Melaina Trump's Diary

Another Tuesday and another big win for my Donald. He cleaned up in Arizona. Won all of the delegates in a closed primary with almost a majority of voters. All things that fat shit Karl Rove said he couldn't do. There is nothing Donald can’t do. Well he couldn’t do Rosie O’Donnell but then who would?

Now we lost to Teddy in Utah. All of those cult people with the funny underwears voted the way their bosses told them to vote. Donald never thought he could win the Mormon vote since the chief carrot salad eater Mitt Romney put out the word that nobody should vote for us. Mitt is enjoying being a tough guy now. He has a lot to say. Didn’t say shit when he was running against Obama. I think he was afraid of him because he was a black guy so he didn’t say shit even when Obama took a dump in his mouth. But he is feeling it now in dissing Donald because all of his tough guy buddies are egging him on. Bill Kristol. Johan Whaleberg. George Will. Wheelchair guy. Boy that would be some street gang doncha think?

Donnie got all upset that Ted Cruz used one of his PACS to send out a racy photo of me to all the Mormons. They took a shot from one of my modeling gigs where I was naked and said “Is this who you want as First Lady.” Now what is funny is that any red blooded American boy would say “Of course we want that sweet piece of ass as First Lady……we are tired of Klingon looking nasty faced ho’s!” They kind of defeated their purpose. Unless their purpose was to give little Mormon boys something to whack their bags to instead of vintage Marie Osmond posters. Donnie is so cute. He got pissed that Ted is trying to say something bad about me. As though I care. I am proud of my body. Donald is proud of my body. Slovenia is proud of my body. Slut shaming doesn’t work. Donnie got pissed because he really loves me and doesn't want me dragged into this dirty political stuff.

Of course when he gets mad he went off all half cocked. Which is unfortunate because he has to be full cocked or you don’t feel anything. Oh sorry. TMI. Anyhoo Donnie threatened to “spill the beans about Ted Cruz’s wife Heidi.” He shouldn't have done that. I feel really bad about Heidi and her situation. I mean I thought she was the typical Heidi. Pigtails. Yodeling. Silver skates.  Parents in the SS. But she had a whole different deal.

You see Ted is very mean to her. Not a surprise as he is mean to everyone. Compared to him Frank Underwood is Mr. Rogers. Everybody in Washington hates the Ted monster. The other Senators. The members of the House. Waiters. He is just a mean cheap fuck. He took all of Heidi’s money that she saved up when she was working as an investment banker. He still is taking her money. I think he takes money out of her purse to get his haircuts. He is so mean that she went psycho. And we have all the records.

You see that perv Roger Stone that used to work for us has contacts in the Dark Net and all the porno sites in the Western World. So he had a lot of opposition research that we could use against some of the other candidates. Not that we would. That would be wrong. Donnie would just casually mention what we had at a debate and wadda ya know the next thing you know the guy would drop out. The photo of Bobby Jindal blowing some guy in Boston in an alley near Fenway Park while petting a rare clumber. The one of Scott Walker wearing a rubber catsuit while he was fucking a wheel of cheddar while some Law professor and a guy in overalls watched and whacked off into a Kotex. And of course Chris Christie dressed as a furry. Grizzly man. In every sense of the word.

So when Donnie was pissed he threatened to “spill the beans.” You see we have a video of when Heidi went to Arkham Asylum after she tried to hurt herself. She was heavily medicated and was into some wild stuff. We have a video of her in a three way with Barbara Kean and the Penguin. Nasty stuff. Too nasty for us to let out there. Donnie was just blowing off steam. Some things are best left unsaid. Or unseen.

Nobody wants to see Chris Christie having sex. Seriously. It hurts your eyes.