Fortress of Solitude and Hair Weaves at Mar A Largo October 15, 2019
"Well lets sit down and figure out what we are going to do" said Donald Trump. "Ever since we started our new party we have done pretty well. The All American Party is well launched. Forty Congressional seats. Five Senators. That's a good start. Yuge. If we pick the right candidate for President his coattails might get us more people."
"Great point Donald you betcha" gushed Sarah Palin. "But it can't be you or me. We need a fresh face. Someone who doesn't have our battle scars. We just need to think outside of the box."
"Listen to her Donnie. She's pretty smart even though she is not a Jew. I have a PHD you know so I know a smart cookie when I see one" said Michael Savage.
"Yeah well BFD there buddy. We still have to pick someone. Who is gonna be? One of our Congress People? A Celebrity? A Reality TV Star?"snorted Sean Hannity.
"You can't pick a politician. The people don't trust a politician anymore. At least our people. We need someone who loves America. Who is not a politically correct liberal wienie. Not a rigid unbending far right wacko. Someone who wants to stop illegal immigration. Bring our boys home and get the rest of the world to pay for the troops we keep in their countries. Set up trade deals that protect the working man instead of big business. Someone who will finally do something about the radical Muslims who are still cutting off heads and setting off bombs. Who is it gonna be" replied The Donald.
Ivanka Trump adjusted her large and luscious breasts in her tight fitting low cut frock. She licked her frosted lips and opined "We have to go with a celebrity. Someone who is glib and bright but easily molded and led in the direction we want the American Party to go. I suggest we pick a athlete or an actor."
"An actor would be hard. Clint is too old. Arnold is not a citizen and is senile. Tim Allen is conservative but not popular enough. Kelsey Grammer is a homo. Nobody knows who Gary Sinse is and James Woods is a psycho. Kevin Costner might be a possibility. He is far enough out of the game to merit consideration. Lets put him on the short list." Sarah Palin shook her still very attractive head. "We need some more candidates."
"I think it should be a ball player. I have a list" piped up Hannity. "Peyton Manning. Curt Schilling. Maybe Derek Jeter."
"You really are as dumb as you look Hannity" sneered Ivanka as she rubbed her vagina through her silk dress. Her Dad looked on approvingly if somewhat pervertedly. "Manning is a loser, Schilling is a Nazi and Jeter has herpes. There is only one possible choice."
"Who is that baby" cooed the Donald.
"Why Tom Brady of course. He is married to a Super Model just like you Dad. He is a cheater and will do anything to win. And he hates Mexicans just like us after that beaner Aaron Hernandez ruined his Super Bowl streak. He would be perfect."
"You know that could work" exclaimed Sarah Palin. "We just have to make sure of one thing."
"What's that" asked Donald.
"That the Democrats don't run Eli Manning. Cause then we would be sure to lose."
6 comments:
For those interested, this piece, whether you agree with its editorial position or not, has a nifty little chart to figure out who needs what percent of the delegates coming out of this month.
The next big Tuesday will be in June when CA and NJ, along with 3 western states, put up a combined 300 delegates.
Forget Brady and go right to the source, Belichick for President. He'd drive the Dems and pundits crazy wondering how he'd steal the election. He'd deflate their balls.
Stephen Baldwin as V.P. for the chick vote. Even April might go for him.
Ivanka is much prettier than that picture which makes her look weird.
If Ivanka was running I would have no problem voting for her.
A guy who would fire some guys working for him because some tenant (without evidence) complained they stole from him is an asshole. I know there are lots of assholes out there. For all I know Ted Cruz would do the same thing. Except I don't know that for Ted. I do know that from Donald. From his own admission.
He could have bought Carson a new coat and wrote it off as the price of doing business (yeah, I know vicuna coats are expensive, but it is chump change for Trump). But fuck that noise, Trump fired the working stiffs (there are plenty more waiting for a job). Donald Trump, Celebrity Douchebag
Hillary would not do what Trump did, because she has never run a business (other than when she was at the Rose Law Firm engaged in Whitewater). Hillary would have played the part of Carson and accused the working stiffs of stealing.
Since when did we start calling those things candidates?
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