This was a few weeks ago.
I was discussing with my co-worker how scientists recently discovered a new dinosaur species; they found tons and tons of female fossils, but none male. So scientists figured that it might be the earliest evidence of lesbianism in the animal kingdom. She was like, "How can they tell it is female from a fossil?" And I told her it had to do with certain bones that are found only in the vagina area and the lack of certain bones that are found around the penis area. She was fascinated.
It went on for about 20 minutes until I told her they named the species lickalottapuss.
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I once worked with a couple who liked the idea of going to Everest, but really didn't fancy the effort of the huge trek to get there.
I told them it was a lot easier now that a huge series of chairlifts had just been installed which went all the way to base camp.
One Monday morning they arrived at the office and had a pop at me because they'd been to a travel agency to book a trip and the travel agent had promptly laughed at them.
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When my children were all much smaller, I convinced them that it was illegal to supply balloons to minors. I have PTSD and the sound of the balloons popping was terrifying to me, and I didn't want to deal with it. So I told them that they were illegal. It worked quite well except when we'd be in restaurants and an innocent waitress would sweetly say to them, "Do you want a balloon?" And one of them would say, "Do you want to go to PRISON?! I'm six!"
6 comments:
Everyday I convince people that I know what the hell I'm doing, despite not having a clue. The rest of you, however, are not fooling me.
I know. I was showing a bunch of people right here how to make an omelet and turning it onto the plate tucking in the edges and puffing it up, and said, "Now pretend you know what you're doing" as I was doing it, an ordinary thing but the whole place cracked up laughing at something not funny. Each omelet really is pretending you know what you're doing, and you see, that IS knowing what the hell you are doing: pretending excellently to excellent ends.
It's like the lessons to be gleaned from the Wizard of Oz.
Or perhaps the one hammered.
You have it inside you all along, Kids, the only thing you don't have is some acknowledgment outside yourself, an omelet-testimonial, an omelet-medal, an omelet-diploma, and that isn't necessary to get the omelet-job done.
I tricked Art Bell into believing that I was an immortal and he put me on his radio show for an hour to talk about it back in the mid 90's. It was awesome and I never thought I could pull it off, but it took some meticulous work, but I did it.
When my children were young I told them that the ice cream truck played music when it ran out of ice cream.
Michael Haz, that is both brilliant and amazing deceptive.
Snipes are real
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