That young blond Trump kid in the middle is the greatest! And I didn't notice him exhibiting any condescension toward Buckwheat. But I quit at the three minute mark because...well, because I'm an adult. Well.....I AM!
MLK hated homos, vehemently opposed gay marriage, had no women on his staff. We need to take down all his street signs, statues, and relics. Although, if you're unfamiliar w/ a big city MLK Blvd. is almost always a good street to avoid. So the signs do serve a safety purpose.
I went from 143 to 159 and tonight I had to reach up to the pile of size 31 pants.
This is a great development. Because now my body doesn't look like a snake.
It looks like a snake that ate somebody's pet dog.
And the Earth crashes and trembles when I stride across its surface. And when I sit down it makes a dent in the cushion. And when I step on peanut shells it smashes them. And the wind goes around me instead of pushing me over. And when I play seesaw with a five year old I win. And when I walk my neighbor's toy poodle it doesn't pull me along. And when I step over an air vent outlet it doesn't lift me off my feet. And when I open my jacket I'm not airborne like a kite. And children have stopped untying my bootlaces and pretending I'm a hotdog shaped balloon. And the neighborhood stopped using me for a badminton shuttlecock. And the neighborhood sot stopped using me for a swizzle stick. And the gardener lady stopped tying her bean plants to me. And the army vet stopped attaching an American flag to my neck and my belt. So it's been altogether great.
But it wont last.
I've been through this temporary joy before. Many times.
4 comments:
That young blond Trump kid in the middle is the greatest! And I didn't notice him exhibiting any condescension toward Buckwheat. But I quit at the three minute mark because...well, because I'm an adult. Well.....I AM!
MLK hated homos, vehemently opposed gay marriage, had no women on his staff. We need to take down all his street signs, statues, and relics. Although, if you're unfamiliar w/ a big city MLK Blvd. is almost always a good street to avoid. So the signs do serve a safety purpose.
Those little kids sure are cute.
Guess what?
I gained 16 lbs.
I went from 143 to 159 and tonight I had to reach up to the pile of size 31 pants.
This is a great development. Because now my body doesn't look like a snake.
It looks like a snake that ate somebody's pet dog.
And the Earth crashes and trembles when I stride across its surface. And when I sit down it makes a dent in the cushion. And when I step on peanut shells it smashes them. And the wind goes around me instead of pushing me over. And when I play seesaw with a five year old I win. And when I walk my neighbor's toy poodle it doesn't pull me along. And when I step over an air vent outlet it doesn't lift me off my feet. And when I open my jacket I'm not airborne like a kite. And children have stopped untying my bootlaces and pretending I'm a hotdog shaped balloon. And the neighborhood stopped using me for a badminton shuttlecock. And the neighborhood sot stopped using me for a swizzle stick. And the gardener lady stopped tying her bean plants to me. And the army vet stopped attaching an American flag to my neck and my belt. So it's been altogether great.
But it wont last.
I've been through this temporary joy before. Many times.
That's why I keep the pants.
They're all very old but they look brand new.
You no longer have to run around in the shower to get wet - good job, Chip.
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