What "fake" thing that happens in movies pisses you off?
When they pull the fire alarm and every single fire sprinkler head goes off spraying water everywhere.
Chloroform won't knock you out in seconds, it takes about 5 minutes of huffing on a soaked rag
When their cups are empty. How hard would it be to put something, anything, into those damn cups?!
Living happily ever after in scary movies. Sure the protagonist defeated the evil spirit, but that same evil spirit killed all of his/her friends or family. You cannot tell me the police will believe that an evil spirit was the cause of a building full of dead teens.
I have been in the HVAC industry for over a decade and it makes me crazy when people crawl through ductwork in movies and then just pop out of a grille (that has hinges for some dumb reason) and then they're in another room. Ductwork is full of razor sharp rib pins, itchy ass insulation and tons of screws that we use to suspend it. Oh and there is no mysterious blue illumination in ductwork...its dark as a tomb in there. fucking Die Hard...
Anything to remotely do with electricity, people see it as this whole, it's uncontrollable and if you cut a wire sparks will fly and it'll do whatever the fuck it wants when the truth is, nowadays the worst thing that happens is you'll trip the RCD or breaker.
80 comments:
Sucking down glasses full of Scotch or some other liquor like it's ice tea usually without getting the least bit drunk.
Punching people with full swings with your bare hands over and over without breaking anything, and the guy receiving the punches getting back up over and over.
Lovers talking to each other face to face first thing in the morning. For that matter, it's only in the movies where people talk 2 inches from someone's face and they don't turn away in disgust.
In a car chase where the car starts out and later in the chase it is a different make of car. Green Chevy and suddenly in another scene a Buick. Same color...different car. Come on.....all green cars are not the same.
Also car related. The car peals out on a dirt road and the sound of tires squealing. Really? Tires don't squeal or lay rubber on a dirt road.
Nobody ever poops.
Bags....I take it you've never watched Pulp Fiction?
Spoiler if you haven't seen the film
Nobody ever runs out of ammunition.
Now you have to ask yourself, did he fire five or six shots. Truth is, I lost track myself. Well, do you feel lucky punk?
Don't click the video if you haven't seen Pulp Fiction.....it is a spoiler.
Insurance. There is secret life insurance policy for millions of dollars on someone. Unless the agent is a crook too....there is NO way someone can take out a life insurance policy of that amount, or any amount that is over a few thousands of dollars,. without your knowledge.
It requires a health exam. Blood draw, you would remember THAT, and all sorts of other verifications. In addition, there needs to be an "insurable interest". That is a legal term, meaning there has to be a reason to take out a policy on someone. You are related. Husband/wife Mother/child etc. OR you have a business interest. Business partners. You don't get to just take out a policy on anyone you want.
In the movies nobody ever walks into an ally or even down a dark country road...and nothing happens to them.
Oops, alley.
Almost anything law-related. Very few realistic movies about the law. Usually, "the law" is just a vehicle for progressive fantasies.
Computer stuff in movies bug me. Hacker sits at a terminal and types out line code at hyper speed and scrolling of commands happens. Yeah Right. Hacker sits at terminal with a graphics user interface never before seen in reality and uses it like a master. Spy's sitting in a control center looking at satellite data and just zoom in on whatever they want without pixelation. Lulz.
When people jump from great heights into water and nothing happens to them. No broken bones, nothing. Fucking kidding me? You should be dead.
Yeah, put me down also about the ammo thing.
When anyone runs in a movie, they run at full speed and aren't winded when they are done. WTF, you don't have lungs, a heart, you aren't processing lactic acid build up and hunched over catching your breath? The worst was in the movie The Gambler.
I must say that during all the times we've talked, the people in this blog have always had the most pleasant breath.
A biggie, or smallie...,
No guy ever has ED
Or any time Tom Cruise plays a character that has to get from point A to point B in a hurry.
Lion breath in the morning is not sexy.
I decided some time ago that getting fussy about inaccuracies in movies detracted from enjoyment of the experience and that it's better to just go with the flow. It's a story, not a documentary. But that's just me.
The fact that crime is the result of old white guys who are businessmen or clergy.
That is why they have conjure up South African racists to make a Die Hard movie.
Also any movie by Quentin Tarratino. Just bullshit.
Pulp fiction chief among them.
My husband is a pro at noticing the discrepancies in movies and tv shows. Now that we have the ability to pause and go back with our DVR we can check his accuracy. It is uncanny. He is always right.
Guy chopping tomatoes and talking to someone in the kitchen. There are three tomatoes and suddenly there are four. Dang...you're right. They added a magical tomato.
Bandoleer on a guys chest has 6 bullets, then 5, then 7. How the Hell can you see that?
Hair behind the ear and then suddenly in front and then behind again with no hands. Wow.
Shirt buttoned to the top button then not, then again.
He should have been a continuity guy in the movies.
However, if I change my hair style....nope....no noticing. Change the bedspread. Nada. Ah well.
Matt Dillon incurred 45 woundings from gunfire, including 13 to vital organs.
And Chester had the limp.
OTOH it was a long series.
Rabel said...
I decided some time ago that getting fussy about inaccuracies in movies detracted from enjoyment of the experience and that it's better to just go with the flow. It's a story, not a documentary. But that's just me.
Exactly. The people who kill themselves trying to see every flaw just want to wreck it for everybody else.
Methadras said...
People in movies who get shot and wounded and can keep functioning at some diminished capacities and still come out on top. You get your ass hit by a bullet anywhere on your body, even if it's a graze and the only thing on your mind is why the fuck it hurts so much, much less getting up and still shooting or walking around or whatever. You've been shot asshole
Read a few Medal of Honor citations.
Once the adrenaline is up, it's astounding what people can do.
I'll defer to Allen on this, but I read somewhere an opinion most VC, Croix De Guerre, Iron Cross, Blue Max winners can be summed up with the idea they just got scared enough or mad enough.
We should add the number of times he was thrown from his horse at full gallop.
Nelly Olsen kept pulling Laura Ingalls hair and throwing her in the mud and they still stayed friends.
How about this one: every time a white guy in a movie disses/treats badly a black man, before the movie is over the black man saves the white man's life.
Actually Matt Dillon is one of the few actors who knew about violence and its cost.
Read up on James Arness and his actions at Anzio. He was a true American Hero!
And of course Miss Kitty knew all about being a whore.
She was shot in the face many times.
Actually she died from it.
Airplane disasters are always impossibly wrong and photographed in impossible motions.
I've stopped trying to find romcom DVDs, having finally hit the bottom of the barrel pretty solidly, with a lot of bail-out-early plots.
Eagle vs Shark is good, the last good one I bought.
It's slow acting. Better the next day when you think back on it than at the time.
Guys who sneak in past the bad guys all of whose lookouts have their backs turned are the mark of a cult classic.
Eagle vs Shark also has the best conceptual joke ever.
A New Zealander who tells jokes in an Australian accent for comic effect.
That time they cast Ward Bond as an Irish priest in The Quiet Man - that freakin' Cornhusker couldn't even fake an Irish accent for two sentences. That has to be the most fake thing that has ever occurred in the history of film making.
But the most accurate was in that same movie when John Wayne first caught sight of Maureen O'Hara and was thunderstruck - man, if you have never been stopped dead in your tracks by a beautiful redhead then you have never lived.
As for Pulp Fiction - to this day I remain curious about the layout of the apartment building where Vincent Vega and that fellow with the Jheri Curl exchange 20 or 30 rounds of large caliber pistol fire and are not deafened, but no one else in the building notices the fact that Fallujah has just broken out in their midst. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Ditto on Maureen O'Hara. I had the privilege of having coffee with her when she was in her seventies at a Paddy's Day celebration and she was breathtaking beautiful then. Just imagine what she was like back in the day.
John Ford just loved to have his stock company in every movie. Ward Bond was shoehorned into many roles whee he did not belong.
His John L Sullivan accent in "Gentlemen Jim" is even worse if that is possible.
We should have a thread about what are the really horrible accents that have taken us right out of a movie.
My nomination for the worse ever: AL Pacino in Scarface.
I think Al might have been sampling from the props in that one.
Ricky Ricardo did a pretty good Cuban accent. Cruz and cabana boy, not so much.
That fellow who died the other day, you know, the old actor who got an Oscar for watching Joy Harmon wash her car, his might have been the worst Southern accent ever. And that is a category filled to overflowing with lousy accents. I swear they have one Southern accent coach Hollywood and he has never heard and actual Southerner speak.
If you want bad, try Errol Flynn's brogue in "Captain Blood".
(of course, the women were all swooning, so who listened?)
Trooper York said...
Ditto on Maureen O'Hara. I had the privilege of having coffee with her when she was in her seventies at a Paddy's Day celebration and she was breathtaking beautiful then. Just imagine what she was like back in the day.
And that was in Technicolor.
Think of all the redheads - real redheads - that were in the movies back then. Technicolor loved their hair, their complexion, and, if they had blue or green eyes, just an added bonus.
And Miss Maureen had brains, too. She was quite the publishing czarina when you met her.
Tires squealing on dirt roads.
Chase scenes in cities where you turn the corner and are magically transported blocks away (Bullitt, I'm talkin' about you!).
Cars and trucks jumping incredible distances and driving off with no damage. In Terminator 2 you can see the front suspension of the semi collapse, yet in the next frame, nothing.
My inability to suspend disbelief when it comes to trees is well known. I might imagine that CL could have similar problems with make believe chemistry - Breaking Bad is just one long string of chemical BS if ever there was on.
Sixty Grit said...
Ricky Ricardo did a pretty good Cuban accent
He should, born there.
PS I assume we're talking George Kennedy.
I think that accent's for effect.
George Kennedy.
Something tells me the chemistry in BB was right on. But we'll have to wait for you know who to get here.
We should have a thread about what are the really horrible accents that have taken us right out of a movie.
There couldn't possibly by anything worse than when John Wayne was cast as Genghis Kahn. Nothing!
I nominate Edward G. Robinson as Pharaoh.
Bogus ASL.
The signer is behind the interpreter.
And each instance I go, c'mon, give 'em a break. Will ya? They're doing very well with it. Now, be amazed how well the actors are doing with a whole 'nuther language. It's very good actually, given the task.
Dust Bunny Queen said...
We should have a thread about what are the really horrible accents that have taken us right out of a movie.
There couldn't possibly by anything worse than when John Wayne was cast as Genghis Kahn. Nothing!
There's always future Democrat Kerry mispronouncing his name.
deborah said...
I nominate Edward G. Robinson as Pharaoh.
No, he was Dathan, the eeeevillll overseer (whe's yo' Moses naoooowwww?), but he wasn't doing an accent, nobody was.
Mel Brooks sounded better as a Sioux chief (Cop a walk, s'a'right).
Or did you think Chuck Heston sounded Jewish?
Robinson was doing an accent, but it wasn't Arabic :)
Er, I mean Egyptian?
Edward G Robinson had the movie quote that is the second most popular for me. In other words the one I quote the most.
"Wadddaya think of your Moses now see?"
Trooper, I assume he was from New York, if so which borough?
5 foot 2, 110 pound girls who can outgun or outfight any 300 pound viking, gladiator, alien
or motorcycle gang without getting pantsed and banged in the butt.
He was born in Bucharest actually but when he got off the boat his family settled in Manhattan.
Thanks.
Ten Commandments had wildly divergent accents.
Old Pharoah, high tone English
Pharoah's son, Russian Gypsy
Pharoah's adopted daughter,East coast American
Pharoah's adopted daughter's old slave woman, high toned theatrical English.
Ethiopian princess. deep American southern drawl
Moses Moses, Midwest cornfed English
The decency of the bad guy, who upon seeing the good guy ditch his weapon and challenge him (the bad guy) to hand to hand combat, ditches the weapon himself and proceeds to get beaten to a pulp.
"I've stopped trying to find romcom DVDs..."
Nice try.
Trooper York said...
Edward G Robinson had the movie quote that is the second most popular for me. In other words the one I quote the most.
"Wadddaya think of your Moses now see?"
I do the Billy Crystal interpretation.
Lem said...
The decency of the bad guy, who upon seeing the good guy ditch his weapon and challenge him (the bad guy) to hand to hand combat, ditches the weapon himself and proceeds to get beaten to a pulp.
Not decency, but arrogance.
He always thinks he can take the good guy.
Uh oh - I see that DBQ already mentioned tires squealing on dirt roads. How about this, then - space ships making noise in space. Nah, that doesn't really bother me - there's no such thing as space ships.
And speaking of ASL - I watched Four Weddings and a Funeral and noticed that the Brits don't use ASL - or, if they do, then they have a funny accent. As with the spoken word, and for that matter, spelling, leave it to the Brits to ruin our language.
Worst accent: Dick Van Dyke in "Mary Poppins."
Runner up: The entire cast of the "North and South" mini-series. Don't hire Gomer Pyle as your voice coach.
You know who had a terrible English accent?
Traci Lords in New Wave Hookers.
But then she usually had a dick in her mouth at the time.
These low class vulgar Trump fans are the worst.
The really bring down the discourse.
Tut tut tut.
Bagoh - There's some pooping.
But only when there's laxatives involved. See the highly sophisticated films: "American Pie" & "Dumb and Dumber".
Laxatives and their over-use.
2:54 DBQ - Holy crap! I had no idea. that's just wrong.
Storm Troopers have full body armor(those creepy white hard plastic outfits) and the rebels wear plain clothes. Shoot at a storm trooper, and they fall down. Shoot at a person (rebel) without any body armor, and they never get hit.
Makes total sense. ;/
You know what it the most unbelievable thing I ever saw in the movies or TV?
People who thought Sarah Jessica Parker is really hot.
Seriously.
AprilApple said...
Storm Troopers have full body armor(those creepy white hard plastic outfits) and the rebels wear plain clothes. Shoot at a storm trooper, and they fall down. Shoot at a person (rebel) without any body armor, and they never get hit.
Even better, shoot at a bad guy (any genre), they're always dead, no wounded; shoot at a good guy (any genre), they're maybe a few wounded, no dead, unless they're a red shirt.
Sixty made a comment about two thugs in a film firing off powerful weapons in a relatively confined space and being completely unfazed by the noise of the weapons. I think part of the appeal of The Sopranos is that that show was pretty realistic about that sort of thing and about violence in general. Anyway, there's a scene in the Sopranos in which one family's soldier carries out a contract on another family's goon but he does it inside a window sealed car. I don't know whether he was an excellent actor or the sound of the shot actually deafened him but he managed to convey the pain of that earsplitting sound so effectively that your attention is more on his poor eardrums than it is on the target's blood splatter on the windows.
I think that we all can agree, that people (directors and actors) who make movies have no real live experiences.
live = life
Off Topic: I have the top rated comment on Instapundit about Trump's new ad about Hillary. I hate to toot my own horn, but when ya got it, ya got it.
The Soprano's gave the best depiction of the Mafia that was ever put on film.
If you want to see what a Mafia guy is all about watch the episode where Paulie Walnuts smoothers his mothers best friend with a pillow so he can steal her life savings under her mattress. He had know that woman all of his life. Since he was a little kid. And he killed her. For a measley couple of grand that he kicked up to his boss so he would look good.
They are real low lifes.
That is why scumbags like Kevin Williamson make me puke. They think they know low lifes. They don't know shit from shinola.
Doesn't one carry one's Shinola in a shine box?
Pet movie peeves:
Fistfights that go on and on. In real life they never go on and on. One punch and it's over. Usually the first punch.
Nobody ever gets their teeth knocked out in fistfights.
Outrunning explosions.
Getting knocked out and then regaining consciousness shortly afterward and the person is just fine and dandy. In real life getting knocked is a serious injury, a concussion.
That damn yellow Volkswagen that Steve McQueen keeps passing in the chase scene in Bullit.
AllenS said...
I think that we all can agree, that people (directors and actors) who make movies have no real live experiences.
Ever since Spielberg, they all come out of film school.
Before that, however, they learned as actors, bumming jobs.
A few, like William Wellman, who enlisted as an ambulance driver in the French Army in WWI, transferred to the foreign Legion, and ended up as a fighter pilot, had lives as interesting as their movies.
The movie biz seems to have been more rough and tumble back then.
Shee-it - Wellman made Public Enemy with Cagney, Jean Harlow et al - that is one heck of a film. The ending is unforgettable, but for those of you have have not seen it, let's just say Cagney's character drops in at his mother's house. I am still amazed at how that was filmed.
What a filmography that ol' boy put together - Wings, The Oxbow Incident, and one of the nearly one hundred versions of A Star is Born. Not bad, not bad at all.
Speaking of The Sopranos, and I am pretty sure we were, I just saw where Frank Sinatra Jr. has died at the age of 72.
Presentism. In every historical drama, the leading actors will never have any opinions that a Berkeley sophomore of the present day would disagree with.....I'm talking to you Downton Abbey. Servants were not part of the extended family on the large estates. Their work was tedious and endless. If the lord or lady should happen to pass them in the hall, the servants were instructed to turn their face to the wall.......Also, why are there so many sunny days in the Downton neighborhood? Why do all the clothes look so fresh and new? None of the cars look dusty or dented. Even the railway engine looks freshly painted. They didn't have floor buffers or Dyson vacuums back then. The rugs were dusty and the floors were scuffed. Why doesn't the maid help Mary Crawley totally disrobe before her bath?........Downton Abbey is a fraud. All the venom has been taken out of class and race. All the trauma has been taken out of war.
Pet peeve -- how people in space ships they have never been in before know their way around. (Star Wars -- looking at you).
Characters like Jody Foster who go into dark basements they have never been in before looking for a serial killer all by her ownsome.
Cops going in to houses and having flashlights on. All. The. Time. Turn on the damn lights why don't you?
Hubby couldn't stand how many laser shots are fired -- especially in the first Star Wars trilogy -- and so few people are injured or killed for the gazillion flashing shots fired. By that time they should have had software for computer targeting. (He does not suspend disbelief easily.)
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