Tuesday, August 9, 2016

What's the most common lie told by mothers?

Reddit best answers...
"We can do that later" Then "later" never comes!


That she did a great job cutting my hair.

"Dinner's ready."

"You're such a handsome boy"

"I'll only be 5 minutes" this one is particularly deceptive if they are walking into a shop.

"If you tell me the truth, you won't get in trouble"

We are leaving the house in 5 minutes!


Christy said...

Yep, sat with my Mom for a couple of hours this afternoon. She told me repeatedly how beautiful I am. And I always replied that it is because I have such a beautiful mother. Neither of us believe it, but we still like to say it.

edutcher said...

I'm leaving.

Sometimes they do, but they don't announce it.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Hillary Clinton to Chelsea: I always loved you...

Adamsunderground said...

"You're special."

Adamsunderground said...

Single mother's online dating bio: "My child comes first."

ndspinelli said...

ed, Wow! Sorry.

Trooper York said...

Jeez Adam what kind of website is that? Woody Allen's?

bagoh20 said...

"His father is out of the picture completely."

Adamsunderground said...

Posing this question offends me. My long suffering mother was a saint, who told me all kinds of horrible things about my father...oh, wait.

Adamsunderground said...

"You can make your own decisions, even if they break your mother's heart."

edutcher said...

ndspinelli said...

ed, Wow! Sorry.

No, she didn't, but, when we got to a point where her last nerve was getting ready to snap, that was the ultimate threat.

As I say, the ones that do usually just go.

Didn't mean to give the wrong impression.

Trooper York said...

Eddy don't give the crazies more information. They already went after your wife don't let them go
after your mother.

Adamsunderground said...

You're the father

Amartel said...

I am pulling this car over and you are walking home.

edutcher said...

Trooper York said...

Eddy don't give the crazies more information. They already went after your wife don't let them go
after your mother.

Mom is safe in the arms of Our Holy Father. No one can ever hurt her.

But thanks for the concern.

Chip Ahoy said...

If I eat an apple seed a tree will grow in my stomach. Watermelon, too, but oddly not corn or peas or beans.

If I don't wash my ears potatoes will grow inside them.

That she has eyes in the back of head.

A little birdie told her.

Santa Clause gave me a bunch of presents.

If I put salt of bird I can catch one.

A bb gun, slingshot, or bow and arrow will put my eye out.

If I have a sip of whiskey it'll put hair on my chest.

If I don't get good grades then no one will hire me.

I'll absolutely need to know maths when I grow up.

Girls have penises neatly pushed inside.

I must clear my plate because starving children in India.

Japanese are extremely tidy people.

Jesus is watching my every move and logging damaging entries.

Crime never pays.

scallops are a sliced up breaded eel.

An aperitif of wine every week is good for my blood.

I need to learn how to dance or I'll never get a date.

If I go outside with wet hair I'll get pneumonia.

If I don't wear a coat I'll die of exposure.

If I make a treehouse I'll fall out of it and die.

If I jump off the counter I'll break every bone in my body.

Jesus was up there pushing the clouds around with a stick.

Stop running in and out or every bug in the neighborhood will come in.

Buckle my seatbelt or we'll all die in a fiery hellish collision.

Put down the toad or I'll get warts.

If I ride the pony I'll get ringworm.

Shut up or she'll tape my mouth shut.

If I get bit by a snake then I'll die.

THere's the same amount of coca cola in the short fat glass as there is in the tall thin glass.

If I get hit by a car and I don't have clean underwear then I'll be shamed forever.

I must button all the buttons correctly or my shirt would come flying off.

Don't sit by the door because a giraffe is coming through and i'll get sick.

If I don't brush my teeth twice a day they'll all fall out.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

If she has to take me to the hospital one more time she's going to kill me herself.

The lies, the lies, I could go on for quite awhile. And it wasn't just Mum either, her whole clan really enjoyed messing with the minds of little children.

ndspinelli said...

ed, thanks. My son was abandoned by his mother and that has a profound effect on kids.

Michael Haz said...

Don't worry about it, everyone else's is just as small.

Sixty Grit said...

Go ahead and drink the well water - it's fine.

Methadras said...

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Hillary Clinton to Chelsea: Your father is not Webb Hubble

Methadras said...

My favorite always was if you sit to close to the tv you'll go blind or the perennial favorite of making a face and her telling you that you'll get stuck like that if you don't stop.