Sunday, September 11, 2016

Don Surber's Wacky Conspiracy Theories!

Who replaces Hillary?

Don  Surber September 11, 2016
Shortly after the conventions, we had an outbreak of RNC-to-replace-Trump stories. Clinton spokesman/ABC News star George Stephanopoulos was the first to push this nonsense. Disgusting and no one in the media calls out this millionaire hack.

Now a month later, Democrats may have to replace Hillary.

Her mysterious departure due to overheating in the sweltering 75-degree morning in New York City at the 9-11 commemoration has even Chris Cillizza now saying we may now discuss milady's health without being labeled deplorable.

I’m seeing enough Dem pundits running with this as suddenly being a big story that I wonder if they’re looking for an excuse to dump her for someone who might beat Trump easily.
That's an amusing assumption that there is someone in the land "who might beat Trump easily."

From Scott Adams:
If humans were rational creatures, the time and place of Clinton’s “overheating” wouldn’t matter at all. But when it comes to American psychology, there is no more powerful symbol of terrorism and fear than 9-11 . When a would-be Commander-in-Chief withers – literally – in front of our most emotional reminder of an attack on the homeland, we feel unsafe. And safety is our first priority. 
Hillary Clinton just became unelectable.
The mainstream media might not interpret today’s events as a big deal. After all, it was only a little episode of overheating. And they will continue covering the play-by-play action until election day. But unless Trump actually does shoot someone on 5th Avenue, he’s running unopposed.
So Democrats dump Hillary and get someone else. Who?
First name up is Tim Kaine, a lifer Democrat who hacked his way up from city attorney of Richmond to governor and later the Senate. He's best known for accepting more than $160,000 in "gifts" from lobbyists legally. And by lobbyists, I mean people who wanted government business, not ideological wackos. He's already on the ticket, right?

Joe Biden? Yes, Americans want four more years of race-baiting and rolling over to communists and other dictators who hate America. Let's see, we've given nukes to North Korea and Iran. Who's left? Cuba? Sure, no problem. Miami doesn't vote Democrat, so who cares?

Elizabeth Warren? Yes, Fauxcahontas. No skeletons in her tepee. Bonus: She can become the fourth consecutive nominee from Massachusetts to lose.

Bernie Sanders? A communist. No, too conservative for today's Democratic Party.

Michelle Obama? Too shrewish.

Dr. Drew? Well, since he lost that CNN-style gig, he has a lot of spare time on his hands.

Chris Stevens? U.S. Ambassador with plenty of Middle East experience in the Terrorist War. (What's that? Oh.) Um, nevermind.

Ted Strickland? He's a former governor of Ohio, and no Republican has won the presidency without Ohio. Plus, in light of Rob Portman's 10-point lead in the polls in their Senate race, Strickland is looking for a safer place on the ballot.

Chelsea! The brains of Caroline Kennedy without, like, um, you know, the Valley Girl accent?

37 comments:

AllenS said...

Who would want to.

Lem said...

Hillary is being covered by the press like a politburo member. In perfect health to replace the outgoing chairman Obama.

Sixty Grit said...

Also, please note that they are saying that she is fully recovered from an episode she didn't have.

AprilApple said...

I like Scott Adams' rose colors glasses. Where can I get some?

AprilApple said...

She used her poor health and memory loss due to so-called concussion for all her excuses as to why she set up a Private Server in her basement to collect millions from donors while head of State. Those excuses gave Comey (and his job) all the reasons not to indict.

How does this women have any support at all? oh right - her hack media.

*MSM say - hey! leave poor Hillary alone.

edutcher said...

Yuri Andropov had the same cold as Breazhnev and now he's given it to Frumpty.

Problem is, the Ozarks bought the nomination fair and square, so I guess Willie gets to run. He can pull a Bruce Jenner and call himself Wilhelmina and say he gets to run again.

PS Adams is right. When the WaPo says it's over, it's time to turn out the lights. Granted, CNN, MSLSD, Puffington, and Saloon get a vote, but they can't subdivide Candy Crowley that much.

edutcher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
edutcher said...

PPS Even the reporters don't believe the hokey vid outside Chelsea's.

edutcher said...

Talk about prescient.

The Ozark Mafia says she has pneumonia.

How many years has she had this pneumonia?

AprilApple said...

Breaking. The media and Hillary have it all covered.

Trooper York said...

Hey I bet that kid was a Mexican. Just sayn'

edutcher said...

Too bad it's going over like a lead balloon.

john said...

The constitution lists only 3 requirements for a presidential candidate: must be a natural born citizen, resident for 14 years, and 35 years old or older. No mention at all that the candidate must be alive.

Take that, you haters.

rhhardin said...

Hillary sick is less harmful that Hillary well, so it's a plus for her election.

rhhardin said...

Short state of the union speeches, the first benefit.

rhhardin said...

Don't forget Toom Tabard, the suit of clothes that ruled Scotland after his death. They didn't bother replacing him.

AprilApple said...

I like the twitter comments

"If she had pneumonia, which can be led threatening at her age, why did she attempt to keep her schedule?"


@blndzhvmrfn @ABCLiz

" Because she doesn't have pneumonia"

&
"So her going to the apartment was a lie as well? Just asking."

AllenS said...

This information must be busting the balls of the NeverTrump people.

chickelit said...

What a brave and selfless woman for keeping such an active schedule while sick. The press is going to lionize the woman.

AprilApple said...

"I thought she "lost her balance." Where does the pneumonia fit in?"

Sixty Grit said...

Like Cecil?

Trooper York said...

No like Beany.

AprilApple said...

I know when I have pneumonia - I re-hydrate and voila'! All betters.

Sixty Grit said...

I have had pneumonia three times that I know of, most recently in 2003. It was all I could do to make it over to the Urgent Care place, the doc took one listen to my lungs and asked "So, how long have you had pneumonia?"

FIIK! One big difference between my symptoms and what I see Coffee doing is that pneumonia is a productive cough - no, I was not spitting lozenges of opium into my water glass, but instead, it was a well, never mind - this is neither the time nor the place to discuss such things.

So, once again, that sick liar is a lying liar who is sick. I am sure the press will be all over that.

edutcher said...

Um, they say she was looked at after the latest coughing fit Friday.

The woman's been coughing for 4 years. I says again and I repeats, how many pneumonias has she had?

Trooper York said...

My doctor made me get a pneumonia shot last week. Did she get one?

edutcher said...

If this doesn't destroy them, nothing will.

Demos consider DNC emergency meeting to replace Frumpty.

I said this election would be event-driven. Does this qualify?

Sixty Grit said...

@Troop, she got two, but you have to be sure to ask for "anti-pneumonia" shots. Words have meaning.

Sixty Grit said...

I just read the comments over at ed's link - Hillary is shovel ready!

chickelit said...

The most likely outcome of today's little episode is that Hillary gets an unspecified period of rest from the rigors AND she collects oodles more in Hollywood sympathy money without having to even go there. That's just the way graft and corruption works.

edutcher said...

Uh-oh.

Sometime before she swooned, somebody did a squeeze the fingers test on Frumpty.

And, yes, virginity, that is neurological.

Trooper York said...

I don' think that is fair ed.

Trump makes everybody take the "pull my finger" test.

Sixty Grit said...

You got that all wrong - Cilizza just reported that he heard someone say "Pull my finger".

Sixty Grit said...

Aw crap, I knew when I was typing that that I was walking into the Troopzone. Very bad.

Trooper York said...

Hey great minds think alike. Now pull my finger.

Adamsunderground said...

Nothing's more gut churning than waiting for the white smoke. Will she give me another chance? If so, can I make her feel about me the way I do her? Did she find my Huma weak and unappealing?

AprilApple said...

chickel -

Local fox 31 news spun hard for her. They didn't show the video of her wobbling like a drunk, and then skipped ahead to her smiling in front of the "apartment".

If that video showed Trump wobbling like a drunk - ALL OVER THE MEDIA.