"What's the most calculated thing you've ever seen an animal do?"
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I made a crow friend while smoking on the porch. I gave it fragments of whatever food I could find on the way out. One day, I found an empty pack of Marb on the porch. Puzzled, but I threw it away. Few days later, I found my crow bro standing behind 3 empty packs of cigarettes. I tried to pick them to throw away, but the crow bro was protecting them for some reason. Frustrated, but I gave it a small chunk of meat as I took another drag. As I gave it the meat, the crow picked up one of the packs and placed it front of me. Then, it hit me: the crow is trading with me. The trade went on for few more times until the winter hit Minnesota. tl;dr; a crow traded cigarette packaging for food with me.
A few years ago, there were a few slices of bread in the middle of the street for whatever reason. A crow kept flying down and treating themselves, but whenever they did, one of the neighbourhood dogs came and chased them off. The crow tried about three times to eat in peace, but the dog chased it off every time.
So the crow then decided to land a little bit away from the slices of bread and the dog ran towards it. The crow then flew off and landed about a metre away from where it just landed. The dog followed again. The crow repeated this until the dog was in a different street and then the crow came back and chowed down.
We used to have two kittens. One day at the dinner table one of them stood up and put two paws on my dad's lap. We all laughed at her obvious attempt at trying to steal food. While our attention was focussed on her, her sister jumped straight onto the table and stole a whole chicken drumstick. They both sprinted away and shared it nearby.
We were all impressed.
Just up the street from my apartment in San Francisco, there was one of those fast food restaurants that was either a KFC or a Taco Bell, depending on the angle from which it was viewed. The establishment was a frequent stopping point for students coming from the nearby college... and those students were a frequent target for a remarkably bright crow.
Now, on most days, the bird in question would just hang around the restaurant (as well as other ones nearby) and scavenge for scraps. Every once in a while, though - I saw this happen twice, and had it happen to me once - it would enact a much more complex scheme than simply going through the gutter: The crow had apparently discovered that money could be exchanged for food, so it would wait until it saw a likely mark, squawk at them to get their attention, then pick up and drop a coin. Anyone who responded would witness the bird hopping a few feet away, then following its "victim" toward the source of its next snack.
When the crow approached me, it dropped a nickel on the ground. I stooped, picked up the coin, and then jumped slightly when the bird made a noise that sounded not unlike "Taco!"
Needless to say, I bought that crow a taco.
The final out-of-pocket cost for me, minus the nickel, was something like $1.15. Even so, I figured a bird that smart deserved a reward simply for existing.
Of course, that was probably exactly what I was supposed to think.
TL;DR: A crow paid me five cents to buy it a taco.
18 comments:
Did I ever tell you people about the time that I jumped the shark?
I adore Michele Malkin.
She used the word "crapweasel" in her book title. You go grrl.
Sold Out: How High-Tech Billionaires & Bipartisan Beltway Crapweasels Are Screwing America's Best & Brightest Workers
After seeing Ravens in Alaska working as a team to get food I read up on them. Black birds are one of the few animals intelligent enough to work collectively. Some primates and Orca's do as well.
Ravens are mean mofo's. A couple were eating and I walked too close. They came right @ my fucking head!
Crows in Japan attack if you don't feed them, according to Radio Japan.
I put it down to atomic radiation.
Allen, you need to do that again for Festivus.
Those crow stories are too cool.
My daughter's cat would torment our big fluffy dog. He always wanted to be friends, but the cat wouldn't cooperate. She would purposely stand and wait for the dog to come after her, then try to claw him. She'd pretend to retreat down the hallway, then double-back for more clawing.
Crows are pretty tough on other birds but they can't handle Seagulls - they're even more aggressive and large.
Pirates vs. Bandits and the Pirates always win.
Read the comment. Whats up with saying it was "a meter away"? Another Foreigner who lives in SF.
Yeah, that's a yard innit.
The Belgians were manipulative but stupidly nothing so clever as crows.
The male that I had for a few weeks before driving with it to Atlanta won over my heart. He was only a year but he dominated my female immediately. On his first walk he heeled brilliantly as if he'd always been doing it mostly because of his uncertainty of new environment and his total certainty in me. So he crowded his shoulder into my knee and stepped on my foot continuously. He'd attach himself to my leg if he could.
On the trip I'd tie a long leash to outside of the car in the shade, go inside for breakfast or lunch, return to the car the leash untied with dog sitting there waiting. Not tied, but not going anywhere without me. There will be no abandoning of the dog.
The only thing he would eat is his dog kebble. That's IT.
None of the other dogs' favorite treats held any interest. Nothing counted as food. It was mystifying. And discouraging. All those fun things didn't work. He didn't even like Cheese-It's. What an odd dog. Nothing. Nothing but dry kebble.
The trip coincided with Thanksgiving. I'm cut the leg off a baked turkey. Set the leg on a separate plate to my left. A black blur. The leg I just cut disappeared. Across the opposite side of the living room, two rooms away, the dog pops up behind the sofa like Rin-Tin-Tin on a hill with a turkey leg in its mouth. I thought, "You little bastard. You win. It's yours."
I was impressed.
The rest of the house of guests went nuts chasing the dog all over the house upstairs and down back and forth the dog eluded them, they certain the dog will die if he crunches through the leg, but I didn't bother. I just stayed put and continued carving the turkey. From my pov the dog was brilliant the whole way. I wanted that dog.
"Read the comment. Whats up with saying it was "a meter away"? Another Foreigner who lives in SF."
Or just a generic pretentious San Franciscan who spent a GAP YEAR [say it loud: I'm whack and I'm proud] in Britain. Or once met someone British. Or Canadian. My annoying peeps.
Seagulls need to be wiped off the face of the earth. I like animals. I like both dogs and cats. I DESPISE seagulls. And, I despise the fucking idiots who feed them.
Some squirrels that I was feeding were annoyed by crows picking at a chicken carcass not far away. One gutsy squirrel charged into the middle of them and grabbed the carcass with the crows hopping around, flapping their wings, and cursing loudly at him. He dragged it about 200 feet away, his solution to aggressive crows.
"I DESPISE seagulls" - they're scavengers and do us a favor. Yeah, they'll kill little birds and doves if they get a chance, but they eat fish too, and no one gets upset about that. IRC, its against the law to shoot them. Crows can be shot - in season.
Strangely, I've never seen anyone feed a seagull despite living near the beach for a lot of my life. Or should I say "sea shore". I have seen people toss food to crows and other birds/mammals and seen Seagulls swoop in and take it.
"Or just a generic pretentious San Franciscan who spent a GAP YEAR"
That reminds of the annoying voice that would always say 'Mind the Gap' when I road the London Underground.
I am a huge fan of their subway system in London. I imagine that all of London underground is just a series of holes and tubes and burrows that will collapse in on itself at some point. Time to start building over it. Again. The "mind the gap" thing just becomes background noise after a while.
The most calculated thing I've never seen an animal do?
Have its way with Leonardo de Caprio.
Damn you Drudge!
Right now there's some menial re-doing the computer generated imagery so it looks less rapey.
I've fed a seagull. One in the deep winter freeze and snow in central Ohio. He went for tuna fish in the can.
He came back every day until the deep freeze ended.
Their feathers sound like an umbrella uup close.
You freak me out RH.
I once witnessed two squirrels teaming up to snatch some food from a crow. It went on for a while. One squirrel would charge at the bird trying to get it to turn it's back on the target,while the other tried to grab it. The squirrels won out and both scampered off together.
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