Melania Trump's Diary

What a night! We had another debate in Texas and Donald is very upset. It seems that little Marco Rubio grew a pair and decided to play with the big boys. We know he likes to play with boys but he decided to let his bitchy side show. The nasty sweaty Queen.  It was like a Reality show. Rupaul’s Drag Race with a Spanish accent.

First of all who said that Charo’s daughter should get to ask questions? She was all “Even though the Hispanics voted for you it was too small a sample” or something. Well of course it was a small sample. It didn’t count all the illegals. They can’t vote. At least everywhere except New York City. They are the ones who are afraid of the Donald. If you don’t believe me ask Jeb Bush’s wife. She made him quit she was so scared. Now they worry that Donald will build a wall. This muchacha complained that we didn’t care about the Telemundo poll. As if anyone watches Telemundo except to see the pigs on “12 Corazones” or the fool who yells “GGGGGOOOOAAAALLLLLL!!!!!” They are about as relevant as Marco’s poor wife.

Anyway Marco went wild like a weasel on crack. He came up with a few good ones that stung a little. Like Trump University. He claimed it was a scam. Well of course it is. All colleges are a scam. They give you a piece of paper and send you out to get a job. Once you were in the real world you have to learn the ropes. Your education means nothing. I graduated from the Barbazon School of Modeling Yugoslavian campus. I took many courses. Hair. Make up. Fellatio on impotent rich old men. All the basics. But I still had to learn by doing. And I made my mark by doing.  By doing Donald.

Now it is Donald’s turn. He was taken back a little but with a little rest he is planning his counter attack. First he decided to drop a big load on the race. That’s right Chris Christie is going to endorse him. All it cost was a life time pass to all of the all-you-can-eat buffets in all of the Trump Casinos. Don’t get me wrong. That might cost more than a million dollars but it is worth it. We also offered him the job as the White House food taster.  So he knows he will be part of the next administration. A big part.

Now the governor of Maine has endorsed us. That was an easy one. We just had to get him his own European mail order bride. I have a cousin with a cleft palate. She was into it. And now he doesn't have to spend all winter humping a Moose. The cascade is beginning.

We are not going to count our chickens before they hatch. So Donald also said he was going to go easy on Cruz. At least until we are out of Texas. Teddy has a lot of friends down there. Plus you don’t want to get him mad. He might bite you. Then you would turn into one of the living dead. So it is best to humor him. He will fall in line soon enough.

I can’t wait for us to get to Florida. I want to destroy the Rent Boy in his own backyard. We have some great research available. The photos of him in the hot tub at the Foam party. His arrest with his best friend who was involved in a big gay porn case. Another guy who was with him trading magic underwear when he was a Mormon. Who does that anyway? First he was Catholic. Then he was Mormon. Now he is both Catholic and Protestant at the same time. Who does that? You have to either be a Catholic or a Protestant. Maybe he is bi. Is that a thing?

I have to go. I am meeting Laura Bush for cocktails. She wants to give me some of the stuff they have on Teddy and Marco. Laura is a trip. She has some great stories. I can learn a lot from her.

I am going to be a great first lady.

Do you think I can wear a bare midriff dress to the Inaugural? That should give George Will a stroke. It makes my nipples hard just to think about it. Good times.