To: Jeffrey Epstein
From: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton
CC: William Jefferson Clinton, WNBC To Catch a Predator, Shouting Thomas
Dear Mr. Epstein,
I must ask you to cease and desist in your attempts to contact President Clinton to invite him to parties on your own private island. As much as he enjoyed those trips in the past....he must decline because of the obvious reasons that I do not need to detail here. I know you are disappointed as you and Bill had some good times in the past but that is in the past and can never be repeated.
As a small recompense I have arranged for George Stephanopoulos to dress in a tuxedo and stand on the tarmac of your private airstrip to shout "The Plane...the Plane" before your next party. Perhaps that will suffice.
We have already planned our vacation for this year before the run up to the 2016 presidential race. Bill and I will be staying at our good friend Shouting Thomas's camp for wayward Filipino school girls in Woodstock New York. I would appreciate if you do not contact Bill in the future.
If this is a problem then I suggest that we meet in person to discuss. We can meet next Thursday at Fort Marcy Park near the cannons at 3 am as this is the only time I have available. Oh and please wear clean underwear. Your family will thank me later.
Toodles,
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Secretary of State
4 comments:
In other news, Queen Cacklepants has a date with the G-men who want to talk about her emails. She can tell the truth and go to jail or lie and go to jail.
Love to see the One True Ted have to face the same thing over his multiple girlfriends.
Speaking of Hillary I just killed a MASSIVE spider in my kitchen. It was one of those her or me moments so I didn't let thought paralyze me but STOMPED instantly and squashed her good. And now for a dry Amontillado.
Mursus Clin-ton. You sucky sucky? We sucky sucky you, ok? Fi dolla.
Thank you, Troop, for this attempt to promote awareness for wayward Filipino schoolgirls.
Their problems are real.
We attempt here at my little camp to provide opportunities that these poor girls could never hope to access in their homeland. In particular, we seek to outfit them in those cute little Catholic school uniforms with the little pleated skirts and the white socks in black patent leather Mary Janes.
Our yearly fund raising drive will begin shortly. Give generously.
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