order and they said 5 bags. Mine was over double that. I asked them if this is too big and should I try to order sooner and they both go, no, no, no, no, no, this is fine. This makes more sense. But I still feel a bit guilty. I think I'd feel better with smaller orders.
I'm turning into a proper elderly gentleman. I stand there and watch others work and give directions. One woman handled the trolly, brought it right into my apartment, and that does take some maneuvering and my banking job along with the women in my family has me accustomed to women shirking physical work where you have to throw your body into it like these women do. I said, "you have good muscles." She answered, "I'm young."
Meaning, well, you're old so you can get way with this crap.There are advantages to being an elder. Respect mah authoritah and all that.
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